pencil marks
I remember how i practised my handwriting earnestly back in primary 3. The reward? A chance to finally become a 'big boy' and finally get to write in pen. My teacher's rationale was that if you couldn't write legibly, at least in a pencil she could make you erase and re-write it.
but does a pencil really erase off everything? maybe just the graphite markings off the paper, but if you brush away the eraser shavings and look carefully, you'll notice that there's still a mark left. Un-removable (is there such a word!?). All you can do is to over-write it, literally. Write over it. cover it up. but its there, and you know it. Life's simple, you make choices you don't look back. The thing is sometimes, you just gotta look back to learn from the mistakes.
making mistakes is part and parcel of life. I seem to have an affinity for attracting trouble. making friends is one thing, keeping them is another, and mantaining a decent reputation is a whole new ball game. I've never doen it with much success, since sec school and even up till now. I've been hinted alot that its because of the 1st 3 months. I'm not sure exactly. I kinda regret lotsa things that I did back in j1 at times, some stuff's been erased, although the marks are still there. Others were written in ink. ouch. pretty crappy i know. I know alot of people in school, maybe that was my short-coming. Maybe I'm just not blessed with the skill of knowing people without slapping others the wrong way. Perhaps, I'm not gifted with the skill of hypocrisy, to exhibit 1 personality when I'm actually of a different personality. I dunno, how else do you explain people thinking that you have an ulterior motive in knowing someone else, or that everygirl you talk to is 1 that you're interested in!? I learnt my mistake so this year has been a relatively boring one, where I'm almost following a policy of isolationism. And JC's feeling like being back in VS where I find myself sticking with guys more often than not, mostly cause most of the trouble's been started off by girls >_><_< (before any mis-understanding arises from this statement, I don't mean to over generalise every girl, just a small few who misunderstand me and spread misguided rumours)
this has nither been the first, nor will it be the last of reflections. I did if in sec school, once last year, and I guess this is the first of this year.
At the end of the day, my conclusion is that, no matter what kind of a person you are, things will always be said against you. Thats life. Worst still if you're those who tend to speak out more than others. Every move of yours comes under scrutiny. All you can do is to just find a group of 'brothers' who know what you truly are like, and stick to them. they're the ones who care for you, the're the ones who know what you're truly like. If the rest don't like you, fine, so be it? Life's too short for you to care about everything in the world, you're piorities aren't to make yourself universally liked, unless of course you're a movie star etc. We all have regrets in life, but they just stay that way. regrets, simple dreams wishes which can never be fulfilled, so why immerse yourself in it? For the better or the worst, some people obviously have already been rubbed the wrong way, pun unintended. Time to focus on not rubbing friends the wrong way too. And to a much larger extent. A levels.
Vindicated.
I am selfish. I am wrong.
I am right. I swear I'm right.
Swear I knew it all along. ~ Dashboard confessionals - Vindicated
but does a pencil really erase off everything? maybe just the graphite markings off the paper, but if you brush away the eraser shavings and look carefully, you'll notice that there's still a mark left. Un-removable (is there such a word!?). All you can do is to over-write it, literally. Write over it. cover it up. but its there, and you know it. Life's simple, you make choices you don't look back. The thing is sometimes, you just gotta look back to learn from the mistakes.
making mistakes is part and parcel of life. I seem to have an affinity for attracting trouble. making friends is one thing, keeping them is another, and mantaining a decent reputation is a whole new ball game. I've never doen it with much success, since sec school and even up till now. I've been hinted alot that its because of the 1st 3 months. I'm not sure exactly. I kinda regret lotsa things that I did back in j1 at times, some stuff's been erased, although the marks are still there. Others were written in ink. ouch. pretty crappy i know. I know alot of people in school, maybe that was my short-coming. Maybe I'm just not blessed with the skill of knowing people without slapping others the wrong way. Perhaps, I'm not gifted with the skill of hypocrisy, to exhibit 1 personality when I'm actually of a different personality. I dunno, how else do you explain people thinking that you have an ulterior motive in knowing someone else, or that everygirl you talk to is 1 that you're interested in!? I learnt my mistake so this year has been a relatively boring one, where I'm almost following a policy of isolationism. And JC's feeling like being back in VS where I find myself sticking with guys more often than not, mostly cause most of the trouble's been started off by girls >_><_< (before any mis-understanding arises from this statement, I don't mean to over generalise every girl, just a small few who misunderstand me and spread misguided rumours)
this has nither been the first, nor will it be the last of reflections. I did if in sec school, once last year, and I guess this is the first of this year.
At the end of the day, my conclusion is that, no matter what kind of a person you are, things will always be said against you. Thats life. Worst still if you're those who tend to speak out more than others. Every move of yours comes under scrutiny. All you can do is to just find a group of 'brothers' who know what you truly are like, and stick to them. they're the ones who care for you, the're the ones who know what you're truly like. If the rest don't like you, fine, so be it? Life's too short for you to care about everything in the world, you're piorities aren't to make yourself universally liked, unless of course you're a movie star etc. We all have regrets in life, but they just stay that way. regrets, simple dreams wishes which can never be fulfilled, so why immerse yourself in it? For the better or the worst, some people obviously have already been rubbed the wrong way, pun unintended. Time to focus on not rubbing friends the wrong way too. And to a much larger extent. A levels.
Vindicated.
I am selfish. I am wrong.
I am right. I swear I'm right.
Swear I knew it all along. ~ Dashboard confessionals - Vindicated
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