retrospective thoughts from 2006
EDIT: I decided i could add on certain stuff to make this me interesting + replying tags here so here we go ^_^
PJW: haha. u like then good lo. you happy, i happy EVERYONE HAPPY ^_^
Chicken: of course la. who cares about liang =p. no la jk. i answered him on msn. and liang's my good friend. i sure answer de. if he got any problems i will do my best to help him if he asks haha
Amos: am i supposed to believe that!? no la jk. haha great to hear that i guess ^_^ happy new year. abit late but never mind. thought that counts right haha
wus: marcus? is that kus typed wrongly? anyway happy new year to u ^_^
liang: haha happy new year to u too
HOO: HOO LA LA. ok damn corny but yea haha i was bored. hahaa. u go Sarbucks then u call me and wai wan and the rest of the gang lo. minus the high class ah beng who is like in USA haha
WW: yea thanks.
Xueping: SRJC. you?
I know its kinda early to post this up, but I'm leaving for Bangkok, Thailand tomorrow morning and probably won't have time to pull off a decent post like this, so i guess i better start now so i don't regret not doing it when i get back i guess haha.
wait i got wai wan to put htis up on new year's day and also ying to help if he forgets so if this gets up. kudos to whichever who put it up. ^_^
alright, this post was entitled retrospective thoughts frm 2006, basically like wad the topic name suggests, its a mumbo jumbo of everything that has happened this year and my feelings on it i guess.
to be honest 2006 can more or less be summarised by the phrase 'the higher one's expectations, the higher one's disappointment' or something along the lines of this i guess. 2006 began very brightly, but ended off very disappointingly i guess, it was like everything you thought would only happen in your worst nightmares all happened, like opening pandora's box i guess.
I had very mixed feelings towards 2006. As usual, I was involved in the sec 1 camp, only there was a difference, due to Mr Siow's new arrangement, some of us who went there were Sec 4 but yet only had red shirts. For the uninitated, usually sec 3'shold red shirts, and sec 4 black shirts. I was 1 of those who were holding red shirts. so naturally I felt a stigma around me. a sense of inferiority i guess. What kinda helped numb the feeling was prehaps the knowledge that Man Utd had beaten either Chelsea or Arsenal on the morning before the camp. Kinda bleh but yea. So i kinda went into the camp abit half-heartedly, din really bother much, so i felt my performance was pretty mediocre by my standards i guess. was quite happy go lucky i guess.
Another reason was of course the up and coming o levels at the end of the year. I mean everyone felt nervous for sure la.
I kinda hit rock bottom around a few days after i came back from camp. My parents kinda err... got into a quarrel i guess and i couldn't really sleep cause it kinda has an impact on you. So...1 fine night, i embarked on what everyone who knows what i did describes as "crazy, idiotic, out-of-your-mind blah blah." you get the idea i think. To be honest I don't really know why i did it, I guess at that time it felt like the best remedy for everything i was keeping inside, and doing it made me felt better i guess. Sadly, the 1st time i did it, my mum caught me in the act LOL. Had to wreck my brains to really crap up something that sounded reasonable. I came up with something i guess, i doubt my mother really bought it but then i think she didn't really care. So wad began as a spur-of-a-moment thing ended up as something really addictive. I was doing it perennially every night. for close to 2 months with no sign of stopping. I would just do it, whether or not it was successful. Looking back now it feels damn err...i dunno, dumb? However, i know how it felt back then, and to be frank, I dunno how i eventually got over that method of numbing my feelings.
When CA came i wasn't really panicky. Partly because I had attained a normal (for my poor standards) L1R5 of aroud 28, which seemed alright partly because I felt not enough was done for it to be taken seriously as a reflection as our true standard.
So i dunno, I think i began to kinda slack down and all, or maybe i was just continuing how i had always been for the longest time ever. normal slack have fun. gosh i think i forgot i was in sec 4 LOL.
I remember just before SA we had this dumb thing called the Table Tennis craze in class. damn funny. We began to play Table Tennis on the schools teacher's table with a Table Tennis ball and calculator covers. I can't remember who started it but yea, it was great fun lolx.
SA came as a big shock. i more less failed everything but my both Languages and combined Humans. I hit an all time high of 36 points. omg. my mum went crazy, my father too. and this time, due to circumstances beyond my control, the remedy i had subscribed to at the start of the year could not be used, i began to kinda sulk, and just like..felt kidna helpless i guess? i dunno. screw it la haha. then came all the double tuitions and all and fuck. and all sorts of reasons were thrown up like how our test was brought forward so we had precious little time to study and all.
despite all these that were happening, I had alot of fun in Sec 4. I began to get close to the people around me like Choy, Heng, DD (dashing darren =p see i so nice sia i din put the real meaning haha) Seth and abit with Boey although i have to admit that my attitude with him was quite bad. I think a sorry here would not be out of place.
Then there was also the great Trip to MALAYSIA !!! KLANG!
where that bastard ben go prank me. and i ended up looking like a clown haha. and when the stupid tour guide commented that "i never see people so interested in cards before" Its also simultaneously the same day where i lost an insane amount of money to Ben and Dennis in 3 man bridge and subsequently won it all back as the Banker for BlackJack at Night. it was a great time man.
"So dark the con of Liang" also became famous as a phrase. Its when we discovered the truth about Liang's erm..stuff. how he's been feeding us lies and we BRUTALLY EXPOSED HIM HAHA. was damn funny. Me and amos combined forces to take it. unforgettable. he was damn sad for the whole day i think LOL
Then came the celebrations such as the annual X-Country where after it the group of us celebrated and all. Where Liang gave his interview which eventually appeared on Sports FRONT PAGE SIA. It was just great the bunch of us just sitting there and talking cock. 1 of the mre enjoyable memories from this year.
Then came the june holidays and the World Cup. Personally i was rooting for the Netherlands but never mind haha. I think the most significant thing that occured during the June holidays was when it happened. I dunno how it happened, or why it happened i just know that it happened. lol. that was liek carbon copied fro Matrix Reloaded. You can call it the beginning of the end or wadever. It was like the last thing i ever wanted to happen. It was 1 of the thigns i feared the most i guess, but at the same time it was 1 of the things that I had expected to happen for the longest time ever, so when it happened i couldn't really say i had the shock of my life. more of expected but just didn't know how to react to it. Bad reaction i guess. oh well. looking back, I think i kinda put it down thinking that wadever happened happened and couldn't have happened any other way. why? we are still alive. ok fine taken from Matrix Reloaded too haha.
Also this is a special thanks to Benjamin WEE. for so nicely putting up with us for 1 night when we watched soccer at his house and wrecked havoc with me Wai Wan, Liang. OK fine, iknow he still says that his nieghbour complain because i kept running up and down the stairs but WHO CARES HAHAHA.
Fast Forward to the months before Prelims. GUESS WAD? OUR CLASS WAS STRUCK BY THE BRIDGE CRAZE. Learning my lesson from the period pre Mid Year where i was supposedely studying in class when i was actually playing cards in class, i played with much more caution, choosing to finish a certain preset amount of work before i engaged in the intellectual card game known as bridge. helll that stupid Mr Ho also go suan us about that LOL. Gambling God sia he.
I guess I came out with a whole lot of regrets after prelims. 1 was not studying harder for Sciences. I failed both with d7's. pulling my L1R5 all the way down to 20. and My english had an A2 missing A1 by 1 mark. and my biggest regret was not studying harder for my PSLE Higher Chinese. Higher Chinese enables you to reduce your score by 2 points. I got this ass clown of a friend who had 20 points. but had higher malay and so reduced 4 points after reducing CCA too. so he had like ...16 points. the difference is exaggerated dammit.
so after the prelims, i started to go to starbucks to study when i met Alton, duncan, Kristin, Eileen, Jansen, ines and a few others whose names i forgot LOL. They kinda altered my view on life, and the people who do stuff that they do, like smoking and all. I had this naive little view that everyone who smoked had to have a certain standard of morals that were below me and were of course stupid. but they kinda changed that naive little view that i had been fed since young i guess.
then o levels came and went. I think i fucked up 3 subjects, combined humanities, and both my sciences. I expect to get aroud 12-14 points for O's anything lesser than that would be a disappointment i guess. Anything more would be a bonus. Hope to get into SAJC eventually. haha
I think in the last few months of school, it was like i opened up Pandora's box. Some of the thigns that happened i fully expected it, some of the things kinda happened so unexpectedly that till now i have yet to fully grasp the entire situation. confused hurt I kinda hecked cared everything and began on a new search i guess.
2006 was a year for me to really look at myself thru a new light. I never thought it was possible to hate someone because he was like that. I had never known wad it was like to be hated, i mean fine i won't be egoistic enough to say everyone lieks me but at least i was neutral to most in Primary school and in lower sec i guess. If any, i think it was kinda mutual, so when it became kinda 1 sided, I really didn't know wad was going on. after awhile i was informed i guess, and well it made me think about myself more. And it thought me how to see and look at people mre cynically, that people do not always wanna tell you the truth no matter how trustable that person is. It showed me to look at people for all sorts of angles, think in their shoes and most importantly, trust my gut feeling.
so Thank You 2006, for being such an amazing year, not the Sweet Sixteen that ying was telling me about but still a great and life changing year i guess. hell I even recieved my 1st postcard from overseas and my 1st Valentine's Day Card lolx. Thank You, for showing me how life is more than what i thought it was. for telling me what i should never have been. for showing me the path to continue to walk on. for leading the way to greater heights. for showing me that every failure is merely a step to success. my father often said, there are no forever friends, there are no forever enemies, your enemy today could be ur best friend next time, your best friend today could stab u in the back. I still dunno how the same guy whom we discussed about how Japan's jersey was damn nice, about how Japan should have beat Brazil could end up today as my most familliar stranger. then again, we can never understand everything in life i guess.
2006 a year to remember, a year to forget, a year to hate, a year to love.
P.S I full expect mr L or mr E or whichever alphabet u wanna choose to come in and tag something. you got 24 to choose so take ur pic lolx.
p.s.s errm...I'm really sorry. i tried to avoid most of it le. If you still feel angry that i mentioned it well i guess... i have nothing to say bah. Sorry is still the only thing i can offer.
PJW: haha. u like then good lo. you happy, i happy EVERYONE HAPPY ^_^
Chicken: of course la. who cares about liang =p. no la jk. i answered him on msn. and liang's my good friend. i sure answer de. if he got any problems i will do my best to help him if he asks haha
Amos: am i supposed to believe that!? no la jk. haha great to hear that i guess ^_^ happy new year. abit late but never mind. thought that counts right haha
wus: marcus? is that kus typed wrongly? anyway happy new year to u ^_^
liang: haha happy new year to u too
HOO: HOO LA LA. ok damn corny but yea haha i was bored. hahaa. u go Sarbucks then u call me and wai wan and the rest of the gang lo. minus the high class ah beng who is like in USA haha
WW: yea thanks.
Xueping: SRJC. you?
I know its kinda early to post this up, but I'm leaving for Bangkok, Thailand tomorrow morning and probably won't have time to pull off a decent post like this, so i guess i better start now so i don't regret not doing it when i get back i guess haha.
wait i got wai wan to put htis up on new year's day and also ying to help if he forgets so if this gets up. kudos to whichever who put it up. ^_^
alright, this post was entitled retrospective thoughts frm 2006, basically like wad the topic name suggests, its a mumbo jumbo of everything that has happened this year and my feelings on it i guess.
to be honest 2006 can more or less be summarised by the phrase 'the higher one's expectations, the higher one's disappointment' or something along the lines of this i guess. 2006 began very brightly, but ended off very disappointingly i guess, it was like everything you thought would only happen in your worst nightmares all happened, like opening pandora's box i guess.
"you were everything, everything that i wanted. We were meant to be, supposed to be but we lost it. All of the memories so close to me just fade away. All this time you were pretending, so much for my happy ending"
I had very mixed feelings towards 2006. As usual, I was involved in the sec 1 camp, only there was a difference, due to Mr Siow's new arrangement, some of us who went there were Sec 4 but yet only had red shirts. For the uninitated, usually sec 3'shold red shirts, and sec 4 black shirts. I was 1 of those who were holding red shirts. so naturally I felt a stigma around me. a sense of inferiority i guess. What kinda helped numb the feeling was prehaps the knowledge that Man Utd had beaten either Chelsea or Arsenal on the morning before the camp. Kinda bleh but yea. So i kinda went into the camp abit half-heartedly, din really bother much, so i felt my performance was pretty mediocre by my standards i guess. was quite happy go lucky i guess.
"Well the years start coming
And they don't coming
Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running
Didn't make sense not to live for fun
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb
So much to do so much to see
So what's wrong with taking the back streets
You'll never know if you don't go (GO)
You'll never shine if you don't glow"
Another reason was of course the up and coming o levels at the end of the year. I mean everyone felt nervous for sure la.
I kinda hit rock bottom around a few days after i came back from camp. My parents kinda err... got into a quarrel i guess and i couldn't really sleep cause it kinda has an impact on you. So...1 fine night, i embarked on what everyone who knows what i did describes as "crazy, idiotic, out-of-your-mind blah blah." you get the idea i think. To be honest I don't really know why i did it, I guess at that time it felt like the best remedy for everything i was keeping inside, and doing it made me felt better i guess. Sadly, the 1st time i did it, my mum caught me in the act LOL. Had to wreck my brains to really crap up something that sounded reasonable. I came up with something i guess, i doubt my mother really bought it but then i think she didn't really care. So wad began as a spur-of-a-moment thing ended up as something really addictive. I was doing it perennially every night. for close to 2 months with no sign of stopping. I would just do it, whether or not it was successful. Looking back now it feels damn err...i dunno, dumb? However, i know how it felt back then, and to be frank, I dunno how i eventually got over that method of numbing my feelings.
"Sometimes life can be a burden
Tryna stay one step ahead
I feel the world upon my shoulder each time
I'm standing out on the edge
And my hopes have all deserted me
Like they washed away in the sand
And it's hurting my pride
Tryna survive
But i know i stand a chance
When you lay your hands
Oh yeah
'Coz it's the only thing I have that still makes sense "
When CA came i wasn't really panicky. Partly because I had attained a normal (for my poor standards) L1R5 of aroud 28, which seemed alright partly because I felt not enough was done for it to be taken seriously as a reflection as our true standard.
So i dunno, I think i began to kinda slack down and all, or maybe i was just continuing how i had always been for the longest time ever. normal slack have fun. gosh i think i forgot i was in sec 4 LOL.
I remember just before SA we had this dumb thing called the Table Tennis craze in class. damn funny. We began to play Table Tennis on the schools teacher's table with a Table Tennis ball and calculator covers. I can't remember who started it but yea, it was great fun lolx.
SA came as a big shock. i more less failed everything but my both Languages and combined Humans. I hit an all time high of 36 points. omg. my mum went crazy, my father too. and this time, due to circumstances beyond my control, the remedy i had subscribed to at the start of the year could not be used, i began to kinda sulk, and just like..felt kidna helpless i guess? i dunno. screw it la haha. then came all the double tuitions and all and fuck. and all sorts of reasons were thrown up like how our test was brought forward so we had precious little time to study and all.
"I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
‘Cause I’m broken when I’m open
And I don’t feel like I am strong enough
‘Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome
And I don’t feel light when you’re gone away"
despite all these that were happening, I had alot of fun in Sec 4. I began to get close to the people around me like Choy, Heng, DD (dashing darren =p see i so nice sia i din put the real meaning haha) Seth and abit with Boey although i have to admit that my attitude with him was quite bad. I think a sorry here would not be out of place.
Then there was also the great Trip to MALAYSIA !!! KLANG!
where that bastard ben go prank me. and i ended up looking like a clown haha. and when the stupid tour guide commented that "i never see people so interested in cards before" Its also simultaneously the same day where i lost an insane amount of money to Ben and Dennis in 3 man bridge and subsequently won it all back as the Banker for BlackJack at Night. it was a great time man.
"So dark the con of Liang" also became famous as a phrase. Its when we discovered the truth about Liang's erm..stuff. how he's been feeding us lies and we BRUTALLY EXPOSED HIM HAHA. was damn funny. Me and amos combined forces to take it. unforgettable. he was damn sad for the whole day i think LOL
"EH BEN THE PIZZA COME LIAO LA EH PAY MONEY QUICK!"
Then came the celebrations such as the annual X-Country where after it the group of us celebrated and all. Where Liang gave his interview which eventually appeared on Sports FRONT PAGE SIA. It was just great the bunch of us just sitting there and talking cock. 1 of the mre enjoyable memories from this year.
Then came the june holidays and the World Cup. Personally i was rooting for the Netherlands but never mind haha. I think the most significant thing that occured during the June holidays was when it happened. I dunno how it happened, or why it happened i just know that it happened. lol. that was liek carbon copied fro Matrix Reloaded. You can call it the beginning of the end or wadever. It was like the last thing i ever wanted to happen. It was 1 of the thigns i feared the most i guess, but at the same time it was 1 of the things that I had expected to happen for the longest time ever, so when it happened i couldn't really say i had the shock of my life. more of expected but just didn't know how to react to it. Bad reaction i guess. oh well. looking back, I think i kinda put it down thinking that wadever happened happened and couldn't have happened any other way. why? we are still alive. ok fine taken from Matrix Reloaded too haha.
Trinity: That went well
Neo: Did we do something wrong?
Morpheus: No. Everythign that should have happened, happened and couldn't have
happened any other way.
Neo: why?
Morpheus: We are still alive.
Also this is a special thanks to Benjamin WEE. for so nicely putting up with us for 1 night when we watched soccer at his house and wrecked havoc with me Wai Wan, Liang. OK fine, iknow he still says that his nieghbour complain because i kept running up and down the stairs but WHO CARES HAHAHA.
Fast Forward to the months before Prelims. GUESS WAD? OUR CLASS WAS STRUCK BY THE BRIDGE CRAZE. Learning my lesson from the period pre Mid Year where i was supposedely studying in class when i was actually playing cards in class, i played with much more caution, choosing to finish a certain preset amount of work before i engaged in the intellectual card game known as bridge. helll that stupid Mr Ho also go suan us about that LOL. Gambling God sia he.
"If I had 1 million dollars. 1 Million Dollars. If you owe any money, don't pay also no problem."
I guess I came out with a whole lot of regrets after prelims. 1 was not studying harder for Sciences. I failed both with d7's. pulling my L1R5 all the way down to 20. and My english had an A2 missing A1 by 1 mark. and my biggest regret was not studying harder for my PSLE Higher Chinese. Higher Chinese enables you to reduce your score by 2 points. I got this ass clown of a friend who had 20 points. but had higher malay and so reduced 4 points after reducing CCA too. so he had like ...16 points. the difference is exaggerated dammit.
so after the prelims, i started to go to starbucks to study when i met Alton, duncan, Kristin, Eileen, Jansen, ines and a few others whose names i forgot LOL. They kinda altered my view on life, and the people who do stuff that they do, like smoking and all. I had this naive little view that everyone who smoked had to have a certain standard of morals that were below me and were of course stupid. but they kinda changed that naive little view that i had been fed since young i guess.
"
I'm tired of staring at the sun
Can't stand the way you burnt my eyes so I can't see
Stealing every breathe i breath."
then o levels came and went. I think i fucked up 3 subjects, combined humanities, and both my sciences. I expect to get aroud 12-14 points for O's anything lesser than that would be a disappointment i guess. Anything more would be a bonus. Hope to get into SAJC eventually. haha
I think in the last few months of school, it was like i opened up Pandora's box. Some of the thigns that happened i fully expected it, some of the things kinda happened so unexpectedly that till now i have yet to fully grasp the entire situation. confused hurt I kinda hecked cared everything and began on a new search i guess.
"I tried to be perfect
But nothing was worth it
I don’t believe it makes me real
I thought it’d be easy
But no one believes me
I meant all the things I said"
2006 was a year for me to really look at myself thru a new light. I never thought it was possible to hate someone because he was like that. I had never known wad it was like to be hated, i mean fine i won't be egoistic enough to say everyone lieks me but at least i was neutral to most in Primary school and in lower sec i guess. If any, i think it was kinda mutual, so when it became kinda 1 sided, I really didn't know wad was going on. after awhile i was informed i guess, and well it made me think about myself more. And it thought me how to see and look at people mre cynically, that people do not always wanna tell you the truth no matter how trustable that person is. It showed me to look at people for all sorts of angles, think in their shoes and most importantly, trust my gut feeling.
so Thank You 2006, for being such an amazing year, not the Sweet Sixteen that ying was telling me about but still a great and life changing year i guess. hell I even recieved my 1st postcard from overseas and my 1st Valentine's Day Card lolx. Thank You, for showing me how life is more than what i thought it was. for telling me what i should never have been. for showing me the path to continue to walk on. for leading the way to greater heights. for showing me that every failure is merely a step to success. my father often said, there are no forever friends, there are no forever enemies, your enemy today could be ur best friend next time, your best friend today could stab u in the back. I still dunno how the same guy whom we discussed about how Japan's jersey was damn nice, about how Japan should have beat Brazil could end up today as my most familliar stranger. then again, we can never understand everything in life i guess.
2006 a year to remember, a year to forget, a year to hate, a year to love.
"When darkness turns to light. It Ends Tonight. It Ends Tonight."
P.S I full expect mr L or mr E or whichever alphabet u wanna choose to come in and tag something. you got 24 to choose so take ur pic lolx.
p.s.s errm...I'm really sorry. i tried to avoid most of it le. If you still feel angry that i mentioned it well i guess... i have nothing to say bah. Sorry is still the only thing i can offer.
"I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
"
everything i tell you is a lie.
