oxymoronic moods.
it was late afternoon.
it lasted forever,
and ended so soon.
you were all by yourself,
staring up at a dark gray sky...
Kinda reminiscent, the song lyrics. I still clearly remember myself perennially ponning Econs Classes just to spend some quality time alone.
My econs teacher was kinda getting worried that i was skipping lessons and decided to make an effort to find me. This was the ensuring conversation
I dunno why, it was just pretty addictive to just stay up there, alone, listening to some music, look at the dark grey sky and just stone, maybe emo abit. Watch the grss grow, wonder why things work this way and not the other and basically just ruminate about the most useless stuff in life.
Gosh, 1st 3 months was just damn great, being able to pluck out time to do stuff like that. I think sometimes i enjoy doing that more than playing soccer. O.o
ok la, this post is just to reflect the emo-ness running through my mind now. Like What i read off Yoke Ming's blog, its difficult to communicate with people. I mean like being really close friends and stuff. No wonder the chinese have this golden saying that 'finding a close friend is like finding gold.'. I dunno why, I just have this problem of communicating with people, like I can't joke around as well as Saran can, crap around as well as Alvin, be as charismatic as Jonathan, or even the kind of effect Benjamin has sometimes. I guess that's what makes them, them, and what makes me, me. Ironically enough, I'm not even sure if i prefer independence or company. Its these fine stuff in life that bother me, much more than stuff like homework and shit like that.
'vindication from the intricate facades you created'
this was initially created as a retort to a certain someone after some truths were dug up. but eventually i realised it applied to me in me ways than i could have ever imagined. I barely recognise myself anymore, sometimes i even go to school wondering what side of jason (of in the case of jonathan, TIM) I wanna show out. Its a process of self-discovery that i'm still embarking on, not really an odyssey but More of a painful, ardours journery fraught with perils which translate to immediate consequences, already i think i've pissed off a few people. and the best thing is i don't know how i managed to do so.
my god, emo emo emo emo emo emo.
Have you ever had a dream? A dream so real that when you wake up, you are unsure whether you the dream was a reality or you're dreaming now? When you wake up, does the dream seem so bizarrely fake that makes you wonder how the hell you ever thought that could have been true.
In retrospect, it was a dream. a real sweet fairytale. its innate ability to blind people is still something that intrigues me having fallen in not once, not twice but thrice. According to Mr Phillip Tan's analogy its like seeing a hole in the ground and stepping into it. not once. not twice. but 3 times. ouch.
Love songs suck and fairy tales aren’t true, And happy ending Hollywood is not for me and you......
For some apparent unknown reason, I abruptly woke from my blissful dream to realise my nightmarish surroundings. From heaven to hell. ok fine maybe that's abit of an exxageration. but it strikes you that no matter how much i do, no matter how much i try, she'll never ever notice me :D. Thanks to the people whom knew about my dream, disapproved of it silently but were kind enough not to burst my bubble in my face. I know none of you expected any hope for me, much less any progress. never thought i could make it, knew that it was destined for failure. You jumped at my 1st signs of cracking, but at least i owe you a thank you for letting the cold dose of reality splash onto my face willingly, albeit grudgingly instead of slapping me in the face although i'm not sure whether i preferred the former or latter.
Kinda felt like me against the world now that i think about it. It was always like 1 man against hunderds, maybe thousands. The crucial distinction was that that 1 man was always imagined to me Neo, then again we all know better than to believe that fallacy don't we.
Its amazing how our moods can change so quickly doesn't it. From the initial Europhia in the morning after not only alan Smith scoring his first Manchester United goal after that horrendous injury suffered against Liverpool but also the 7-1 blitz of Roma. that was truly shocking and awe-inspiring. Everything just went right for the players, nothing seemed to be able to go wrong on a day like that. To the eventual emo-ness in school.
I need to start embracing logic that's tailor made for people like me, and Lake. hehe, is you ownself admit de lo, not me haha! "Heck care attitude". Why bother so much? my next eye candy shall remain as one. nothing more. maybe less. At least the situation still can be salvaged. i think.
dammit, hist test today, and i have barely studied anything FUCK
Defense is paper thin
Just one touch and I'd be in
Too deep now to ever swim
Against the current
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
So let me slip against the current
Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
Swear I knew it all along
My hope dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption
EDIT: I think i shall remove the blog song la. Faciliate viewing of my blog, happy now sharon + stef :D
Sheila Eng, please prepare your phone. i may call u tonight (time of post) aha.
it lasted forever,
and ended so soon.
you were all by yourself,
staring up at a dark gray sky...
Kinda reminiscent, the song lyrics. I still clearly remember myself perennially ponning Econs Classes just to spend some quality time alone.
My econs teacher was kinda getting worried that i was skipping lessons and decided to make an effort to find me. This was the ensuring conversation
"jason where were you during econs lecture?"
"erm, i skipped it?"
"yes i know that, I wanna know where you went too. I went to the library, canteen and couldn't find you"
"oh haha, i was in the gallery."
"the gallery? doing what?"
"erm. .. thinking about Life, the Universe and Everything."
". . .ok now i know where to find you the next time you skip lessons"
I dunno why, it was just pretty addictive to just stay up there, alone, listening to some music, look at the dark grey sky and just stone, maybe emo abit. Watch the grss grow, wonder why things work this way and not the other and basically just ruminate about the most useless stuff in life.
Gosh, 1st 3 months was just damn great, being able to pluck out time to do stuff like that. I think sometimes i enjoy doing that more than playing soccer. O.o
ok la, this post is just to reflect the emo-ness running through my mind now. Like What i read off Yoke Ming's blog, its difficult to communicate with people. I mean like being really close friends and stuff. No wonder the chinese have this golden saying that 'finding a close friend is like finding gold.'. I dunno why, I just have this problem of communicating with people, like I can't joke around as well as Saran can, crap around as well as Alvin, be as charismatic as Jonathan, or even the kind of effect Benjamin has sometimes. I guess that's what makes them, them, and what makes me, me. Ironically enough, I'm not even sure if i prefer independence or company. Its these fine stuff in life that bother me, much more than stuff like homework and shit like that.
'vindication from the intricate facades you created'
this was initially created as a retort to a certain someone after some truths were dug up. but eventually i realised it applied to me in me ways than i could have ever imagined. I barely recognise myself anymore, sometimes i even go to school wondering what side of jason (of in the case of jonathan, TIM) I wanna show out. Its a process of self-discovery that i'm still embarking on, not really an odyssey but More of a painful, ardours journery fraught with perils which translate to immediate consequences, already i think i've pissed off a few people. and the best thing is i don't know how i managed to do so.
my god, emo emo emo emo emo emo.
Have you ever had a dream? A dream so real that when you wake up, you are unsure whether you the dream was a reality or you're dreaming now? When you wake up, does the dream seem so bizarrely fake that makes you wonder how the hell you ever thought that could have been true.
In retrospect, it was a dream. a real sweet fairytale. its innate ability to blind people is still something that intrigues me having fallen in not once, not twice but thrice. According to Mr Phillip Tan's analogy its like seeing a hole in the ground and stepping into it. not once. not twice. but 3 times. ouch.
Love songs suck and fairy tales aren’t true, And happy ending Hollywood is not for me and you......
For some apparent unknown reason, I abruptly woke from my blissful dream to realise my nightmarish surroundings. From heaven to hell. ok fine maybe that's abit of an exxageration. but it strikes you that no matter how much i do, no matter how much i try, she'll never ever notice me :D. Thanks to the people whom knew about my dream, disapproved of it silently but were kind enough not to burst my bubble in my face. I know none of you expected any hope for me, much less any progress. never thought i could make it, knew that it was destined for failure. You jumped at my 1st signs of cracking, but at least i owe you a thank you for letting the cold dose of reality splash onto my face willingly, albeit grudgingly instead of slapping me in the face although i'm not sure whether i preferred the former or latter.
Kinda felt like me against the world now that i think about it. It was always like 1 man against hunderds, maybe thousands. The crucial distinction was that that 1 man was always imagined to me Neo, then again we all know better than to believe that fallacy don't we.
Its amazing how our moods can change so quickly doesn't it. From the initial Europhia in the morning after not only alan Smith scoring his first Manchester United goal after that horrendous injury suffered against Liverpool but also the 7-1 blitz of Roma. that was truly shocking and awe-inspiring. Everything just went right for the players, nothing seemed to be able to go wrong on a day like that. To the eventual emo-ness in school.
I need to start embracing logic that's tailor made for people like me, and Lake. hehe, is you ownself admit de lo, not me haha! "Heck care attitude". Why bother so much? my next eye candy shall remain as one. nothing more. maybe less. At least the situation still can be salvaged. i think.
dammit, hist test today, and i have barely studied anything FUCK
Defense is paper thin
Just one touch and I'd be in
Too deep now to ever swim
Against the current
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
So let me slip against the current
Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
Swear I knew it all along
My hope dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption
EDIT: I think i shall remove the blog song la. Faciliate viewing of my blog, happy now sharon + stef :D
Sheila Eng, please prepare your phone. i may call u tonight (time of post) aha.
1 Comments:
you emokid la you. and i still cant seem to see your tagboard... HMM. lousy blog template! no actually, i think it's my computer... ohwell.
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