when you love someone, and they break your heart.
I think my procastination is getting from bad to worst. this post was due like... onMonday and I've only just begun writing it.
time really flies, just last friday I was away at a camp for Geylang Serai's Project Linking Hearts 2009 camp at Adventure Camp at Sarimbun Scout Camp for Metta School students. This week, I spent the entire Sat lazing at home. But that wasn't exactly the point i think.
The camp really made me think about... stuff. and life as a whole.
I like to measure things by giving it a value first. In this case, it started off with me trying to figure out why I wanted to go in the first place.
and for the first time in my life (and yea, this camp had alot of these 'firsts'), I couldnt give an answer. It really just came up as my friend asked me if i was interested and I just said yes. I know I told a couple of people that like perhapsI could insert it into my SMU application to say that I was doing CIP and stuff, but like, I dunno, that thought never really like formed the central reason for me going. It really just boiled down to me saying yes for...'fun'. And ok fine perhaps a good way to save up on spending money for 2 days, and an easy way out of finding things to do for 2 days, which was really getting to me cause i really had nothing to do these days, and as DJ lukuli can testify, it gets really painful sometimes.
so in any case, this camp was special in several ways I guess cause the kids i were taking weren't just kids, they were erm... (please excuse me for my embarassing lack of a better term) - "special". Yea in that sort of way.
I wasn't sure what to expect, what they would be like. Sterotypical of me but yea, I guess we all are a little like that deep down inside.
so keeping in mind all my apprehension, all my preconcieved notions and having thought up of nearly a thousand variations of how this thing could possibly, how i could possibly screw up my entire camp up cause I couldnt communicate with them effectively...
the camp turned out well.
The kids were... really really really normal. Sure you had one or two that were clearly slower than the others but apart from that, they were just like your typical average lower sec kids. We even got embarassed when they remembered our names much quicker than we did, and we only got saved cause the one who challenged us had her name written on her water bottle, so we managed to not end up with egg on our faces.
I guess the biggest part I learnt about myself was just how god damned bloody spoilt i was. I confess I wasn't able to sleep during the 1st night. Like totally. I was turning around here and there and sitting up and lying back down, totally not being able to get to sleep. I know I've been suffering from insomnia abit and stuff but even during other camps it was never bad. Sure, i slept lightly and woke up inbetween, but it was like little breaks in between a long sleep, but never this bad. Lights out went off at like... 11:00. I think i only managed to fall asleep around like. 2am earliest. Needless to say, the next day was... tough. Now I'm just... worried about how I'm gonna adjust to army life.
I know I can only get stronger after everything tha's happened, but.....
time really flies, just last friday I was away at a camp for Geylang Serai's Project Linking Hearts 2009 camp at Adventure Camp at Sarimbun Scout Camp for Metta School students. This week, I spent the entire Sat lazing at home. But that wasn't exactly the point i think.
The camp really made me think about... stuff. and life as a whole.
I like to measure things by giving it a value first. In this case, it started off with me trying to figure out why I wanted to go in the first place.
and for the first time in my life (and yea, this camp had alot of these 'firsts'), I couldnt give an answer. It really just came up as my friend asked me if i was interested and I just said yes. I know I told a couple of people that like perhapsI could insert it into my SMU application to say that I was doing CIP and stuff, but like, I dunno, that thought never really like formed the central reason for me going. It really just boiled down to me saying yes for...'fun'. And ok fine perhaps a good way to save up on spending money for 2 days, and an easy way out of finding things to do for 2 days, which was really getting to me cause i really had nothing to do these days, and as DJ lukuli can testify, it gets really painful sometimes.
so in any case, this camp was special in several ways I guess cause the kids i were taking weren't just kids, they were erm... (please excuse me for my embarassing lack of a better term) - "special". Yea in that sort of way.
I wasn't sure what to expect, what they would be like. Sterotypical of me but yea, I guess we all are a little like that deep down inside.
so keeping in mind all my apprehension, all my preconcieved notions and having thought up of nearly a thousand variations of how this thing could possibly, how i could possibly screw up my entire camp up cause I couldnt communicate with them effectively...
the camp turned out well.
The kids were... really really really normal. Sure you had one or two that were clearly slower than the others but apart from that, they were just like your typical average lower sec kids. We even got embarassed when they remembered our names much quicker than we did, and we only got saved cause the one who challenged us had her name written on her water bottle, so we managed to not end up with egg on our faces.
I guess the biggest part I learnt about myself was just how god damned bloody spoilt i was. I confess I wasn't able to sleep during the 1st night. Like totally. I was turning around here and there and sitting up and lying back down, totally not being able to get to sleep. I know I've been suffering from insomnia abit and stuff but even during other camps it was never bad. Sure, i slept lightly and woke up inbetween, but it was like little breaks in between a long sleep, but never this bad. Lights out went off at like... 11:00. I think i only managed to fall asleep around like. 2am earliest. Needless to say, the next day was... tough. Now I'm just... worried about how I'm gonna adjust to army life.
I know I can only get stronger after everything tha's happened, but.....
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