extended break. back for the moment
I kinda remember my mum telling me in around sec 2 that from her friend's children's experiences, people from single sex schools often were the 1st to get into relationship ands tuff like that in JCs.
I didn't really listen back then since i was at a tender naive age of like sec 2 and seriously had like 0 inclination to get involved in one.
So in retrospect, that part of my memory looks kinda hilarious now considering the kind of stuff that have materialised for me and my friends. Cause i see most of my friends around me falling in love and stuff and consequently feeling emo and stuff, and most of us are like from single sex schools. kinda ironic now that i look back.
I guess i really got my 1st real taste of liking someone in sec 4. I wouldn't exactly call it the biggest mistake of my life because given another chance i would have walked back and done the exact same things. Its not so much of not being able to accept the cold hard reality that everything ended. Its more of not being able to fathom what culminated in the months which ended up in a very awkard relationship i guess. It sucks more than anything to not be able to talk like we used to.
That was the 1st, i didn't learn anything about it, didn't know what went wrong, didn't know what i did wrong.
Then again life never goes the way you want it to be does it.
That was before JC.
After JC, i inexpliciably fell for a fellow council intern. This time the situation was kinda more different, its pretty difficult to explain it all out, but i guess at this one had a learning point. dun worry Melissa, you're forgiven :D
I realised the 3 girls i liked all kinda evoked different kind of emotions in me.
the 1st one was a possesive one, i wanted to be able to talk to her and all 24/7 and kinda wanted her all to myself i guess.
the 2nd one was, kinda like, pretty screw up i guess, but it was more of like, a passive kind, like i just wanted someone to fool around with, someone to pester and stuff haha
the 3rd and current one is kinda like, i duno. To be honest i'm unsure if she's a shield or wad. What i do know that 'liking her feels like a crime". I kind of find myself stealing peeks and glances at her during breaks and lunches, all the time unsure to make a move or to initate convo or stuff like that. I thought it was the defensiveness resulting from the 1st 2 experiences but. . .
I thought prehaps the difference in attitudes towards the 3 were a result of coming of age and maybe a slight change in maturity level but it doesn't look so. I guess that's something to discover as i grow eh.
I think coming back SRJC has been a rather bitter sweet pill to swallow.
Sweet as in i've been getting my way for quite some stuff. Forexample Pre-U Seminar which i would have definetely not been able to enter if i were in another JC. I'm pretty certain i can get into Council too unless something fucks me up pretty badly.
Hell, i can even take missing out on the soccer team as a positive since it kinda solves my damn dillema on which cca to choose lol.
bitter as in i hate my class. i just like freaking totally hate it. i dunno why. I just dun get that happy vibe i was expecting. maybe because of a few stuff here and there. I find myself gravitating towards the 1st 3 months people and rarely communicating with the classmatesthat i have. i guess its something that i will have to change eventually.
At this point of time i guess i gotta give a huge shoutout to the wonderful DEI'S! that i've found. so here's some air time to wonderful people like (in no order of merit)
SARAN!
BENJAMIN!
LITTERBUG!
SHARON!
XIONG WEI!
NICOLETTE!
SUYIN!
and friends like
MEL MEL MEL MEL MEL MEL MEL MEL MEL MEL MEL MEL
LAKE!
JAMES WONG YIK!
FELICIA!
KEITH CHANG!
YOKE MING!
WEE BENG!
BRYAN!
LYDIA!
great seniors like
BEN MAO!
CONSTANTINE!
WILLIAM!
NELSON!
damn for the 1st time in my life i'm actually beginning to see life in a positive light and begin to enjoy school..
ok i ran out of emo-ness to blog haha!
until next time people LOVE YOU ALL :D
I didn't really listen back then since i was at a tender naive age of like sec 2 and seriously had like 0 inclination to get involved in one.
So in retrospect, that part of my memory looks kinda hilarious now considering the kind of stuff that have materialised for me and my friends. Cause i see most of my friends around me falling in love and stuff and consequently feeling emo and stuff, and most of us are like from single sex schools. kinda ironic now that i look back.
I guess i really got my 1st real taste of liking someone in sec 4. I wouldn't exactly call it the biggest mistake of my life because given another chance i would have walked back and done the exact same things. Its not so much of not being able to accept the cold hard reality that everything ended. Its more of not being able to fathom what culminated in the months which ended up in a very awkard relationship i guess. It sucks more than anything to not be able to talk like we used to.
That was the 1st, i didn't learn anything about it, didn't know what went wrong, didn't know what i did wrong.
Then again life never goes the way you want it to be does it.
That was before JC.
After JC, i inexpliciably fell for a fellow council intern. This time the situation was kinda more different, its pretty difficult to explain it all out, but i guess at this one had a learning point. dun worry Melissa, you're forgiven :D
I realised the 3 girls i liked all kinda evoked different kind of emotions in me.
the 1st one was a possesive one, i wanted to be able to talk to her and all 24/7 and kinda wanted her all to myself i guess.
the 2nd one was, kinda like, pretty screw up i guess, but it was more of like, a passive kind, like i just wanted someone to fool around with, someone to pester and stuff haha
the 3rd and current one is kinda like, i duno. To be honest i'm unsure if she's a shield or wad. What i do know that 'liking her feels like a crime". I kind of find myself stealing peeks and glances at her during breaks and lunches, all the time unsure to make a move or to initate convo or stuff like that. I thought it was the defensiveness resulting from the 1st 2 experiences but. . .
I thought prehaps the difference in attitudes towards the 3 were a result of coming of age and maybe a slight change in maturity level but it doesn't look so. I guess that's something to discover as i grow eh.
I think coming back SRJC has been a rather bitter sweet pill to swallow.
Sweet as in i've been getting my way for quite some stuff. Forexample Pre-U Seminar which i would have definetely not been able to enter if i were in another JC. I'm pretty certain i can get into Council too unless something fucks me up pretty badly.
Hell, i can even take missing out on the soccer team as a positive since it kinda solves my damn dillema on which cca to choose lol.
bitter as in i hate my class. i just like freaking totally hate it. i dunno why. I just dun get that happy vibe i was expecting. maybe because of a few stuff here and there. I find myself gravitating towards the 1st 3 months people and rarely communicating with the classmatesthat i have. i guess its something that i will have to change eventually.
At this point of time i guess i gotta give a huge shoutout to the wonderful DEI'S! that i've found. so here's some air time to wonderful people like (in no order of merit)
SARAN!
BENJAMIN!
LITTERBUG!
SHARON!
XIONG WEI!
NICOLETTE!
SUYIN!
and friends like
MEL MEL MEL MEL MEL MEL MEL MEL MEL MEL MEL MEL
LAKE!
JAMES WONG YIK!
FELICIA!
KEITH CHANG!
YOKE MING!
WEE BENG!
BRYAN!
LYDIA!
great seniors like
BEN MAO!
CONSTANTINE!
WILLIAM!
NELSON!
damn for the 1st time in my life i'm actually beginning to see life in a positive light and begin to enjoy school..
ok i ran out of emo-ness to blog haha!
until next time people LOVE YOU ALL :D