dé·jà vu
in life, i have a few favourite words. vindicate is definetly up there in my all time favourite list. Maverick is also one of my favourite too.
a lesser known one would be "dé·jà vu"
i guess by this point of time, people who have read my blog erm.. religiously would probably know the direction I'm going. Coupled with a special request for a longer blog post, this post is gonna be one to remember i guess. makes no sense at all but who cares.
the whole thing feels so fucking deja vu. From the way she changed after she realised the truth. to their attitudes after the transformation. the way they treated me after it. basically everything. kinda like getting slapped by the same hand again. therefore the deja vu.
and the things that suck most is that this time, it wasn't my fault. i took great pains to avoid the mistakes. in the end i got stabbed in the back by like the last person i expected to do it. the feelings is kinda. i dunno. is it even describable?
i guess the final and most irritating feeling of all would be that both times, none of them bothered to give me an answer, both chose instead to just ignore,leaving me to pick up the signs or in this case, get information from other people.
Its the real-tear-you-apart-and-rip-you feeling.
The Oracle: I can tell you that I only remember bits and pieces of my past. I don't remember your face, but I remember your heart. You asked me one question, if she would ever love you ? I told you, only as a friend, as her brother. Yes, I remember that smile. I recall asking what you were thinking, but I can't remember what you said.
Ghost: I thanked you.
The Oracle: Why ?
Ghost: Because I felt freed.
The Oracle: From what ?
Ghost: Expectation.
( The Oracle smiles. )
The Oracle: Ghost, you still love her, don't you ?
Ghost: As much as she loves another.
The Oracle: That is a hard path to walk.
Ghost: Nietzsche said it best 'One must want nothing to be different - not forward, not backward, not in all eternity. Not only bear what is necessary, but to love it.'
The Oracle: Armor fati. You're a good man, Ghost. If somehow we do survive, if the path does continue, I hope it is made by others like you.
in this case, i guess Lelin and Si Ying deserve special mention for their help i guess. thanks to the 2 of them great friends ^_^. haha
yes yes, freed from expectations or more specifically, vindication.
i dunno, my mind is kinda in a whirl. everything's going haywire. my only saving grace is lake finding me a thermometer for tml's temperature check.
there's a saying that when you're at the bottom, the only place you can move is up. I guess wad si ying says is right in some ways, at this age, the important stuff is studies and soccer.
the thing is i'm not sad at anything else, but your subtle movements that blatantly show ur displeasure at my presence, those same subtleties that seem to tell me to fuck off, and that same subtleties to freeze up our friendship. that's the only thing that makes me sad. and i fucking hate it. cause its really like Ying all over again.
you're probably not gonna read this, so maybe that's why i did this post up with abit more deliberation i guess.
i'm going to sleep now. screw everything else
a lesser known one would be "dé·jà vu"
i guess by this point of time, people who have read my blog erm.. religiously would probably know the direction I'm going. Coupled with a special request for a longer blog post, this post is gonna be one to remember i guess. makes no sense at all but who cares.
the whole thing feels so fucking deja vu. From the way she changed after she realised the truth. to their attitudes after the transformation. the way they treated me after it. basically everything. kinda like getting slapped by the same hand again. therefore the deja vu.
and the things that suck most is that this time, it wasn't my fault. i took great pains to avoid the mistakes. in the end i got stabbed in the back by like the last person i expected to do it. the feelings is kinda. i dunno. is it even describable?
i guess the final and most irritating feeling of all would be that both times, none of them bothered to give me an answer, both chose instead to just ignore,leaving me to pick up the signs or in this case, get information from other people.
Its the real-tear-you-apart-and-rip-you feeling.
The Oracle: I can tell you that I only remember bits and pieces of my past. I don't remember your face, but I remember your heart. You asked me one question, if she would ever love you ? I told you, only as a friend, as her brother. Yes, I remember that smile. I recall asking what you were thinking, but I can't remember what you said.
Ghost: I thanked you.
The Oracle: Why ?
Ghost: Because I felt freed.
The Oracle: From what ?
Ghost: Expectation.
( The Oracle smiles. )
The Oracle: Ghost, you still love her, don't you ?
Ghost: As much as she loves another.
The Oracle: That is a hard path to walk.
Ghost: Nietzsche said it best 'One must want nothing to be different - not forward, not backward, not in all eternity. Not only bear what is necessary, but to love it.'
The Oracle: Armor fati. You're a good man, Ghost. If somehow we do survive, if the path does continue, I hope it is made by others like you.
in this case, i guess Lelin and Si Ying deserve special mention for their help i guess. thanks to the 2 of them great friends ^_^. haha
yes yes, freed from expectations or more specifically, vindication.
i dunno, my mind is kinda in a whirl. everything's going haywire. my only saving grace is lake finding me a thermometer for tml's temperature check.
"when all you gotta keep is strong, move along move along like i know ya do."
there's a saying that when you're at the bottom, the only place you can move is up. I guess wad si ying says is right in some ways, at this age, the important stuff is studies and soccer.
the thing is i'm not sad at anything else, but your subtle movements that blatantly show ur displeasure at my presence, those same subtleties that seem to tell me to fuck off, and that same subtleties to freeze up our friendship. that's the only thing that makes me sad. and i fucking hate it. cause its really like Ying all over again.
you're probably not gonna read this, so maybe that's why i did this post up with abit more deliberation i guess.
i'm going to sleep now. screw everything else
Let it shine on
Even when the day is done and all the light is gone
Let it shine on
You're running high but dark inside
What little light has left you and shines on