vindicated soul

“You know what the trouble about real life is? There's no danger music.

2011-10-18T17:51:00.000-07:00

I've always loved jackie Chan movies over people like Donnie Yen or Jet li and all. Its because his movies always have a very human perspective to it. he can be hit, he can be beaten up, yet its always a very upbeat tone to it. He's not superman flying around to save the world. he's just your everyday guy trying to be the change he wants to see in the world.

Love this video because its representative of life.

Life is not always going to come at you one at a time, or happily take turns before bitch-slapping you. Life is always going to take advantage of you at your weakest points, and the only thing you can do is to slap them back when you get the opportunity. and mantain that smile always. its the only thing that's going to keep your sanity. sadly.

the road to hell is paved with good intentions

2011-09-12T11:09:00.000-07:00

Wai Wan says

i'd say

get to know her better

because this might just be appearances

Wai Wan says

of course appearances are actually... what you usually get so yeah

seriously, without sounding gay in anyway, what would I do without your pearls of wisdom bro?

Rachel Hansen: Just because she likes the same bizzaro crap you do doesn't mean she's your soul mate.

2011-09-09T11:42:00.000-07:00

Its quite weird actually.

taking a long walk from chai chee to home just to clear my mind and not having you pop up at all.

how I've stopped ascribing great cosmic significance to a simple earthly event.

how i've obviously stopped beliving in fate. how there are no miracles. There's no such thing as fate, nothing is meant to be

is it cause I've actually (finally) grown up and matured..

or.

maybe i've been using the wrong head all.this.time.

Summer: Tom, don't go! You're still my best friend!

"There's something greater than the result, more lasting. A legacy. Inter won the Champions League but no one talks about them'

2011-03-13T05:47:00.000-07:00

The Guardian's Interview with Xavi Hernandez by Sid Lowe

a very wonderful interview of the best passer in the world. I find his honesty very refreshing, his disagreements with other styles of football. Some call it arrogance, but I think its more down to his character. And thank god for Barcelona for creating a such a sick team for my generation enjoy football once again. Football that's attacking, but not limited to dependence on certain players, but football, that requires the entire team to join in and play their parts.

and its ji sung park!

2011-03-13T05:10:00.000-07:00

honestly there are days when I wonder why I'm so touche. Or why I make such a big fuss about mundane stuff that I should be overlooking.

But I guess if there's one thing other that army's taught me, its that form and personality is important.

ceteribus paribus, the guy with a nicer personality always gets more crap to do, always gets the shit end of the job. Like how poor Park got put aside despite putting in such class performances for Man Utd in the predating Champions League matches.

Which is why I got more uptight than usual sometimes.

if you're like super busy or something, I have no qualms helping you, or even if you asked me to help you in a not so nice manner. But if you're totally free and you want me to walk over to clear something up, or worst still, clear something up because its your pet-peeve when I have a perfectly good reason why I don't do it...

like what a friend of mine:

DO YOURSELF LA.

but then of course, because they're a girl, you automatically win the argument. Being born with a pretty face is probably the first lottery a person can strike. and probably ONE of the most important ones.

really quite a good video to display park's abilities. He isn't the flashiest or what not. what he does have is supreme tactical awareness for off the ball runs as well as passes and a willingness to run. Most of the vids involve him making the middle passes. Honestly, if he had better dribbling skills, he'd be as good as iniesta, better pace, an OZil. But oh well, You can't have everything.

ijenun goodbye.goodbye.goodbye. narul ttona budi haengbokhae

2011-01-23T07:58:00.001-08:00

my mum likes to repeat this particular story. Like how when I was much younger, I'd kick up a big fuss and complain, cry or whine when guests were leaving my place.

In all honesty, I've never remembered if anything like that ever happened. Maybe I was too young, and the lonliness got to me.

Either way, I've realised growing through the years that I've always had this possessive streak. Like something is either mine, or not mine. All or nothing. Like sharing isn't an issue. Its been abit like that with friends apparently. Even normal platonic friends whom I'm slightly closer to cause we have some sort of a common topic, I'd get all weird cause they start talking to someone else. No idea how to explain it, maybe someday I'd take a module in psychology to understand it more. but yea. Which is probably why I push so many friends away sometimes.

I'd gather sometimes that I got all the 'bad' traits from my parents: the 'childish-ness' from my mum, and the obstinate lifelong values from my dad.

I really should be taking my father's advice: expect more than your own abilities from yourself, but expect less from others than your own abilities. like not whining at your team-mates for missing the goal and trying to score on your own instead.

There's somethings I believe in, and I hate when its compromised. It riles me even more when its caused by something or someone else, and I've to go back on those beliefs. It gets to me like nothing else, which is why I blow my top at it. I'm pretty patient with most stuff. but press the wrong button, and well., not so nice jason comes out.

but like I've been thinking, what does it matter to you? Nothing really. Much of the irritation's built upon that same possesive streak in me I guess.

I guess what I've been trying to say is that, maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems, maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets.. ok la not funny LOL.

maybe the close proximity's getting to me. I'm starting to take you for granted. And its not fair to you, really.

so... bye.

Food for thought: sometimes I'd wonder, considering I've got most of the bad genes/traits, what if I had an older or younger brother. What would he be like?

ijenun goodbye.goodbye.goodbye. narul ttona budi haengbokhae

2011-01-23T07:58:00.000-08:00

my mum likes to repeat this particular story. Like how when I was much younger, I'd kick up a big fuss and complain, cry or whine when guests were leaving my place.

In all honesty, I've never remembered if anything like that ever happened. Maybe I was too young, and the lonliness got to me.

I'd gather sometimes that I got all the 'bad' traits from my parents: the 'childish-ness' from my mum, and the obstinate lifelong values from my dad.

but like I've been thinking, what does it matter to you? Nothing really. Much of the irritation's built upon that same possesive streak in me I guess.

I guess what I've been trying to say is that, maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems, maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets.. ok la not funny LOL.

maybe the close proximity's getting to me. I'm starting to take you for granted. And its not fair to you, really.

so... bye.

Food for thought: sometimes I'd wonder, considering I've got most of the bad genes/traits, what if I had an older or younger brother. What would he be like?

new year's just an excuse to do the same stupid things over again hoping it turns out different this time.

2010-12-31T21:08:00.001-08:00

I was watching Grown Ups en route to Zurich when this post kinda just wrote itself out in my mind. If you haven't watched it, go watch, its hilarious as hell, and asks the same question most of us did back then, what we'd be like in 10 years time.

Let's not bother putting our crystal ball so far back with 10 years, let's just take it as 3 years, after the 2008, when Shawn, myself and James graduated from SR. I realised we never ever had a clique photo before, so this is the best I could do, looking back, I guess cause it was never an outright clique, more like a meeting of interests. We were all there because, someone else was there, and we just stuck.

The names included there are:

sally

james

lim woan

zhi xian

desmond ang

jason chua

alvana choo

patson goh

kaixiang

joel

eileen

lucas

tongpin

shawn

Yeow

wait, no andrew arh O.o weird arh

Alright, We'll just do some screening and the list becomes:

sally

james

lim woan

desmond ang

jason chua

alvana choo

eileen

lucas

tongpin

shawn

yeow

+ Andrew (why the fuck did you not submit a photo lol)

How we've changed in 3 years!

lets just start off with the boy who can't understand why we say he's changed: Andrew

I'm not sure about what Shawn feels. but I my impression is that you're trying too hard to impress us. Like you'd repeat stuff of your achievements until we acknowledge it, or at least Shawn acknowledges it. Which really doesn't matter. Its a little harsh, but like cause you're the youngest male in our group, sans the really not funny fat 'jokes', you'll be on the brunt of most of them. Its... life lol. and it rubs us off the wrong side sometimes. Then you start wondering why we're not happy with you, and you get oversensitive. Along those lines. Sometimes I get the impression that we pushed Yeow out cause of our attitude like that, so its not your fault entirely. maybe its us. Or maybe none of this actually makes sense lol.

KING.OF.GAMBLERS.: JAMES

After 3 years, its incredibly hard to contact you (runs in the family i believe, you're girlfriend is nevver around also lol). You seem to rank us lower these days also. But you still owe me some gym training. nope. I'm not paying you cheapo fuck. LOL

The.Kid.Who.Disappeared: Yeow

Dude, I'll be honest. I'm really peeved at how you couldn't even bother to drop a reply if you were even coming. I know for a fact Shawn even went to the extent to call and confirm that you weren't coming. Was it that hard to reply? You stopped sometime around mid year time, wayyy before A Levels, Its not like I was messaging you 1 month before A's or something, so you can drop that excuse. Seriously, if its someone else I'm still not that pissed, but you're like part of our clique, and you do this kind of act cute stuff. WTF right. If you're still interested to come for matches, drop us a message.

The.man.that.ord.same.day: Lucas

ok la. Hasn't changed much, just much harder to contact, and even lesser words spoken when we're together. Miss having him around with the clique I guess. That's probably the most sian part, cause 1 less person to drag into tease.

Valerie Lin:

Erm... would be cool if you started picking up phone calls. I actually expressed concern you'd follow a certain someone down that terrible BF abusing path, but you didn't. my bad! sorry!

now.i.ain't.saying.she's.a.gold.digger: Shawn Wee
honestly, You're the only guy that hasn't changed at all since the past 3 years. Maybe cause we've already established your good and bad already. Bad hasn't changed much. We still think you're spending too much, and we still got that nagging suspicion that you borrow money to finance that spending. You're still best to talk to when playing soccer cause you never want to lose, and you can change our games. Oh well, we'll see how the year goes la huh.

the.slut.that.never.changes.its.spots: Jason

honestly though, I think the one idiot that's actually gotten much worst is Jason. His fuse is even shorter now, he's stubborn as hell, and he has some weird shit code of conduct that he places on everyone and expects them to follow. like wtf seriously. He's becoming more and more self-centred, with lesser regard for his friends. Honestly I have no idea wad's wrong with me these days.

Honourable mentions go to Eileen: eh can you please come some outing some time soon and not pangseh like Shawn's birthday. lol.

and.. anyone know where that clown Alvana died too. Totally lost contact until she (in typical shameless alvana fashion) popped up to request for a Longchamp bag. terrible.

Annnnndddd that brings us back to Grown ups.

I honestly think that We'll only get back together like maybe 5 to 10 years down the road. Some abrupt meeting between 2 of us, we decide to plan gathering, everyone gets together, and we'll resume the clique. I really don't see us meeting up any more often this year, maybe sans CNY and soccer. Apart from that, I seriously, doubt we'll be seeing each other anytime soon ah I guess.

Still it'll be quite interesting.

Who'd be the over-achiever. Who'd be the underachiever. Will Lukie still be single. Who's first to have a kid. Will everyone grow fat while Jason becomes thin and handsome (LOL). Who drives the biggest car.

Yea, I'd say a meeting 10 years down the road would be pretty cool. Maybe we should all like bury some time capsule or something LOL.

alright, anyway. Happy New Year guys, let's hope its a better one. :)

just praying to a god that I don't believe in.

2010-12-05T04:38:00.000-08:00

the commentary from the 4th goal.

"there's a good footballer. Right foot or left foot, he doesn't care. That's what you do on your weak side and unsure. you set yourself, and you put your foot through."

I guess that's probably the most important lesson in life anyone can tell you. When you're unsure, just follow your gut, pick a spot, and you just barge through.

"mistakes are temporary, regrets are forever"

anyone who's known me for awhile knows this, and I admit it. I am a whiner. The worst of the sort. The idiot that whines and whines when he doesn't get his way, until he gets some form of recognition. I'd like to think that I'm better now but yea.

Which brings me to whining about ATEC. I know its not actually THAT bad for me, but still, when you've had surgery done for your knee, and you';ve been downPES-ed you really have no mood to go fight. Throw in the fact that someone actually promised you since April that you shouldnt have to be fighting it.

But anyway, whatever, that's that and its over.

just have to put my best foot forward, and run through this 4 days. And obviously, do it with the help of my favourite symbol of hope and faith. A one man's mission to put everything right because the world is just so wrong.

and a really really nice painting to describe everything.

sore throats?

2010-11-05T09:21:00.000-07:00

I guess its true what people say about facebook. It just reveals so much about you, even without you knowing sometimes.

a simple 'sore throat' status, garners all sorts of get-well messages and remedies. The interesting points are your final reaction, as well as the people who's replying you.

Its funny isn't it, how the people that you really just wanna cut off all contact with and ignore, are the ones who come out and offer advice, help, and whatever you need, but you'll just dismiss them and find them irritating.

I guess that's life, we're the invisible men, the idiot who's always around, but never seen. We can pull the moon down for you, yet all he needs to do is say hello.

and we're forgotten.

ehh i wanna have a dinner with you all before i go ah. i know all couples arh, but you still must go

2010-11-05T08:56:00.000-07:00

eh bro. i know abit bastard la, everytime got all this kind of outings all i play stunt. this and that. Yea, I can tell you guys trying your best to not make it awkward, but.... lol.

I don't really know how to explain this sometimes, but its just weird, its a reminder of your failings. This isn't like soccer where like, you know you can improve or something. This is just... wad de hawk. Its like army, I just have to suck thumb.

yeap, i'll admit I purporsely avoid outings, and I do it with a clear conscience, cause like what they say "you guys were the one that started all this trouble first"

fuck. i hate late night duties.

ko. jit. mah.

2010-08-19T03:46:00.000-07:00

I quit

My old ways

I quit ignorin’ all the things you say

Quit gettin’ high

Stayin’ out all night

I quit to keep you from lettin’ me go

You say it’s over, but I’m sayin’ no!

I quit! I quit! I quit!

But I ain’t givin’ you up

You got that somethin’ that I can’t get enough of

I’d give you anything

But I ain’t givin’ you up

Either way, you’re the fix

That’s why I quit! I quit! I quit!

Give me

Another shot

Forgive me baby for the things I forgot

I’ll never be

In your magazines

They got two reasons for leavin’ me flat

But I got a big one for takin’ me back

I quit! I quit! I quit!

But I ain’t givin’ you up

You got that somethin’ that I can’t get enough of

I’ll give you anything

But I ain’t givin’ you up

Took a hit, you’re the fix

That’s why I quit! I quit! I quit!

If you knew I could change

Would it change anything?

You saw right through

You knew and now you’re gone

Now you’re gone.........

I quit! I quit! I quit!

But I ain’t givin’ you up

You got that somethin’ that I can’t get enough of

I’ll give you anything

But I ain’t givin’ you up

Either way, you’re the fix

That’s why I quit! I quit! I quit!

That’s it! That’s it! I quit!

But I ain’t givin’ you up

You got that somethin’ that I can’t get enough of

I’d give you anything

But I ain’t givin’ you up

Took a hit, you’re the fix

That’s why I quit! I quit! I quit!

(I quit!)

I quit! I quit! I quit!

(That’s it! I quit!)

That’s it! That’s it! I quit!

(I quit!)

I quit! I quit! I quit!

swweeeeetttt dis-po-sition..

2010-08-18T07:16:00.000-07:00

how is it sky sports can keep coming up with great adverts like this which leave a lump in your throat.

shawty shawty shawty shawty

2010-08-05T03:47:00.000-07:00

ever get the feeling the whole world's ran on and moved on while your're the only one still counting sheeps, chasing your own tail?

just gonna stand there and watch me burn.

2010-07-01T07:17:00.000-07:00

These days everything's just so... tiresome.

maybe its just how the pace of life has changed and everything, how everyone's increasingly involved with their own things, or maybe its just me cutting myself off from the rest of the world.

Having said that well, still have to thank some people for like trying their best to not exclude me off totally, but at best, its still feeling weird i guess. And I guess the thing I have to mention, on behalf of 2 other idiots is that... mahjong isn't a deus ex machina for us all to stay.

I find myself doing more and more 'stunts', coming to things late and all. I duno, everything's just weird these days. And the injury that's been around for like more than a month isn't exactly helping my mood cause soccer's out of the question, and just at a period where I'm actually free-ing up time to actually enable myself to soccer more. fuck.

Isolating yourself away from the world just seems to be my most natural inclination these days, I mean, SNSD videos + Family Outing + a little strong heart thrown in here and there's pretty much filling my life up these days. Maybe I don't really need to find someone to understand me. maybe being a loner's just fine as it should be.

and well, I guess part of my mood's down to the fact that tomorrow's plans aren't going to be executed out like everything was planned out to be, but in any case, big shout-out to the lot who really tried their best ala Desmond ("kao, can last min pua stunt on me cancel cage") Ang and James. In any case, I'm just gonna apologise in advance for something.

You guys should probably know me well enough by now, I'm not the best at showing my emotions, I'm still better at silently dropping off my heartfelt homemade card/present at your doorstep, something i'm learning isn't worth it these day cause no1 really cares.

but i digress.

What i wanna say is that, tomorrow, no matter what you guys give me for my birthday, you probably just ellicit a pretty muted response, or even get the feeling you guys got me something i didn't want and i'm not appreciating it. Its not the case.

Its just that I really don't know how to put out my thanks other than saying "thanks" with a really sheepish smile. Even if you gave me that $240 boots i was showing shawn the other day, some adipure street shoes or even that diesel fuel for life spray and all, it won't matter, what matters really is that you swell people took time off to celebrate and actually pout thought into getting something for me. and i think you for that.

for the record though, i'm actually expecting something weird/stupid, ala boxers or even some weird alarm clock which plays on some fat pun.

I

2010-05-14T11:46:00.001-07:00

yea you had a breakthrough, and now i'm just bad news for you.

2010-05-14T11:39:00.000-07:00

someone once asked me whether , retrospectively, I'd ever regretted my stint in SRJC.

I guess, its still a no. Given the choice, I'd probably make that same decision to transfer back from TP to SR.

Yea well, things may not have gone according to plan, but scratching off the dirt on the stone, I guess I gained much more. I learnt alot more about myself, and met people who've made a huge difference to my life and taught me important lessons about this world, vis a vis the good, vis-a-vis the bad.

I guess, looking back, this is probably one of my regrettable moments. I think I blogged about this before, but well, never hurts to remind yourself of your past mistakes, so you'll man up to it, and pick yourself up from where you've fallen...

AVE MARIA!

2010-05-06T07:26:00.000-07:00

I seriously can't believe things could actually come 1 big round and turn around to give me 1 tight slap.

I'm going nuts in here seriously, and the only thing that's saving me is seriously vids like this.

I wanna go home, sit down, turn the air con on, and just get on with my "destiny"

screw the crap and everything else around.

football. bloody hell!

2010-04-28T08:40:00.000-07:00

ok i'm writing this post on the back of a prediction that Barca wins 2-1 or 3-1 against Inter Milan tonight, but I've got no way of buying the bets so if that score appears...

knnccbwtf wad de hawk :D

anyway i was reading this article on soccernet.com about the German National Team.

http://soccernet.espn.go.com/world-cup/columns/story?id=777596&cc=4716&ver=global

And I guess what really struck me again, were the last 3 paragraphs.

Because some observers have suggested that Low, if all of what I have said above is true, should not have hinted he might after all change his mind when, two weeks ago, he rather unexpectedly said: "We will name the squad on May 6. And in due time, we will announce our decision as regards Kuranyi."
These observers argue it would be very cruel on Low's part to suddenly raise Kurayni's hopes if he has no real intentions of calling him up. Well, may I remind these critics that we have a World Cup coming up. What if Low tells Kuranyi there's nothing doing and two days later Klose and Podolski break their legs?
Put differently, the national coach has to have a loophole in case circumstances arise that force him to go with Kuranyi after all. He has to play it safe. Is that ethical? Is that honest? Don't know. It's football.

actually. its just the last sentence.

There are actually times when i sit back and wonder if like everyon once in a year or a couple of years, the top people from different departments come together and decide HMM... lets do this.

Let's pick something out randomly. like fashion. I mean its like every few years they'll suddenly go like "oh.. old is the new new" that sorta thing. And like how some people can tell you like "oh the current trend is this and that and what not". Seriously there are times when I wonder if like the top designers come together and like go

"ok you slutface, we took your idea to go with that terrible idea of bangs for girls. this year, I'm deciding and i wanna give all girls nice straight long hair"

ok so maybe fashion isn't your cup of tea. One thing that's always got me really really wondering about was things like stocks. How do stock markets 'crash'. Does a computer pick it to crash? Or does someone in the company like say, ok the stocks are gonna crash. Ok, so I read abit more here and there and its controlled by consumers behaviour. Which just makes things even laughable. Someone hears a piece of news that this company is screwed, he spreads it, everyone sells. now this company is really screwed, and there's nothing the company can do about it? And then we've seen countries' economies fail over stuff like that. Looking at it from a faraway perspective, isn't it hilarious? Who suffers the most, the workers of the country, the people who probably never knew what stocks were, never bothered to buy, probably could never afford to gamble them on. "when the rich wage war its the poor who die."

maybe its just me and too much comic books. But there are times when I do see why anarchy still exists as a very plausible idea to certain people. Too many people are just suffering for that small percentage of people's comfort. And it doesn't help that laws really look like they're meant to fund this cycle further.

What's there left to do then? break out of the cycle, leave someone else in the lurch?

I guess sometimes the truth of the matter is, like law of the jungle states, the fittest survive. which means there'll always be people who suffer. Then why come up with like morals and stuff, when its just so... hypocritical.

I don't know, these days, I've learnt alot about life I think.

seriously in life there's only probably 5 important things you really need to know. How to suck up, how to deflect blame and eliminate your competition, how to train yourself, how to bide your time. lastly, and probably the most quintessential of them all, how to spot the right opportune timing. Is that ethical? Is that honest? Don't know. It's life.

anyway, thought I had to share this article with you guys, since i'm finally off Kpop and looking at soccer again (yea i hear the sigh of relief).

I'll be honest, we'll never know what truly went on behind the scenes, so we can't really comment these days, so i won't go there. But truthfully, I always liked him as a player, always gave his all, not the most technical guy around, not the most handsome one playing, not the tallest around, but he played with passion. Carlos Tevez played liek he wanted to play, gave his all, and well... he had a good temper too. But in all honesty, I see Berbatov contributing more to the team, which is why I was glad to see tevez go, and am happier that he's doing well in Man City.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-1265545/CARLOS-TEVEZ-INTERVIEW-EXCLUSIVE-The-Manchester-City-striker-football-family-foes.html

anyway, in this interview, he addresses a couple of things. That infamous welcome to Manchester Poster.

now i know you guys probably won't read everything, but this is probably the best part of the entire interview, I'm not gonna spoil it for you, so its bolded in black.

Carlos Tevez plays like a man who doesn’t like an easy ride. He enjoys a tear-up, right? So let’s put him on the spot: You’ve played with Messi, Rooney and Ronaldo. Who gets to play alongside you in your dream team?
‘OK … let me think … Wayne Rooney is the best in the world. It was a privilege to play with him, I will always feel that way towards him. When we played together with Cristiano, the three of us, this was a great moment in my career.’
Rooney is better than Messi? ‘In his position, Rooney is the best. Messi is the No 1 in his
position. He is too much, right now. The ball sticks to his feet, who can take it from him?’
'Rooney and Messi make my dream team, but not Ronaldo'

But you can only pick one of them.
‘It’s my interview, I want to pick both of them. It’s my dream selection. OK, I play Rooney and Messi, with Tevez, of course. In a 4-3-3. We would score some goals together, eh?’
No Ronaldo? ‘Well, we can’t all play in the same team, can we?’

just so you know.

2010-04-25T08:23:00.000-07:00

how has your one year... no, 2 years been?

bet ya was expecting to find something here weren't ya!

story telling

2010-04-25T07:23:00.000-07:00

to be honest I'm a really really huge fan of "the man who can't be moved" and so I'm pretty critical of his cover of it.

anyway, I recently completed Ninja Gaiden Sigma 2 and was just quite appalled at my sheer lack of interest in it. I have no idea why seriously. It was kinda the kind of game that I'd have enjoyed tremendously. seriously. lots of hack and slash sword action. cool ninja moves. like what? 7 different weapons. unlimited shruikens/arrows?

I swear this had my name written all over it.

anyway, i completed it, but well, i was never really into 'into' it. Its like, half way through the 3rd stage, i was just playing it cause I haven't gotten any other fun games on my PS3 yet. I mean, I was more excited about winning my races in NFS: Undercover than... killing ninjas and weird monsters and what not.

wad.de.hawk. like seriously.

I couldnt believe how bored i was, and this coming from a guy who enjoys watching people play their rpg games just to see the story line.

So after some trouble shooting. I guess What I'm a fan of, is a story. Just like Jay Sean (now you know what that horrible cover video was about eh lol.)

I've always preferred the asian MV's because they usually featured a story line of some sort, like Jay Chou's and stuff. I always hated performances videos because if i wanted to see them sing it properly, I'd go to watch them live. Especially some songs which obviously aren't your typical happy-go-lucky songs, songs about break up, songs with a meaning behind it, I always thought having a good story in the MV always helped. and before anyone jumps at videos of run devil run and gee appearing on my website and shooting it as 'not having a story line' i did mention it has to be like... songs with a meaning in it. as much as i love the song Gee. There's absolutely no meaning in it.

maybe I should start playing Final Fantasy, considering it has a good storyline, then again i'm oh so lazy to go and train and everything. So much work.

My mantra is that you should n ever have to exercise too much brain cells when you're gaming. What's the point of playing a game to 'relax' if it requires you to spend the same, or even more energy, than when you're working. Hell I'd much rather spend my time on like, trying harder at soccer or something.

Then again, there's probably alot of games who believe the converse is true... so yea.

in any case, good luck to the fellas going in tomorrow!

i gotta step outside these walls.

2010-04-25T07:03:00.000-07:00

I know it looks really weird that i've not posted for so long only to come up with something like... this. About SNSD. But well, its kinda cause something about them struck a chord in me too. in a way.

Oh well, I guess it was pretty inevitable that they had to grow up some day. I'll always miss the Gee period though. Still pretty pissed with the decision to make yoona look weird with bangs. And also that lame idea to make this song one of their hits. Absolutely ridiculous. Just more fodder for the anti-fans to shoot at them. Oh well, maybe that's why I'm not a manager of any sort, minus the occasionaly SMS FC matches.

anyway, I recently just realised I'm turning 20.

yea. I know laggy but yea. turned 20 with no idea of what's going on in my life really. I guess that's the shitty part when you turn in 2 prime years of your life into somewhere, and the worst part is that you're in limbo land. All your plans grind to a halt cause the next turn on your path could throw you somewhere weird. And well, because of the nature of your responsibilities, there's really alot of scenarios that could pan out and screw up in your face.

Then again, this could just be my excuse.

I mean there are times when i sit down and wonder what the hell happened back then. I can go on and give all sorts of reasons and excuses but i guess it really just goes down to 3 words really.

Time to sit down and have a serious think through about this soon I guess.

why does it always rain down on me...

2010-04-22T02:19:00.001-07:00

Like I've mentioned earlier, I'm beginning to hit abit of a kpop craze at the moment, so just bear with me.

Its kinda funny in a way, cause like I recently started to have look through my old songs and found one of my favourite Rain/Bi songs which was Love Story.

I started watching the MV out of sheer boredom having been stuck in a certain place thanks to...

and so i chanced upon an interview he did, with eng subs which was really really funny.

and i guess well, the last parts of the interview kinda came as a shock. I'll spoil it for you cause i know no one reads my blog these days. and even if you bother to, close to none will bother watching the entire thingie so i'll just speak it for you.

You now how people always imagine like stars are rich and everything, this and that blah blah.

ok fine, so maybe i'm that little bit more naive than others, but still, its hard to believe the hard work that they go through sometimes. As for rain wel, I'm kinda impressed at the crap he had to take when he was younger and stuff.

and you kinda wonder. can people really be that poor? I mean, this is South Korea, it isn't like some 3rd world country, and you have people who have to stoop to such levels?

I guess that lists as yet another reason to be a 'fan' of rain, after his dancing, his acting in full house (omg, that was a super entertaining show), and well his crazy training in Ninja Assasin (no salt no sugar no spices for 7 months? might as well kill me)

Which kinda makes you think once in awhile, is suffering the father of success? Or is it the ambition in the person that determines it?

don't know, guess that's something for another day.

anyway, quote of the week. nope its not from me. neither is it from rain (surprise surprise!)

its from his dad LOL.

woman should look at a man's ambition, not ability. The ability he has now may disappear sometime,but if you choose one with ambition, you'll have the joy of growing up with him.

I guess apart from that we should throw in the terms "money" and "status" and "looks" in too. But lets be honest with ourselves. It sounds like those crap quotes certain people try to use to 'motivate' some really really unmotivated people who are forced to do soemthing for erm.. a couple of years (if you get wad i mean).

this falls into the category of quotes that make a whole lot of sense, but fail miserably because they strike too directly at the point, and the people that really ought to hear it will never be able to accept it.

소원을 말해봐 Sowoneul Malhaebwa

2010-02-28T02:25:00.001-08:00

this post is full of surprises actually.

I'm still quite surprised that it took me so long to get this post up.

I haven't quite overcome the shock of the identity of the person who unwittingly introduced this to me. Seriously. last person in the world I thought would be a facn of this bunch of girls.

Worst still, at the number of people in my medical centre who's heard of it and have it in their iTouch.

Lastly, the number of their videos i have in my iTouch. I must be going mad. (ok lar not that many actually.)

but seriously, what's not to like about 9 sweet nubile young things singing some retard song that you don't understand but is so viciously addictive.

GEE GEE GEE GEE BABY BABY BABY GEE GEE GEE GEE BABY BABY BABY!

I guess it helps that they're quite cute, although I haven't gotten down to deciding who's the cutest partly cause I still have problems identifying them.

In all honesty though, it doesn't really matter lar. Lets just accept them as 9 cute girls dancing along to some addictive track tha you just want to shake to, even if you're not drunk. Which is quite refreshing because like most bands and all that are singing about sex, trying to act like sluts all and here you have 9 jokers looking (ever since that edison chen sex scandal exploded and the once very pure and innocent gillian chung became exposed as some... i duno what ya wanna call her, I decided there's no way we can safely describe someone as of a certain type, so they all look like a type.)pure and innocent and ready to be nice to you.

ok ok fine. enough of my monarchial thoughts and my barely concealed veiled concepts of how girls should be like LOL.

I think i suddenly remembered this cause Lukie was playing non-stop another (not so) addictive track called lemon tree. And I remembered having my own addictive track. and i started humming it over and over again.

But well, its a pretty happy sounding song so at the moment its still my cheer-me-up song. lol.

NOTE: Oh yea, I realised from my interactions with this friend of mine who's learning korean that, most girls don't like SNSD. Too act cute (not that they need to cause their so cute LOL. ok ok I'll stop) I think, is their reasoning. So if you don't like it, well... aiya DON'T JEALOUS OF THEM LAR. :P

apart from that. wait Backstreet Men are coming to singapore tonight! crap, why do I have to book in dammit. I wanna relive my childhood again dammit.

what if you had missed?

2010-02-02T20:50:00.000-08:00

I don't like to give away my entire post in the 1st few words, but really, its a smoke bomb. I've been having alot of practise on smoking people to chao keng.

anyway, I got inspiration from today's post off a soccernet article.

If it helps, take a look.

Anyway, like I said, I got inspiration from this post, but really, the jigsaws to this post came earlier actually. I was reading off soccernet about Madrid's win over some club that I can't remember. And they described one of the goals as an 'inspired backheel from guti to Benzema to score'

Now, just to make a couple of things clear. I've never been impressed with backheels. Mainly because most people do it in when its awfully obvious. Its the same with those 'no-look' passes that Ronaldinho's famous for. Its like you pass, then you loook the other way, who the hell are you trynig to fool? Your team mate?

So when I read about this 'inspired backheel' I was really curious if it was on of those generic backheels that I've seen from Arsenal so many times that I have no idea why it still works. I'll describe it. Player A passes from the midfield to the striker who holds the ball and another defender on the edge of the penalty box. Player A runs past the striker. Striker backheels. WOW! And the next day it appears in all sorts of compilation videos.

But what I saw was.. quite frankly breath-taking. Like thos chipped goals from dozens of metres away. Like that Berba-god skill for Ronaldo to score last season. I'm a fan of last minute improvisation to serve things up for a platter. And well, ok enough of me running my mouth, Lets show you the goal.

Now you get what I mean eh. Anyone can do tricks with enough practise. But to improvise a simple trick out at the most crucial time is a whole different story. Which is why R80's still my Idol even if he's fat overweight and critics say he's over the hill blah blah.

I know the Soccernet article claims that Guti never looked back and all, but its actually quite clear that around 1:07 before he gets the ball, he's looked back and seen benzema make some sort of a run. The rest is probably instinct I guess.

Which I can attest to, because like most amateur players, I find it easier to do a flip flop than to dribble with my head up, or do anything with my head up when I'm in posessino of the ball. Most of the time my passes are directed by a mixture of instinct and a knowledge of where my team mate will be having played with him so long. I once improvised a toe punt to the other flank while under pressure, and one of my friends just came up and went like "eh you tyco one right, you anyhow zham hit someone." maybe. But well, when you've seen and sort of memorised where everyone is on the pitch, even in a game of posession play, things like that aren't impossible, sure luck is a factor in denying you your glory, for example if the wind blows it slightly off course so that the defender can steal it. But apart from that, I'd still thank my instinct and memory for the pass reaching the intended player.

Which is why I like playing with this team-mate of mine whom I shall not reveal for fear of inflating his head. Sans to the fact that he likes to hold the ball too long for most of our liking (clue #1), he's actually one of my favourite players to play with. Because when I get the ball, I know more or less where he is, the kind of runs he usually makes and 9 times out of 10, it reaches him, the time where it doesn't probably occurs because its the 20th (HINT HINT!) minute and the lazy bugger's too tired to run (clue #2). lo, sorry mayte (CLUE #3) I couldnt help it :P

but that's beside the point really. The article also pointed me out to this movie, Looking For Eric and Just for your benefit, I've even sourced out the scene which the article describes.

I know the whole thing's 2 minutes long, but quite frankly the quote that I'm pointing out is "you have to trust your team mates. always. if not we are lost."

Now I know its weird to hear this from me. Who wants to hear from a guy who never got chosen for the school team (regardless of the standard of competition of his batch), who's technique can't even be called decent, who probably isn't at your standard of play, give you comments and criticize you. Which is why I've steadfastly stayed away from the path of telling people what they could be doing better from my outsider's point of view.

But the thing is, I've had the priviledge of watching other teams play before, other school teams play. I've had the opportunity to play with some of them before. And that gives me some intimacy of knowledge of how things work.

I recently got down to have some soccer training. After hearing much about sergio ramos-es, guys with ronaldinho like skills and all sorts of wonderful performances, I finally had an opportunity to see the team. I'm not going to comment much, cause like I said, its probably beyond my capacity. But I did speak to 1 of the players about something I noted and his response was "aiya, how to pass to them, they also duno what they doing."

people that you let yourself trust will disappoint you,& they will leave, & they will break your heart.
not everyone will come to appreciate you.
but it’s alright, cause there will be ppl who actually do.
eventually you’ll forget how important they once were, but you won’t really; you’ll just get better at pretending.
cause that i...s what happens. and no, it’s not okay.
and no, it isn’t fair. reality sucks.

Trust (1. reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.) , is a terrible act of faith (2. belief that is not based on proof: He had faith that the hypothesis would be substantiated by fact. ). In my book trusting someone is akin to gambling. Same difference. I got the aforementioned quote from someone's facebook comment, and I do believe its from another person's blog.

I've always wondered why the people that you trust the most, are the ones who break it the most easily as well. I guess its because we throw out trust too blindly sometimes, staking out faith in them in something we believe that we see. Because we're only human, we see what we want to see. Now pull this context even further, probably the worst thing about this all is that these trust issues often occur when you trust some guy/girl to reciprocate this that blah blah. Which really makes things worst, cause you start seeing things that were never there, and no... becomes yes and all.

and quiet frankly, the worst thing after trust has been broken, is that you give yourself excuses to 'not trust anyone anymore' only to fall in at the sight of the next fella that ticks half your resume list. We take it out on the people who trust us, who give us their faith in us. We blow them away, and try to hide in out own world about how that fucker bastard us, when really, it was a mis-act of faith on your part, so stop blaming others, look at yourself, did you set yourself up for all this?

That's that, and all, bu sometimes I see posts like this screaming for sympathy, and sometimes you wonder, putting that victim in the position of the offender, would the victim have done the same? Probably. Hypocriscy is so prevalent its not even funny these days (don't worry, I'm not referring to you, slut.). You hear someone complaining about this guy dumping her and stuff, when like just half a month ago, you hear the same girl doing more or less exactly the same thing. A year ago (gasp, has it really been a year already?), I knew this girl who was complaining bitterly about how this guy more or less broke up with her thru and sms, and how he wasn't speaking to her and stuff, how like people shouldnt give the cold shoulder just cause someone else likes them. Next thing I knew, she was doing the exact same thing to another guy, and even before he had even confessed or anything. poor guy? nah. stupid boy. fuck head. dog. fat fuck. (okay fine, the last 1 was uncalled for.)

So where does this put us?

You just learn that everything you've learnt in school about right and wrong is bullshit. Eveything depends on your friends, your status, your power. If shit happens to you, its because you let it, its your fault, stop whining. Because everything in this world is so judgmental. history is spelt HIStory, victor makes the rules. The world isn't fair, it was never designed to be. Humans just tried to give themselves an excuse to be 'above the rest' and made it that way. For life to work, things can never be fair. Just look at your fingers. If they were all of the same length, you would have problems with the most basic function of your hands. to lift things up.

So what does this leave us with? people end up trying to hurt others before others can hurt them. Everyone builds up more walls. People become more hypocritical and...

what kind of a world is that?

I don't know. But the next time you feel you've been betrayed, how things aren't fair, if someone's been a bitch/bastard. Think about it this way, did you put yourself up to it? Take responsibility. Because no one really cares about what you say. Especially the one's that you want so badly to hear you. The ones that you care about will never bother with you. And the ones who really care for you.... you really don't care about them.

on a sidenote: I recently peeped at choy's blog. It was filled with the same philosophical thought-provoking stuff that I love and used to write. I guess sometimes I'm just sad that itshard to find people who can chat with you about such stuff. These days, all people are interested are is like having fun and all that, over sitting down to chill and talk and.. discuss stuff about the world. I know it runs on like a broken tape-recorder, but you used to offer some opinion, and conversations used to get somewhere. Nowadays with some, it just ends as a do or die, or that same 1-liner comes out and the conversation ends, with no food for thought or anything.

and I hate NS, for turning everyone i see into mindless robots, for instilling disdain in everyone i know towards the actual events of the world. For cutting me away from the world. For making me so apathetic about everything these days.

I know my appearence doesn't suggest it in anyway, but deep down, sometimes, I just like independent movies like these, because they are just so much more thought provoking.

Its like how I find myself gravitating to indie music these days too.

anyway, probably the greatest movie quote I've seen since the matrix one (which is terribly long)

I am not a man. I am Cantona.

Note: woah, I just realised this is an awfully awfully long post. lol. I think alot of you all will probs be too lazy to read it already lol.

and i thought 'hey! you know this could be something."

2010-02-01T19:08:00.000-08:00

Finally got my act together and put up a song on my blog.

I'm a firm believer in music's ability to influence the effect of something. How music accentuates the effect of something. My favourite Youtube video is still the one with the Champions League with the song viva la vida playing in the background.

in short music helps witht he overall enjoyment of whatever you're doing, IMHO.

Which is why it took me such a long time to figure out a song that would add and not irritate.

I jumped from all sorts of songs, new divide, it ends tonight, blah blah.

most of it didn't come with an acoustic, stripped down version, and i've never believed that blog songs should be anything but acoustic, seeing as how a blog's really for showing others your deep inner feelings without any attempt to hide or make up anything.

and unfortunately kings of leon didn't do an acoustic cover either, but i overheard this song on some commercial on channel 5 and well... liked it.

so well. this is it. the new blog song and well. hopefully it doesn't turn out as irritating as mad used to be.

anyway. speaking of using somebody. I could really use somebody's help (pun totally unintended) to see if they can procure this boots in any way from anywhere. I'm willing to pay a max of $200. The thing is, after what i believe to be their absolutely disastrous attempt to bring in another Ronaldinho inspired boot where i believe i'm the only idiot to attempt to buy it, Singapore stopped shipping his new series, which is a real pity cause his new designs come in much better colourways.

Anyway, the point is, they don't have it in Singapore, I've asked my friends who have friends in overseas to help me check, and well if you do have friends overseas too (especially USA), do help me check it out. thanks a bunch!

its nike tiempo ronaldinho dois I believe. US 9.5

cheers!

the good. the bad. the... hawk?

2010-01-23T10:25:00.000-08:00

[Andre 3000] 1,2,3,4 My baby dont mess around because she loves me so and this i know fo sho but does she really wanna but cant stand to see me walk out the door dont try to fight the feelin cause the thought alone is killin me right now thank god for mom and dad for stickin together cause we dont know how [Chorus] heeeeeeeeeeeey yaaaa heeey ya heeeeeeeeeeeey yaaaa heeey ya heeeeeeeeeeeey yaaaa heeey ya heeeeeeeeeeeey yaaaa heeey ya [Verse 2] you think u got it ohhh u think u got it but got it just dont get it cause theres nothing at allll ah allllll ah allllll ah alll ah allllll we get together ohhh we get together but seperate's always better when's theres feelings involed ah alllll ah allllll ah alllll ah allllll If what they say is "nothing is foreverrr" then what makes then what makes then what makes then what makes then what makes love the exeception so why-o why-o why-o why-o why-o are we so in denial when we know we're not happy here [Chorus (Andre 3000 Talking)] (Ya'll dont wanna hear me you just wanna dance) heeeeeeeeeeeey yaaaa heeey ya (dont want to meet your daddy) heeeeeeeeeeeey yaaaa (just want you in my caddy) heeey ya (dont want to meet your momma) heeeeeeeeeeeey yaaaa (just want to make you comma) heeey ya heeeeeeeeeeeey yaaaa (im im im just being honest) heeey ya [Andre 3000 (Guys)] hey! alright now alright now fellas (yeaaa) now whats cooler than being cool? (ICE COLD!!) i cant hear ya i say whats..whats cooler than being cool (ICE COLD!!!) Alright,Alright,Alright,Alright,Alright,Alright,Alright,Alright, Alright,Alright,Alright,Alright,Alright,Alright,Alright [Andre 3000 (Ladies)] Ok now ladies (yeeaaaa) We gon break this thing down in just a few seconds Now dont HAVE me break this thing down for nothing I wanna see ya'll on ur BADDDEST behavior Lend me some sugar i AM ur neighbor Ah hear we go now Shake it sh shake it Shake it sh shake it Shake it sh shake it Shake it Shake it sh shake it Shake it like a polaroid picture Shake it sh shake it Shake it sh shake it Shake it sh shake it Shake it sugar Shake it like a polaroid picture [Andre 3000 talking] now all Beyonces and Lucy Lui's and Baby Dolls get on the floor u know what to dooooooooo u know what to dooooooooo ahhh u kno what to do [Chorus] heeeeeeeeeeeey yaaaa heeey ya heeeeeeeeeeeey yaaaa heeey ya heeeeeeeeeeeey yaaaa heeey ya heeeeeeeeeeeey yaaaa heeey ya heeeeeeeeeeeey yaaaa heeey ya heeeeeeeeeeeey yaaaa heeey ya [continue to fade]

11 members coming together to form an orchestra to play a happy-go-lucky song like Hey Ya.

Its like the 13 of us coming together to catch up, have a friendly kick-about, sms each other on the pitch, and basically act like idiots.

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?v=wall&gid=290112943382

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9BR6YoFv_NQ&feature=related

i know i could never face, someone that would look like you.

2010-01-22T23:09:00.000-08:00

yea, beneath my whatever exterior and whatever impression you had of me.

I used to be a fan boy of 5566. And yea MVP Valentine was my fave show when i was... sec 2?

*runs*

well, its not like it hurts that much anyway.

2010-01-04T08:35:00.000-08:00

I recently found out I could watch heroes on my program again.

And so I started watching Season 4.

And well, more often thatn nto these days, I tend to do alot of weird things unconsciously. Things without actually realising it today.

Like today, I threw a guy's boot into the locker when I was supposed to replace the ball.

and the best thing was - I don't remember doing anything except locking up the 'cage'.

Its not the only thing that's happened recently. I think I'm going mad.
why is it that I have a penchant for making myself look like an idiot, an ass, when I'm dealing with alsa-fu**ing-goffs. dammit.
maybe I'm going nuts. MAybe I've got some cool power too.

your love makes me stronger, your hate makes me unstoppable.

2010-01-03T07:22:00.000-08:00

this pretty much sums up my entire 2009 apparently.

ok, I think this is pretty vague, even for me, so gimme a couple of secs to put everything into perspective for you.

I had a wager on Liverpool to clear the -1.5, meaning they had to win by 2 or more goals against Aston Villa.

I woke up and watched the match at around half time, and was treated to a spectacle of how to NOT pass the ball properly, how to not start an attack, and how to not score. Albeit, on a really piss poor field in really snowy conditions

For 45 mins in the 2nd half, all i saw was really no evidence that either side could score (let alone knock in 2 goals), and I was beginning to root for villa to knock one in, just for kicks and just out of spite against liverpool.

Then Torres comes in and scores in the 93rd min with an insanely lucky deflection which brings a perfectly weighted ball into his path for him to strike home.

Aston Villa 0 - 1 Liverpool

Like I said, that's kinda the story of my 2009. Life just dangling a carrot infront of you, then pulling it away just as you're about to grab it making sure you land in the most god-damned embarassing way ever. Life just teasing you bit by bit carrying you up to the optimal height... so you can hit terminal velocity before you hit the ground. Life throwing you lemons and the lemon juice squirts into your eyes when you try to make lemonades.

Starts of with that stupid wart on my foot at the start of the year, in an all awkard position, so I could like soccer abit still, but not be able to do it @ 100%.

Then entering NS, where I blew my chance at command school because the wart got worst and well, there was that whole crazy rash incident.

then having to walk with 1 feet arch-ed because of the wart, and oh my god-damned goodness don't even get me started on the therapy for removing the wart which required 5-6 sessions of the doctor using a blade the cut the the skin on top of the wart until blood came out, before spraying liquid nitrogen on the wart directly, on to the bleeding very vulnerable skin.

Then after being a medic, getting a really really shit posting to the most jia lat medic posting, a platoon medic in an infantry platoon. Still barely being able to walk properly and all that. Forced to go outfield and climb mountains all despite the injuries.

Fast forward to the surgery, which means that I haven't properly indulged in soccer for the whole year, not been at 100% for the whole year. Which sucks by the way. I rather be fully fit, than get the mc, seriously lol.

Well, I guess that's 2009 in a flash for me, removing all that bullshit issues about the girls which seirously blew out of proportion, minus the 623s 624s the hypocritical sluts and everything. That was a pretty forgettable 2009.

Ok maybe that was a little too 'cup half empty'.

I guess it was an eventful 2009 with many lessons to be learnt, remembered, and mistakes not to be committed again.

As the new year arrives, the inevitable happens and I feel like your typical run-of-the-mill Liverpool Fan with their "THIS IS OUR YEAR!" expectations.

Let's hope this year really produces something fruitful out of it.

anyway, I was looking thru the horoscopes for 2010 for those born in the year of the horse, and I took a peek back at 2009 too. Apparently 2009 was the year where I was supposed to have tao hua yun, or more luck with girls, and 2010 is supposed to be shitty. If 2009 was considered good, it'll be interesting to see how 2010 can top 2009, let alone be worst. Maybe I'll get to see more hypocrisy from girls like this year, maybe more knifes behind my back... (stares at Limwoan :D)

anyway, here's to a better 2010 for everyone!

you think you're special, you do.

2009-12-31T02:36:00.001-08:00

*USES CUTE FONT*

This is hard, because I'm trying to squeeze everything into two sentences only, but as they say a picture says a thousand words and I've put in alot of NICE PICTURES, of which majority of the photos feature a certain V PRETTY girl, who TOTALLY QUALIFIES in my CRITERIA FOR A GIRLFRIEND as she is GUAI AND CAN APPRECIATE MY COOKING (THRU CRITICISMS), AND WHOM I WANTED TO WRITE MORE ABOUT BUT I PROMISED TO WRITE WITH ONLY 2 SENTENCES.

ok for the second sentence:

Its been really funny, there have been times where I've actually hoped to like sorta 'bump' into you at like say a party or something, see what your reaction would be like, would there be a hello, or like just the usual walk away and stuff, and the best part is, I just seem to keep missing you by 1 step, 1 day, and well... its hilarious. Whatever it is, 2009 is ending, I just wanted to say... sorry, and hopefully, you're doing better than how i know you used to be doing. =)

(this does not count as a sentence because technically its me thinking aloud but DAMMIT IS THIS POST HAPPY OR WHAT! I BET EVERYBODY'S FINDS IT INTERESTING AND NOBODY'S GOING TO FEEL EMO ABOUT THIS POST AND WANNA CRY AFTER THEY READ IT!)

this time i'm a let it all come out, this time i'm a stand up and shout

2009-12-29T03:45:00.000-08:00

someone was telling me the other day that I need to have more faith in myself.

everydya, some assclown will come and put you down a little, throw in a little insult or two, you gotta pick yourself up.

You need to believe in yourself.

CAuse if even you do not believe in your own abilities, who's going to?

I think in life, what alot of people need to learn, is to put forward their own best side. Learn to walk their own path, and find their own style.

Its like soccer, blindly following someone else's style just because it's effective isn't going to work, because he has something you don't and that's something that isn't going to change naturally, why not work on something else and bring forth your own sort of value.

VVith the extreame crueltie of Shylocke the Iewe towards the ſayd Merchant, in cutting a iuſt pound of his flesh

2009-12-29T00:11:00.000-08:00

how do you apologise for a mistake you made.

how do you atone for the sins you committed.

a pound of flesh for each sin?

ok maybe I've been watching too much Seven Pounds, featuring Will Smith. But it was... pretty emotional how he went about trying to vindicate himself.

Okay, I confess I lose the inspiration for this post, maybe there was never one.

I guess what this movie taught me is really that, there's more to life than just the materialistic things we're fighting for, its a reminder of how we should take a step back every once inawhile and see maybe how we can make the world a better place. Helping people out.

And well the movie before I watched was 28 Days Later. Of which there was a part which feature a group of Army people. There was a scene in which the Commander of the small army platoon made the decision to lure females over so that some of his soldiers hade something to live for. To fight for, and not just fighting to prolong the inevitable.

which gave me more food for thought. That was 1 man, making a decision for practicality, for survival, over morals and rights and all that.

And I guess if you drag that further, I've always been rather irritated with those irritating journalists who run into palces like Iraq trying to find faults with
soldiers over abuse and all that. I mean, take a step back from your high horse, take a gun and go intot hat god-damned war zone. Put yourself in their shoes, before trying to act like some saint.

My Medic Commander-in-charge was involved with some medic missions in Iraq before and quite frankly, the stuff we saw from the pictures he showed us, and the conditions he mentioned to us, seirously, you could totally understand why people went bonkers inside. Apparently, no1 spends more than 5 minutes in the toilets, because that's the only area that's not bomb-proofed and well, no one wants to have that risk of getting your assed bombed to kingdom come whilst you're happily taking a poop. So yea, go inside there, spend like a Tour inside, before you start acting alll high and mighty while people fight for your ass out there.

Speaking of high and mighty, anyway (this is becoming 1 hell of a long and weird post where I ahve no idea where I'm going either), my facebook has recently been like flooded with this girl who's complaining about some friend (i presume by the words she's saying) who's back stabbed her or something. I've had my run in with that girl before, over stuff which I thought she's been over sensitive before and what I really wanted to say was: Stop being so fucking materialistic. Stop trying to believe that every single thing that people say to you is an attempt to put you down. It reeks of a lack of self-respect and very low self-esteem. Stop trying to act like some god-damned princess and yes, liking someone for purely their looks and money is materialistic, no need to make excuses for it.

oh yea, I guess you can tell, my 'exile' at home has really put me into a mood where I have so many thoughts flying in all directions, which I cannot put into a single coherent flowing paragraph. That sucks. I guess this is their way of 'emotional blackmail' to make you not 'chao geng', and all that. I still can't believe I was checked on X'mas Day to see if I'm at home. Seriously, sometimes I wonder if there's anything wrong with some people. Look just because I get an off-pass from running around jungles and all that doesn't make the recovery any easier, not being able to run, jump, soccer is bad enough already.

oh well, shrugs. life goes on. Just have to make the best of the shit you've bene given. When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade.

I recently had a friend who wondered aloud if seeing 11.11 was a sign that someone is thinking of you.

The same friend went on to ask me if it was real -.-"

ok lar kidding lar. But in all honesty, this kinda stuff to me is like religion, if you believe it, its true. If you don't, then... nope.

I mean.. does this mean that if i look at my clock and i see 6:23pm AND 6:24pm, that 2 jokers are thinking about me?

obviously, not that it makes a difference in anyway anymore.

boy you better prayyy.....

2009-12-20T09:12:00.000-08:00

I can understand why girls go GA-GA over this boy. He's got that soft spoken pretty boy charm, reminds me of anthony LOL.

anyway, it was interesting to hear this interview. ok fine partly because its about soccer boots.

if there's one achilles heel of mine its boots.

I can hold out the temptation to drink, buy clothes, gamble and everything.

but everytime i see boots I'll always wanna buy it. Although I'll be honest I'm not very sold on the new technology. I still think the Laser II's shot shield technology makes much more sense LOL.

in any case, like what yeow says. should focus on getting myself back in action instead of looking at boots. LOL

Robogirl #94 SAKURAZAWA!

2009-12-20T09:09:00.000-08:00

She's got you high and you don't even know yet
She's got you high and you don't even know yet
The sun's in the sky, it's warming up your bare legs
You can't deny your looking for the sunset

She's got you high and you don't even know yet
She's got you high and you don't even know yet
It's the search for the time before it leaves without you
Have you lost your mind or has she taken all of yours too?
What's this about? I figured love would shine through
We've lost romance this world has turned so see through
Open your mind, believe it's going to come to
Romance alive and hope she's going to tell you

She's got you high and you don't even know yet
She's got you high and you don't even know yet
The sun's in the sky, it makes for happy endings
You can't deny you want that happy ending

What's this about? I figured love would shine through
We've lost romance this world has turned so see through
Open your mind, believe it's going to come to
Romance alive and hope she's going to tell you

She's got you high
She's got you high
She's got you high

She's got you high
She's got you high
She's got you high

What's this about? I figured love would shine through
We've lost romance this world has turned so see through
Open your mind, believe it's going to come to
Romance alive and hope she's going to tell you

What's this about? I figured love would shine through
We've lost romance this world has turned so see through
Open your mind, believe it's going to come to
Romance alive and hope

She's got you high!

Following excerpt taken from the book Saving Charlie by Aury Wallington. I don't own anything blah blah blah, just borrowed this part of the book cause... it meant something.

"sometimes I feel like sakurazawa" he said.

charlie scrunched up her forehead. " Who?"

"He was a kidnapper who tried to blackmail Robogirl in issue 94"

"Oh, of course." she tossed him a strange look, but didn't stop him.

"robogirl was in love with him - she's always falling in love with the wrong guy - and he broker her heart," he told her, warming up to the story. "It was so awesome - she didn't want to kill him, ' cause he wasn't one of her actual targets, so she turned her arm into a trephine - a surgical blade - and jammed it underneath his eyelid, lobotomizing him."

"that does sound awesome." She was actually beginning to look interested now. He took that as an encouragement, and pressed on.

"sakurazawa spent the rest of his life in a psych ward, stumbling around in little circles, hugging and kissing this old sock puppet, 'cause he thought it was her."

Charlie looked confused," Wait - why do you feel like that?"

Hiro shrugged, suddenly a little embarassed. "It sometimes seems like everyone else in th entire world is having relationships and falling in love and just... moving forward, you know? And I wandered off the path somewhere and am just stumbling around in little circles, like sakurazawa."

I'm not sure if anyone managed to catch this post before but I do sincerely hope not.

if you did well. forget it.

because quite frankly it reeks of disgust, of a loser trying to hold on to what's not rightfully his.

and that ain't me anymore.

I am no gentlemen.
I can be a prick.
And I do regret, more than I admit.

i wanna be praised for a new perspective.

2009-11-26T21:33:00.000-08:00

This is the year you build a 90-minute engine. The year you control the game. The year you get clinical. The year you leave your marker in the dust. The year you train to become the complete player.

this post is quite late actually, never actually got myself down to getting it posted up but well, here it finally is.

There's a couple of people I would like to thank specially.

the group comprising of James, Shawn, Limwoan, Yeow and Alvana (shocks that you came actually. then i read your blog. cheh, is sunbian come one la.)

James for the Chocolate cake that I nearly destroyed with my puke, but managed to save it, and actually ate it for breakfast (my god hospital that 1 cannot call food please.) and actually making the trip down, cause I know unlike the rest you didn't have a private car fetching you down.

ShawnWoan (easier this way), for the chips all, quite nice, I'm gonna buy it again next time LOL.

Yeow and Vana for making the trip down, and sorry to yeow, for having to go home himself.

shout outs to a couple of people also.

Aunty Torres, for like actually remembering that I had surgery and dropping a message of encouragement.

Bounce, same thing even though it was 2 days late.

Mrs Gerrard, for constantly trying to hammer in to me that I should fully heal before playing soccer (comeon, that will never happen lolx.)

Ok that wraps it up...

kidding lar.

appreciation goes out to Annabelle Shorts (who ironically wasn't wearing it on that day) who ran from his home to city hall, then wasn;t sure of where SGH was, so took an MRT down, and stayed till late while i puked and puked and puked.

And to the wonderful nurses there too, even though it took some time before they mentioned that they had some medicine to help with the puking. That probably made up for the best part of conversation for the entire day.

James: eh the nurse say that arh got medicine to stop the puking.
*puts hand on my shoulder*
James: but i got bad news. Its an injection

*I slowly look up at James*
*lift up my arm with all thos 16G and 20G needle holes*
James: oh ya. I forgot you immune to needles already
*cue typical james laughter exposing his 2 front teeth*

hhaving said somuch I guess I should explain the hypocritical slut thing.

I mean, maybe... I think too much. Maybe I expect too much from 'friends' sometimes. But seriously, i'm someone you'll call to confess a problem and stuff, I do quite believe that that signifies a certains tanding in our perfectly platonic relationship
and therefore, like if i drop a call, or a message that sounds like I'm worrying about something. I do hope you like reply. Even at least dropping a message the next day wouldnt have been bad. Like no reply at all? Please, forget to reply is the lamest shit ass excuse I've ever heard. It just shows how much you respect the person you just stood up.

besides. I get it. I'm just like some toy, you call upon when you need help all. And at the slightest sign that things are ok, getting back to normal, you throw us all away.

hypocritical slut. :)

then again that could just be me over reacting and stuff, maybe that's why I've never been able to cultivate a good relationship with girls. *shrugs*

You come along because I love your face,

2009-11-23T08:18:00.000-08:00

someone mentioned that i was beginning to sound quite shameless 'announcing' my injuries on facebook.

so i thought i'd try somethign me subtle. like posting on my blog which i know no one reads anymore caue of a levels and stuff.

i'll be honest, i have this slight... bad feeling. its like how i felt the night before A's and the day I got my medic posting. except well... this time i have no one to call la that's all.

in any case well...

at least i can look forward to being able to run properly and stuff. something that's not been possible for nearly 4 months.

surgery begins at 1230. i'm going in at 0900.

block 7. level6. ward 76

'everything that has a beginning has an end Neo.'

I sure am glad this is going to come to an end :)

chrondal damage in the patellofemoral joint of the left knee with early arthritis

2009-11-20T20:48:00.000-08:00

anthro-scopic chrondoplasty KIV cartiliage repair.

whatever the fuck that is.

oh well, at least I've finally managed to get a diagnosis on what my 'fucked-up knee" is all about.

Basically My kneecap's off position so more weight is applied on one side. Throw in all those wierd stuff we do in infantry, my cartilage's been worn out on one side and there's internal bleeding as a result.

so the doc's gonna cut some muscle, realign the kneecap, insert some cells to help the growth of the cartilage and well throw in 2 day stayover at SGH, a 3 months mc... and I should be good to go.... soccer. :p

Now evadne's claiming i talk to them to increase my guest list at the hospital well its not true, I'm just trying to increase my 'get-well-soon present' list. hehz

seriously though. 3 months without exercise. I think i'll probably end up committing suicide not being able to play soccer for 3 months, and just rotting around at home. fucking depressing.

I think its time to start the "buy-jason-a-PS3-fund"

they say bad things happen for a reason.

2009-11-20T09:20:00.000-08:00

Sorry for all the times that he lied
And left your heart hangin'
I can't imagine what that feels like

But that was another place
And that was another time
It's not fair to blame me for all his crimes

Just for a minute give me a chance
Let me inside just for a minute
Baby just for a moment
Let me prove I'll do things right

Let down your guard
And show me your colours
Don't fight it anymore
Show me you're with me
Open your arms
I'm not like the others
So don't fight it anymore no
What will it take for me to make you see
I'm not your enemy

Funny on the day that he left
I wasn't even there
It's become a nightmare

But I'll never rest till you give your all
I'll take nothing less till I hear happily ever after
The end

Just for a minute give me a chance
Let me inside just for a minute
Baby just for a moment
Let me prove I'll do things right

Let down your guard
And show me your colours
Don't fight it anymore
Show me you're with me
Open your arms
I'm not like the others
So don't fight it anymore no
What will it take for me to make you see
I'm not your enemy

How do you expect things to get any better
If you keep me on the sideline
Don't you know there's a million things I wanna do
But you gotta meet me halfway you gotta try

Let down your guard
And show me your colours
Don't fight it anymore
Show me you're with me
Open your arms
I'm not like the others
So don't fight it anymore no
What will it take for me to make you see
I'm not your enemy

I've been quite lazy to post up and all, especially nowadays cause i know no one's really bothering to look and stuff. but there have been certain events recently that have been really, really, really pissing me off.

I know I'm a Singaporean and stuff, but sometimes the "hey lets jump on the bandwagon and diss (insert random poor victim)"

It started of a couple months ago of an old... erm.. 'friend's' facebook link that I saw. Now, I know this guy personally, his english isn't say like damn jia lat hopeless that kind, but its not exactly british cambridge standard either. So I was terribly disgusted when he was happily commenting and laughing at the Ris Low videos when I was sure that placed under a similar situation, he would probably end up sounding worst.

I read off a New Paper article sometime ago when one model who 'claimed' to know Ris mentioned that they're both Chinese educated from young, which thus explains their discomfort at speaking english and, ergo, the poor pronounciation. Having grown up speaking to his parents a mixture of very broken english (i still help my father write hs emails to some of his superiors sometimes because those arrogant fuckheads have targetted him saying his english was impossible to discern), hokkien to his grandma who couldnt speak anything else for like his kindergarden till early sec school, and chinese to almost everyone in both sides of the family tree, I can honestly tell you its not that easy to make the transition. Its not impossible, but yea, very difficult. And lets be honest half of the cockanathans who were out there laughing at the absymal (ok fine I mean, it was really quite jia lat) state of her english, ow many of you can honestly speak good, prim and proper english.

So that was that. I mean the Ris Low saga was irritating enough, but what really motivated me to come out all guns blazing was how Singaporeans reacted to the Singapore Team's 3-1 loss against Thailand.

Now this has really been more of a build up than a sudden explosion with some of the really irritating comments actally being the straw that broke the camel's back.

It started off a couple of months back when at the Singapore versus Liverpool match there were a couple of Liverpool fans who actually put up the banner "THIS IS ANFIELD" at the stadium. I confess I was really really disgusted. I mean ok fine, I'm a man utd fan, so this may sound biased on my part. But serously, cheering for the away team more than the home team? Even in Thailand, where Liverpool have a really huge following, the home fans still cheered for their National Team over Liverpool. I mean.. where's the nationalistic pride man.

Now I've never been a fan of Noh alam Shah, I think that guy's a prick and have seriously no idea why everyone is turning a blind eye to his antics on the field. what 'committed play to his country', 'full-blooded tackles' and all that bullshit is just a very nice way of saying 'hooliganism on the pitch'.

But I totally agree with him on his reasons for leaving Singapore to go play for Indonesia. I mean, who te hell wants to play in a half filled crowd.

But the response after the loss was quite frankly, disgusting. I agree they played poorly showed a severe lack of ideas, but they did bring up their performance for sometime (after alam shah got subbed off for Khairul amri. just had to mention that) to show that it wasn't that hopeless. They way some Singaporeans were talking its like the National Team have been on some 30 match losing streak and this was the worst of them all. I clearly remember one letter in the newpaper saying "how dare that Ridhuan complain about being treated like the away team (i'm assuming this is about the liverpool singapore match), when he was running around like a headless chicken".

The best analogy I can think of for all of this was how my mum used to like scold me after I did abdly for a test or cane me after I failed my exams in primary school. Or when I didn't get my A. I bet everyone's felt that before, and I'm pretty sure that's like how the National Team feels man. No one likes to get kicked when their already down.

Which is why I put my faith into action. No one gave Singapore much of a chance against Thailand in the return leg. Hell the Odds were 1- 5.5 Just so you know how bad that was, Sunderland to win arsenal is only 1- 4.5 yeap it was that bad.

anyway i put my faith in singapore and threw in a $10.

:D

Whooaaa
What happened to workin it out)
We've fall into this place
Where you ain't backin down
And I ain't backin down

So what the hell do we do now...

so things have come down to this eh. us being mad at each other for god knows why. Seriously, I'm what.,.. you're enemy now la?

(100+) days of androids/wierd band name/ spelling names backwards/numbers

2009-10-22T19:08:00.000-07:00

Tell me can you fly. Your just a stranger but you caught my eye.
Tell me you'd sacrifice, and spend your last breaths under city lights.
But now i'm on my own

I've got a questions stay true to form, cuz all your answers are doin dances around the room I won't be ignored.
Should I be writing on how you left with him last night when your head was spinning not to metion how when i unlocked the door, you were lyin naked on the bathroom floor.

Your the reason that im thinking this over
your the reason that i can't get any closer
whens the last time you could feel your heart beating
whens the last time you felt anything at all

These are the warning signs that I failed to see
send out an S.O.S they'll never save me

Your best deception was never good enough
you know you lost the touch that it takes to make my heart race
these are the answers we both hid from so long when we knew that the ending would come from this song

Your the reason that im thinking this over
your the reason that i can't get any closer
whens the last time you could feel your heart beating
whens the last time you felt anything at all

These are the warning signs that I failed to see
send out an S.O.S they'll never save me

I need to break you down.
and never see your face again

Before anyone thinks I've done the impossible and turned into a liverpool fan, I haven't. Its just that the video has 2 things that I like. A very good striker that I still feel is "the one that got away" as well as a very nice song that I'm becoming addicted to.

I've always had this dream liek when i grow up one day, I'm gonna make a movie, or maybe an MV for some band, to like, you know, lash out at all the bastards and bitches i've met in my life. All the no good ass-clowns that I have to thank for making me a better man, and teaching me to not be the naive little boy i was.

Author's Note: any resemblance to the dead or alive in movie is purely coincidental. all characters and plots are purely fictional

especially you 7427432 623424 25724633

bitch.

actually... you know, on second thoughts, you're actually not deserving of the title. that actually should belong to... her. so lets do this again.

Author's Note: any resemblance to the dead or alive in movie is purely coincidental. all characters and plots are purely fictional

especially you 9664 9839464

bitch.

I've been having some Off-In-Lieu's so I managed to take some time off and catch up with some things. Like I Love You, Beth Cooper and (500) Days Of Summer. Annnnddd... well more food for thought I guess.

Beth Cooper was just a hilarious comedy including some heartwarming times about a girl who's frightfully aware of how she's just a superficial girl who unfortunately attracts them same type of guy who in the end all just wanna bed her, or show her off as a trophy. *coughnehnehgirlcough* *slaps desmond for sniggering*

500 days of summer was more... food for thought I guess. In part because the boy's mentality was pretty much like mine. Naive. Wide-eyed. Oblivious. Believing in all the bullcrap such as fate. true love. the one. blah blah.

summer was pretty wierd i guess, and in some ways, she resembled this friend i used to know. The no strings attached, lets just go around have fun do crazy sstuff kind of girl. I had a friend who once told me the same thing whilst she was complaining about how this guy was thinking too far ahead when all she wanted was just to have fun for the moment. And I thought only guys thought that way.

I guess this becomes a cycle in a way. People begin to fear putting too much hope and effort into one person, you start divesting your 'investments', more hearts get broken along the lines, the broken-hearted start doing the same.

ouch.

I think I'll just stick to soccer.

kidding.

I've been hearing so much of relationship problems these days its not even funny. I guess if there's one thing that's important, its that the relationship has to start 50-50 at first. If its never been 50-50 the gap is always just going to widen, and things are never going to turn out ok. One Sides just going to put in mre effort, while the other looks like their just there for the ride. Its just like what I'm seeing now, and that's why I'm telling you to just suck it up and break up. You're seriously more deserving of someone who'll bother showing more appreciation and not just take you for granted. anyone who can tell you what she said to you in your face is seriously not worth as a girlfriend. I remember having a conversation with you last year when you voiced out one of your fears. And yes I'm telling you now, you're becoming EXACTLY like michael. yea.

and well.. on to myself a little.

I know most of my friends know the type of girl I go for, as far as looks and all are concerned. But well, a quick look back on my part during that 1 hr bus 65 journey got me thinking what exactly attracts me.

Anyway, I've been finding myself more and me attracted to all these 'indie' stuff. I think subconsciously 've been gravitating towards movies like that, arty stuff and yea, music too.

Probably waht i want is...

guai(no clubbers/smokers please)
someone who can read me (there was one who knwe when i was bullshitting and when i really meant it, it was scary)
someone who knows how to appreciate stuff. (including my cooking LOL)

yea, i know. you can cut the hypocrisy with a knife.

yea and before i forget. I just had to rant at the fucking shop that closed at 6:55 so I couldnt buy my bet on AC Milan to post a win over Real Madrid DAMMIT.

and well.. he's still my favourite footballer and... here's why. How the fuck anyone has the audacity to pull of tricks like that on a field is beyond me.

"you know what sucks? Its when everything you believed in was a lie"

wake up and smell the roses fuck head.

I think I'm everything you hate

2009-10-17T04:51:00.000-07:00

This post is kinda one week late cause 'school's been taking up so much of my time I'm left with 1 day per weekend recently.

I kinda think the lyrics are redundant but... oh well. who cares hehz

I remember what you wore on the first day

You came into my life

And I thought hey

You know this could be something

'Cause everything you do and words you say

You know that it all takes my breath away

And now I'm left with nothing

'Cause maybe it's true, that I can't live without you

Well maybe two is better than one

There's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life

And you've already got me coming undone

And I'm thinking two, is better than one

I remember every look upon your face,

The way you roll your eyes, the way you taste

You make it hard for breathing

'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away

I think of you and everythings okay

And finally now, we're leaving

And maybe it's true, that I can't live without you

Well maybe two is better than one

There's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life

And you've already got me coming undone

And I'm thinking two, is better than one

Yeah, yeah

I remember what you wore on the first day

You came into my life

And I thought hey

Maybe it's true, that I can't live without you
Maybe two is better than one
There's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking

Oooh I can't live without you
'Cause baby two is better than one
There's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And I've figured out with all that's said and done
Two, is better than one

Two is better than one

over these past.. like 6 months well, there's been ups. there's been downs. And there's been alot of songs going on in my head when i wake up in the morning. Well, the song that's been playing like some broken record is really this, as I was telling some of my friends.

I'm beginning to get a little sick of it cause I'm breaking out of that 'look around at girls' shell

but its still a really nice song.

that would have been wad i would have typed last week (ok plus some other stuff, but my memory really fails me.

anyway, i know there are a couple of chocoholics out there among my circle of friends. This is my deal for ya all.

My friend happens to have some friend who's friends... you get the idea la. Anyway he's offering me a list of chocolates that he can get cheaper to help out charity and stuff and well, thought i might just share it with ya all la.

Item Description RRP Special Price Quantity Total Amount
Maltesers Pouch

Your browser may not support display of this image.
A long time favourite, MARS MALTESERS© are wonderful melt-in-your-mouth chocolate covered spheres, with a light honeycomb centre, and a rich milk chocolate coating. A proud product of Mars Incorporated©. $17.70 $10.00
Your browser may not support display of this image.

Goldkenn Swiss
Praline (30s)

GOLDKENN© Milk praline chocolate in gold wrapping make an implicit statement to soar and fly high.

Choice of Flavour : Milk Chocolate or Dark Chocolate
$33.30 $15.00
Your browser may not support display of this image.

Ferrero Rondnoir
A unique combination of a dark chocolate cream surrounding a “black pearl” of fine dark chocolate, within a delicate, crisp wafer topped with crunchy dark chocolate morsels $24.00 $19.00
Your browser may not support display of this image.

Snickers Funsize (400g)

Snickers the all time favourite - consists of peanut butter nougat topped with roasted peanuts and caramel, covered with milk chocolate $12.80 $9.00
Your browser may not support display of this image.

Lorenz Crunchips Paprika Germany imported - Crunchips are made of whole fresh potatoes, carefully cut, roasted golden-brown, with a sophisticated flavouring and specially sealed for long lasting freshness. $3.00 $2
Your browser may not support display of this image.

Ritter Sport
Ritter Sport chocolate in a variety of assorted flavours! (:

Choice of Flavour : Marzipan, Whole Almond, Cornflakes, White Whole Hazelnuts

Other flavours available on request.
$3.45 $2.50

Your browser may not support display of this image.

Hershey’s Kisses

The unique shaped bite sized chocolate is always a hit amongst the young and the old.
(Comes in bags of 559g)

Choice of Flavour : Milk Chocolate or Special Dark
$19.70 $12.00
Your browser may not support display of this image.

Reese’s Peanut Butter

The all time favourative chocolate candy with peanut butter filling $19.70 $15.00
Your browser may not support display of this image.

Nutella

Nutella is a delicious hazelnut spread that contains quality ingredients, such as skim milk and a hint of cocoa. $9.00 $5.00
Your browser may not support display of this image.

Ferrero Rocher (200g)

The classic combination of roasted hazelnuts and chocolate.

Enough said.
$11.90 $7.00
Your browser may not support display of this image.

Skittles (200g)

Chewy fruit flavoured candy.

Choice of Flavour : Wildberry or Sour
$5.90 $4
Your browser may not support display of this image.

Kinder Beuno

Kinder Beuno is loved for it’s hazelnut cream filled wafer with a chocolate covering. $2 $1.50
Your browser may not support display of this image.

Belgian Seashells

Belgian chocolate seashells are made with rich Belgian chocolate outer shell filled with creamy hazelnut praline filling. $11.90 $7
Goldkenn Cuppacino

Your browser may not support display of this image.
The GOLDKENN CHOCOLATE CLUB® is a Swiss speciality made according to a traditional recipe. These fine chocolate confectionaries are created out of a delicately rolled crêpe filled with an exquisite praline cream filling and then individually packed. A wonderful gift to offer or to share with friends. (300g) $35 $28
Your browser may not support display of this image.

Gummy Bears
Comes in 2 packings

Haribo gummi bears come in 5 flavors: raspberry (red); orange (orange); lime (green); pineapple (clear); and lemon (yellow)

Or

Cola Breeze
$2.70 $2.50
Your browser may not support display of this image.

M & M’s (350g)

Comes in Original, Peanut Butter and Dark Chocolate Flavours $11.50 $9.00

*The chocolates are 2 to 4months from box expiration date. However, due to the high quality of chocolates that have been imported from the world’s best, these chocolates can be consumed a further 3 to 6 months upon the expiry date.

So if ya guys got any questions you know how to contact me. if you wanan get it, drop me a msg either email or sms. I'll get back asap on wednesday, when i book out.

cheers!

all the bullshit, you put me through.

2009-10-08T05:40:00.000-07:00

[Verse 1]
Hey, Dad, look at me
Think back, and talk to me
Did I grow up according to plan?
And do you think I'm wasting my time
Doing things I wanna do?
But it hurts when you disapproved all along
And now I try hard to make it
I just wanna make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for
You can't pretend that I'm alright
And you can't change me

[Chorus]
Cause we lost it all
Nothin' lasts forever
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late
And we can't go back
I'm sorry I can't be perfect

[Verse 2]
I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't care any more
And now I try hard to make it
I just wanna make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't stand another fight
And nothing's all right

[Chorus]
Cause we lost it all
And nothin' lasts forever
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late
And we can't go back
I'm sorry I can't be perfect

[Bridge]
Nothing's gonna change the things that you said
And nothing's gonna make this right again
Please don't turn your back
I can't believe it's hard just to talk to you
But you don't understand

[Chorus (2x)]
Cause we lost it all
And nothin' lasts forever
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late
And we can't go back
I'm sorry I can't be perfect

I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life
And I thought hey
You know this could be something

I guess the sadest thing in life, is knowing what you're doing is stupid, retarded, and totally opposite of what you really are, but still doing it. Like the selfish motherfucker that you truly are.

He knows it. And isn't ashamed to admit it.

It started with a casual flick of the calendar, the epiphany of a friend's birthday. and the cycle goes on and on, and the sudden realisation of the events a year ago.

on the phone till 3am giving ridiculous advice over mundane stuff which really didn't require that amount of time. A quick 30 second decision would have sufficed. But.. he just didnt wanna let it go. There was that... want to keep it going. Even if there was some meaningless GP paper the next day.

even thought it was supposed to make him unhappy.

even though.. this is just a ridiculous post that he knows should be ditched..

he silently admits it was one of the highlights of the year. One of the better memories... and in a year where everything's been real shitty, its these little sad memories keep on playing in his head. unfortunately.

steady feet don't fail me now.

2009-10-04T02:42:00.000-07:00

there are times when i wonder why week after week i return.

only to get more and more bad news.

and in all honesty the news i get sometimes is wierd to the point that I think its bullcrap.

I've been aske if I have a girlfriend, and like been told I'll ave girl problems and I'm like, lets take things one step at a time first. what girl!? Show me the girl 1st, then we'll worry about the problems.

but like I said, week after week I return for more.

"is it fear, or courage that compels you fleshling" ~ Megatron

I do wonder, once in awhile, if ithere's an innate fear in every man to fear the unknown, and thus you create something to believe in to fight that fear.

anyway, I just spent $49 to extend the life of my R10 Boots.

But yea, I think I've found its successor.

I've always liked dthe classic timeless look. Motivated in part cause I'm too lazy to get things changed, hey if it ain't broke, why fix it? Bad habit I guess. Makes me nostalgic, hold things on for too long. I'm the kinda guy who buys 1 pair of socks and expects it to last for like... as long as i can remember. nuts i know. but yea lolx.

in any case... I digress. the boot is $210. Probably can get it for $190. Which means It'll take 2 months to save up. haix.

here's praying for a quick recovery for the match next sunday.

326

2009-10-01T05:11:00.000-07:00

"we came twenty mins early n we are number 326. Lol. We buy sportband for ye and keane la" ~ Sent: 23-Sept-2009 11:02:01 +6591700778

"the story is. after waiting 5.5 hours its still bad news. Ye still owe me one though"
~ ~ Sent: 23-Sept-2009 16:05:01 +6591700778

"knnccbwtf wad de hawk. told you the number is damn suay one. hg how ah?" ~ ~ Sent: 23-Sept-2009 16:10:12 +6591760886

"KAN PUA NAH BEI CHEE BYE YE ARE IN BODOH. PUCHIKONG. POWER NUMBER" ~ Sent: 23-Sept-2009 16:27:06 +6591700778

Whilst I was spending the day at HSBC TreeTop Walk's Jula(dunno how you spell it)-tong Tower, getting raped by mosquitoes, 2 cockanathans were doing their friend a favour by queueing up at a nike store to get last minute entry into the Human Race.

there's nothing much i can do..

except...

*takes out more joss sticks*

*lights joss sticks*

*kneels down*

"TEE GONG BO BI. BO BI ORH KEE A.K.A DESMOND ANG XINGYAO JIO DIO A*******E"

*places joss sticks into urn*

*leaves some offerings*

*walks off*

excuse Lower Limb activities for 14 days

2009-09-27T08:35:00.001-07:00

i've been getting an avalanche of sms-es whining to me about stuff.

wad no1 to throw it all to etc.

and kinda makes me wonder... what if I become like that when i grow up.

then i realise... i don't need to grow up to become like that. I already was like that.

fuck. now i realise wad a pain in the ass i must have been. I'm not gonna apologise or wad, cause i dun think you're gonna see this but well... no wonder you couldnt take it, and ran away.

oh well. that's that. but this second chance. I'm not gonna throw away again. not on my life.

tell you already. send her for cooking classes, send her for driving lessons. TRAIN HER!

2009-09-21T05:25:00.000-07:00

Do you remember when we didn’t care
We were just two kids that took the moment when it was there

Do you remember you at all
Another heart calls

I remember when we stole the night
We’d lie awake dreaming til the sun would wash the sky

Just as soon as I see you
Didn’t I didn’t I tell you

As deep as I need you
You wanna leave it all

What can I do
Say it’s true
Everything that matters breaks in two
Say it’s true
I’ll never ask for anyone but you

Talk to me
I’m throwing myself in front of you
This could be the last mistake that I would ever want to do
All I ever do is give
It’s time you see my point of view

Just as soon as I see you
Didn’t I didn’t I tell you
As deep as I need you
You want to leave it all

What can I do
Say it’s true
Everything that matters breaks in two
Say it’s true
I’ll never ask for anyone but you

All you want is to figure it out
And God knows I do to
What can I do
Say It’s true
I’ll never ask for anyone but you

I’m sorry
So what
But you don’t think I’ve said enough
I’m sorry
I don’t care
You were never there

As soon as I see you
Didn’t I Didn’t I tell you
As deep as I need you
You wanna leave it all

What can I do
Say it’s true
Everything that matters breaks in two

Say it’s true
I’ll never ask for anyone but you

All you want is to figure it out
And God knows I do to
What can I do
Say It’s true
I’ll never ask for anyone but you

there are times when I just wanna fly to the Uk/US and listen to some live bands play. Maybe I should make time to go listen out to some local bands play.

this week's post is gonna be dominated by 1 thing only.

Manchester United 4 Manchester City 3
Wayne Rooney (2') Gareth Barry (16')
Darren Fletcher (49') Craig Bellamy (52')
Darren Fletcher (80') Craig Bellamy (90')
Michael Owen (90')

Match Stats
Manchester United Manchester City
24(8) Shots (on Goal) 11(4)
15 Fouls 16
11 Corner Kicks 1
0 Offsides 1
60% Time of Possession 41%
2 Yellow Cards 2
0 Red Cards 0
1 Saves 4

I know all you anti Man Utd fans are dying to jump on the bandwagon for the crazy amount of extra time but well.. take a step back, and listen to this.

1)
Bellamy scores at 89:55, after the four minutes were signalled. Play wasn't restarted until 91:01 (1:06 time wasted). We won a corner, Anderson was subebd for Carrick (30 seconds). That gives us a total of 1:36 over the original four, and Owen scored at 95:28 (ie 8 seconds short of this).

Plus it's not like City weren't allowed to attack in extra time

2)
Referees always make more of stoppages that happen in or just before injury time than ones that happen previously in the game.

I'm not going to argue that we don't occasionally get generous time, but this isn't that much of an issue.

I also love the fact that some people are so desperate for an argument that they're saying that the 4 minutes was too much and therefore Fergie time, conveniently ignoring the fact that we were winning when it was decided.

3)From: mark21667 | Posted: 9/20/2009 9:39:29 PM
How much did they allow for the Owen goal? This is moronic in the extreme. The precedent for celebration time added was ignored 6 minutes later.

1 minute. Owen scored 95:30, game ended 96:30.

But I'm not going to argue. Like I was discussing with Shawn, typical Jerkyll and Hyde performance from United. 1st half was terrible after the 1st 5 minutes. 2nd half was 1 way traffic for almost the entire game so no complaints there. thought Anderson deserved a shoutout for his overall performance, although I do have my gripes about his hollywood passing with those long ground passes which got intercepted half the time.

I'm a little wierd at times in the sense that I rather win pretty, than celebrate a mere win. Which I guess was why The victory over ARsenal felt so meaningless, it struck me more like a loss. This week however, was a week to savour, a satisfying victory. I think I should stop. anymore and I'll risk sounding like I actually played in the match lol.

oh and I just noticed something off the New Paper today. Seems like the editor's been taking a leaf out of Desmond's book.

"Ferdinand TRIES TO BE CUTE by attempting to..."

jia lat la. they also start using act cute all already LOL.

anyways finally had the chance to meet up with all the jc maytes for a game at the cage. Wonderful to see everyone, and had a great time laughing at the antics of everyone. hiding behind goalposts (stares at lukie at desmond), the usual cries of "YES! DON'T HAVE TO BE SAME TEAM AS JEREMY KOH"(desmond) & "FUCK. I SAME TEAM AS DESMOND!?" (shawn) although I would have much rathered not have that ankle pissing me off for over a week already.

and yes, I've finally concluded that for all the fancy technology that's out there, I still prefer the good 'ol classic leather boots which allow for the feel, now I just need to go get my R10 sewn up for use again. Contemplating my next pair of boots too though, R10/Adipure/tiempo classic/tiempo legend.

Oh yea, Oct 11th, we're having a match. I've already informed the people I'm looking to call over, but if ya interested to come in, just drop me a msg and well... we'll see what we can do about it eh.

anyways, if you've been wondering about this uber random looking title. Its actually from a conversation a couple of us were having earlier.

this guy of ours was complaining about how he was scolding his... err... its complicated to describe their relationship. but basicallly he was scolding this girl for showing him attitude and stuff.

and this other idiot was like. see I tell you already. TRAIN HER! send for cooking classes al. then can be your maid. it was hilarious i swear, you had to be there to hear it, to really understand.

oh well in anycase. Its gonna be a short week next week. With a 2day1night outfield, and me going for physio on friday at NUH. any1 from NUS so i can go visit ya lol?

It's easier to give it away
When, on the other hand, you know
I'm not much better without you
I'm like a victim
And all that you need is an alibi

deja vu

2009-09-21T05:23:00.000-07:00

I think my sense of timing has beens crewed up really badly. somehow it doesn't feel like a year'spassed. oh well. whatever

happy birthday to ya mrs torres! looks like your husband should have made your day with that brace against west ham eh? :)

selamat hari raya to everyone. including you darth vader!

2009-09-20T02:24:00.000-07:00

a year really flies by quickly.

i think nearly a year ago today, I was off celebrating my cousin's birthday at a chalet in downtown east.

Went on to meet a friend later that night at Macs, who had qualms about meeting at first because she was in her 'hari raya attire' as i like to call it.

1 thing I've always respected muslims for, is their devotion to their faith (at least the ones that do), and how they bother to wear their traditional costumes on the appropriate occasions. You'll never catch me in a qipao (is that the even right term?) on CNY, and lets face it... when was the last time you saw a chinese girl wear a cheong sam on CNY for visiting. Its hard to look good in a cheongsam too, if your figure sucks. GONE.

At least for the malay costumes...you're flaws aren't exposed that horribly. And there's that air of elegance that's around. Bottom line is, if you haven't got an ugly face, most malay girls look cute in their traditional costume... so don't be ashamed of it! be proud! lol.

ok randomness to the max, but selamat hari raya to everyone!

P.S: I hope james doesn't see this. and yes. I didnt get to sign up in the nike human race. fuck fuck fuck lol.

i will learn to love again, but i will stand a broken man.

2009-09-13T06:21:00.000-07:00

mas⋅och⋅ism
/ˈmæsəˌkɪzəm, ˈmæz-/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [mas-uh-kiz-uhm, maz-]
–noun
1. Psychiatry. the condition in which sexual gratification depends on suffering, physical pain, and humiliation.
2. gratification gained from pain, deprivation, degradation, etc., inflicted or imposed on oneself, either as a result of one's own actions or the actions of others, esp. the tendency to seek this form of gratification.
3. the act of turning one's destructive tendencies inward or upon oneself.
4. the tendency to find pleasure in self-denial, submissiveness, etc.

I suspect I'm masochistic.

no seriously. Maybe not the cut myself part and all. But definitely there's a part of me that likes to revisit the pain. Like for all the bad memories Boys like girls brings back to me, I just cant resist taking a listen to their songs again.

ok fine. wasn't funny. But in all seriousness. I've realised its a very human thing to go back and revisit the shit. Like when people feel down, you go in and listen to thesongs which you know will make you feel lower. But yet, when you get cut, or get burnt, you won't go back in and try and burn yourself once again do you.?

ok actually. I have no idea what I'm talking about.

all i know is. I've acted like an idiot (again) over this weekend. (facepalms)

Gamer sucked.

And my curse of leg injuries struck again. Got sidelined after a terrible, terrible, terrible match on sat. Got totally raped by the striker, got caught out ofpositioned, got out-ran, couldnt head the ball away properly, couldn'tclear, didn't know what I was doing, overpaid for the match, and even managed to injure my ankle until its got swollen, and couldn't walk at all. The best thing about the injury, is that it came as a result of a collison between me and my teammate to block a shot. and neither of us managed to obstruct the ball. nnb.

the amazing thing is, despite, playing like yeow (lol. sorry i couldnt resist it), getting pai-ka-ed (for like the 3rd time this year), and overpaying for my field (like throwing my money away betting on Man City to win 2-1), All I can think aboutt... is for my leg to heal, and to play better soccer next week. Hopefully convert into a midfielder too ala, anderson. LOL

I think I'm in love. Can I marry my soccer ball and boots?

Oh and this week's post has to make a really really special shoutout to someone, whom quite honetly, I never expected myself to EVER do something like that for him. This weeks post pays tribute to EMMANUEL ADEBAYOR for that incredible sprint from 1 end of the pitch to the other end of the pitch to celebrate in front of his former 'fans'. Ive no idea what the entire fuss is all about, but to me, if you get booed so much by your own fans and everything, you're well entitled to shove it up their candy asses and make them eat their boos and regret how the ever motherfucking let you go. Sounds like some wierd love affair gone wrong. Oh yea, the stamp on that idiot Robin Van Herpies earns extra brownie points too.

I remember seeing a blog post which happily stated the liverpool's 4-1 win over United despite the owner being an arsenal fan (IIRC). well... just for the record...

Scoring Summary
Manchester City 4 Arsenal 2
Manuel Almunia (og 20) Robin Van Persie (62)
Craig Bellamy (74) Tomas Rosicky (88)
Emmanuel Adebayor (80)
Shaun Wright-Phillips (84)

wad a week its been. I'm almost feeling better from the thought of booking. oh well. till next time! :)

we are the first. the 1 and only in-fan-try....

2009-09-05T09:56:00.000-07:00

Baby won't you tell me why there is sadness in your eyes
I don't wanna say goodbye to you
Love is one big illusion I should try to forget
But there is something left in my head

You're the one who set it up now you're the one to make it stop
I'm the one who's feeling lost right now
Now you want me to forget every little thing you said
But there is something left in my head

Chorus:
I won't forget the way you're kissing
The feeling's so strong were lasting for so long
But I'm not the man your heart is missing
That's why you go away I know

You were never satisfied no matter how I tried
Now you wanna say goodbye to me
Love is one big illusion I should try to forget
There is something left in my head

Chorus

Yes i know

Sitting here all alone in the middle of nowhere
Don't know which way to go
There ain't so much to say now between us
There ain't so much for you
There ain't so much for me anymore

Chorus

That's why you go away I know

*WARNING* sigh... whining in progress. whining in progress.

I'm pretty thankful for the 2 week OJT period that's been blessed to us. That being said however, I'm not sure if it actually is a blessing or a curse in disguise.

I'll admit. I haven't fully accepted the fact that I'm a motherfucking platoon medic for an Infantry unit. Its depressing. AFter that 4 days of OJT at the medical centre and having 8-5 is like.... nah, its like losing a friend. the feeling sucks. badly. No matter how many people tell you that "you kan suay to become platoon medic sia" it still sucks.

I know I'm in denial but.... yea. Haven't gotten my Green Beret yet cause I'm not accepting my fate.

lets.... just see how things roll out in the next.. 2 months or so.

then its time to start getting mentally prepared for:

field camps every week in Nov
Brunei in Jan
Taiwan in April
more exercises.
A TEC in Aug & Sept

I'll be honest, this entire turn of events has thrown my entire plans off course. Now I need to gather all the pieces and topo a new path.

P.S: I realise this entire post looks pretty retarded. Especially If you don't get the context of it. Besides, there's lots of things that I really cant say to explain myself either, cause the contents of it are probably... inflammatory.

when lucas leiva turned black and wore the jersey number 2, and played for Arsenal against Man Utd.

2009-08-31T05:47:00.000-07:00

EDIT: because some part just sounded positively dumb, and...yea had to be removed.

before I start this post proper. I just wanna share a cute gif i found off the net.

hehz. for the record. I seriously think the win was like shit. seriously the passing standards were like omg. Like I said I've seen better passing from Shawn's batch of soccer boys. but I have to give and outstandng thumbs up to Fletcher, who's fast becoming one of my fave palyers. that and the fact that Ferguson should NEVER, EVER attempt to play rooney as a lone striker. And Arsharvin's just cemented my faith in him as one of the best players in the world, behind perhaps only messi, kaka and ronaldo.

I wonder what you'll take from me today
Sanity or just my breath away
It's hard to say
Impossible for me to tell
While always walking on egg shells
Who you're going to be from day to day, to day

Chorus:
I wish that we would go back
To where we were before
But I don't think that I love you anymore, anymore

Wonder why it is that you don't see
What you've changed since we first met
And how much that is killing me
I know that I will always miss
The butterflies of our first kiss
And how you use to smile so easily

Chorus:
I wish that we would go back
To where we were before
But I don't think that I love you anymore, anymore

Bridge:
It's too hard to keep pretending
It's too hard to ignore
But I don't think that I love you anymore, anymore

I'm sorry, I'm sorry
I never thought that it will come to this
I know we`ll never get back
To how we were before
Cuz' I know that I don't love you anymore

It's too hard to keep pretending
It's too hard to ignore
But I know that I don't love you anymore, anymore

"people are dying alfred, what would you have me do?"
"endure master wayne"
...
"today I find out what batman can't do. He can't endure this."

I have a wonderful friend called James Wong Yik. Everyone couple of weeks or months, I talk to him, and get this huge tongue lashing from him, to remind me of the mistakes I'm making.

Ok la, maybe I'm exagerrating, but yea, sometimes... I tend to forget stuff he's mentioned that I think makes a whole load of sense and try to follow. then well, he brings me back in the right direction.thanks bitch :D

I guess the story of this week: "Losing Another Fun Person To Message" (ignores Limwoan's reactions)

Although there are things that i wanan telll james sometimes (which get lost, cause the #!^#&@%!@$&%*$!$@! is msgin E whilst I'm talking to him) that well, its not that easy to do sometimes. To just take time off, and all, pretending its not around and everything. Sometimes, you just (unluckily) meet someone whom you just trust better, and find it easier to tell them stuff you usually won't tell any1 else.

which is why, unfortunately, even after all the dust has settled, after everything's that happened, I still do crappy things like telling the 'wall' stuff. fuck.

that's another song for another day i guess.

i know that i don't love you, anymore. anymore.

2009-08-30T09:00:00.000-07:00

I’ve practiced this for hours, gone round and round
And now I think that I’ve got it all down
And as I say it louder I love how it sounds
Cause I’m not taking the easy way out
Not wrapping this in ribbons
Shouldn’t have to give a reason why…

It’s no surprise I won’t be here tomorrow
I can’t believe that I stayed till today
Yeah you and I will be a tough act to follow
But I know in time we’ll find this was no surprise

It came out like a river once I let it out
When I thought that I wouldn’t know how
Held onto it forever just pushing it down
Felt so good to let go of it now
Not wrapping this in ribbons
Shouldn’t have to give a reason why

It’s no surprise I won’t be here tomorrow
I can’t believe that I stayed till today
There’s nothing here in this heart left to borrow
There’s nothing here in this soul left to say
Don’t be surprised when we hate this tomorrow
God know we tried to find an easier way
Yeah you and I will be a tough act to follow
But I know in time we’ll find this was no surprise

Our favorite place we used to go
The warm embrace that no one knows
The loving look that’s left your eyes
That’s why this comes as no, as no surprise

If I could see the future and how this plays out
I bet it’s better than where we are now
But after going through this, it’s easier to see the reason why

It’s no surprise I won’t be here tomorrow
I can’t believe that I stayed till today
Yeah you and I will be a tough act to follow
But I know in time we’ll find this was no surprise

The kiss goodnight, it comes with me
Both wrong and right, our memories
The whispering before we sleep, just one more thing you can't keep
Our favorite place we used to go
The warm embrace that no one knows
The loving look that’s left your eyes
But I know in time we’ll find this was no surprise

Disclaimer: This post really isn't written with anyone in mind specifically, just some random incoherent thoughts i made a couple of weeks ago on the back of a rather strange week. It'll probably piss some people off, probably shoot some people off their high hats but... dun be offended la. Its just the hypocritical me giving my 2 cents worth

here goes..

one of my biggest problems is me running my mouth off and making points before stepping in the fella's shoes. I confess, its always easier to shoot, than to protect yourself from getting shot at, or building cases for yourself. I guess, in retrospect, I can admit I 'm beginning to comprehend why somepeople do the things they do. all thest 'using someone to get oversomeone else', blah blah . Maybe, just maybe, I'm getting the temptation to do it too. Its like... why not? Won't you wanna have some one to msg to like once inawhile, without having any like strings attached and stuff?

Maybe its cause I've been feeling that way recently, which explains the epiphany, and why my hypocrisy detector levels are jumping off the charts.

But anyway, alll I'm saying is that I fully understand the motivation; comprehend the desperation; but well, that's that. I still don't condone it.

I'll sheepishly admit that i asked a random close friend out before, just for the sake of going out,then cancelling it 2 hours before hand cause i just didnt feel like going out all of a sudden. Lousy excuse like "mum wants me to do sth". Another example of my bad habit of taking people I put on a lower level of my hierachy list for granted.

Having said all this (like every good essay, the quintessential other side has to be present). its always easy to stand from the all-empowering-3rd-person-view and comment about everything. Vesides, knowing the hypocritical me, when the chips are down.... I'll probably be singing a diff tune, just like I did with smoking.

But for everything I've heard. I've got to hand it to the sms break up thing. respect sia that one.

looking through all of this. I realy don't know what I'm trying to say lol. I'm not sure why I'm posting this up either but... yea. (shrugs)

its to hard to keep pretending. its too hard to ignore.

2009-08-10T05:54:00.000-07:00

The Masseur
Innocent Deliberate Giving Sensual (CDGS)

You're the Masseur. You treat women with a high degree of respect and they appreciate that. However, it's not always clear what your motives are. Often your purpose is inscrutable even to yourself. You may have coffee with a girl, take her out to dinner, even give her a massage without explicitly coming on to her. All the while, you're likely to be anticipating a sexual encounter.

This behavior isn't intended to deceive, rather you just prefer to leave things open-ended. You don't have an uptight view of relationships and you can appreciate it when things stay platonic or when they turn carnal.

I've always wondered how authentic some self-proclaimed 'know-yourself' quizzes are. You wonder if its really possible for so many people to be like... so similar. share such simmilar traits.

sometimes, i suspect with the amount of information that's loaded onto the eventual "analysis", there's bound to be 1 or 2 points correct. And maybe what's next is that human nature just leads you to try and 'connect' with what they say. So basically, you ignore the untrue parts, and you believe the parts which are compatible with what you know of yourself.

so i took this quiz and well, just wondered at how authenticate it was. I looked back a little.

and well... I guess sans to 2 out of the 5 girls that i've... i guess the term is "felt something for", the quiz is pretty accurate I guess. Actually its accurate for 4 of them, just that well, i just made it looked really wierd, that the last one felt otherwise. oh well.

anyways, its another weekend flown by. all i can remember is getting myself really really high on sat night on like.. 2 cans of beer at 1 go.

today morning was spent...in the words of my friend "paying money to make people look good". I don't think I'll mention the names of my teammates cause we were really... atrocious. its like we all turned into primary school kids who couldnt control theball, pass the ball, or shoot it.

actually, its directed more at myself. I'll admit that I've always felt a certain sense of pride in my soccer skills. Granted they weren't the best, but they weren't exactly bad. Like in a street soccer game, you'd struggle to score,well at least for most teams. But after that horrific wart and this knee shit culminating in 2 exercise-less months. I kinda lost everything. 3 rounds into will run i was thinking of giving up (although I completed 15 in the end. hehz) Now, I can't do all the usual stuff I was doing. the dragging of the ball, the shooting, the turn of direction, the cutting, the.. its depresing.

seriously today was so bad, even shawn was like "wtf, its like we're getting the basics all wrong".

its been a really crappy weekend to be honest. paying $4 to cab down to see my ex-principal sing. Getting delayed like FUCK just before book out.

probably the only good thing about this weekend was getting to take photos with the old gang and MY NUMBER 1! (yea i know youwon't see this, but maybe someone will tell you and yea. you can msg me and complain LMAO)

i know i havent talked to you in some time. Its been childish but yea. Well, I dunno. really. Maybe I'm not prepared yet. yea i don't think so.

bahh.. combat phase is starting next week. more crawling around with 50 million insects around you.

did i mention? my mum's getting face book. WTF X2

i know i'll never get back, to where we were before

2009-08-02T00:48:00.000-07:00

*gets tapped*

"?"

*phone is passed to jason*

"my son"

"woah, quite cute sia."

"handsome. like his father"

*30 seconds later*

*gets tapped again*

*phone passed to jason*

"my wife"

"wah not bad wad. pretty sia" (in all honesty, seriously quite pretty, the tradtional malay girl that's like.. elegant and stuff la)

*30 seconds later*

*gets tapped again for the 3rd time*

*phone gets passed to jason with another photo of a different girl on it*

"my girlfriend"

"..." *wtf*

this was about 2 weeks ago, this hilarious conversation between me and the soldiers from brunei. The conversation later strayed on to them trying to convince me that sex was something i should try and would get addicted on.

the way they talked about sex, you would think it was cigarettes, sometimes you wonder if you're fighting the losing battle sometimes. *shrugs*

So after being out for nearly 2 months (yea i know i sound like this broken tape recorder who keeps repeating on and on about his injury but yea.. bear with me) I popped some painkillers, and went back to challenge myself to run the SRJC iWill Run 2009.

I ran around 14/15 last year. But taking into account my inactivity for the last 2 months, i wasn't expecting much, perhaps hit the target again.

The thing is, before the race, our principal kinda advised us not to take water until the 5th round, earliest. By the 2nd round I was dying for water.

By the 5th round I wanted to quit.

By the 10th round I was giving myself imaginary excuses like my knees were beginning to hurt.

by the... ok la i stopped with 3 mins left cause i knew i wouldnt complete the last round in time.

I counted 13 rounds, but desmond told me it was closer to 15. Personally I have no idea. But well was pretty proud to have finished at least 10 rounds. That was, until the night, when i was thanking a friend for cheering me on during the race.

"eh, i wasn't slack, i walked 13 rounds."

i was like "wah lao. your fat friend here run his knees out for 1 hr 30 mins equivalent to you walking for 1 hr 45 mins. fuck, i should have just walked."

ahh... life sucks life sucks. I know I'm not the only fella who's disappointed cause I've got another friend whining about having been lapped 3 times by Nash. I got lapped like.. i dunno, i lost count LOL.

anyway, just a quick shoutout to the people who cheered me on a little. Thanks even though i didn't acknowledge, i was probably busy trying to fight the temptation to walk and slack.

and yea, thanks to you to, cause i really wasn't expecting to hear you encourage. and sorry about calling you grace, couldnt see clearly LOL. (although u weren't nice enough to reply the thank you message. i'm kidding. really.)

so anyway a quick update, combat phase is starting soon. in 4 weeks time I'll be posted out. To think of it, time passes really really fast. I'll miss alotta people in the course, talking crap with them. messing around with PJ, PC and all that crap.

so before I regret in 4 weeks time how much fun it was. I'll try and cherish every moment of it now, while i still can.

as a side-note, well. finally changed my blog up. Its not exactly what I want yet, but yea I'll get it done fully in a couple of weeks time. Need a quote to go with the picture too. Just don't have any inspiration now at the moment, and i dun wanna force anything out, cause it would sound really contrived, like how this post went.

so tell your boyfriend, if he says he's got beef. that i'm a vegetarian and i ain't fucking scared of him.

2009-07-19T04:42:00.000-07:00

I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning I sleep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own

I used to roll the dice
Feel the fear in my enemys' eyes
Listen as the crowd would sing
"Now the old king is dead, long live the king"
One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt, and pillars of sand

I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing
Roman calvary choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can't explain
Once you know there was never, never an honest word
That was when I ruled the world

It was the wicked and wild wind
Blew down the doors to let me in
Shattered windows and the sound of drums
People couldn't believe what I'd become
Revolutionaries wait
For my head on a silver plate
Just a puppet on a lonely string
Oh, who would ever want to be king

I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing
Roman calvary choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can't explain
I know Saint Peter won't call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world

Hear Jerusalem bells are ringing
Roman calvary choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can't explain
I know Saint Peter won't call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world

'l be honest, this is 1 of those screw up times, when i thought the song was absolute rubbish. at first.

I took a double take some time during BMT, after another platoon did a slow march to te song. that was when i began to comprehend the majesty of the song.

And well, i was just surfing around for nice vids to throw into the ipod when i found this video, when the song doesn't feel out of place at all. Wonderfully spliced together if you ask me.

I know most of you that read this aren't soccer fans, and those of you who read it and are fans probably can't be arsed to watch, but well.... I get brownie points for trying...please?

Anyway, after 4 weeks in my combat medic course and lots of injections later, I realise that I've learnt more about sex, girls, gays, clubs, gay clubs, people's sisters, songs, beer more than I've learnt about anything to do with the medic course. Its abit embarassing really. But well the people i mix around nowadays have very little inhibitions on very much nothing to be honest. Ithink the conversation that epitomised it the most probably was this:

"eh *****, you wank before you come camp not?"

"... where got time, i was clubbing the night before then damn tired when i reach home...ok la got la, i before i rsh out i chiong to check clear. LOL"

And that's the milder ones already. lolx. I won't say its cool or anything, but i guess its well... refreshing?

anyway, going on that train of thought, and talking about girls (when they kinda refuse to believe that i've never had a girlfriend before). The thing i realised was, a couple of them were really the 'players' the kind that were pretty promiscuous, but then they were probably the kind that you wouldnt exactly expect them to get the girls. Which makes you wonder... who's got it all wrong?

you think girls like the kind of nice guys all, faith ful and stuff and blah blah crap bullshit.

maybe we were wrong. (we includes 1 other friend in it, although i don't think he'll realise i included him)

I've heard theories that maybe its just that girls don't wanna step out of their comfort zones blah blah. My take is that they wanna try out something they know they won't want forever. since you don't want it eventually,might as well try it out now and keep it temporarily. mesochistic in a way, that they like to get hurt and start whining and complaining about it. And i learnt girls will tell you anything to give themselves an excuse to feel better. I heard one girl mention that she wasn't interested cause of god and stuff. 3 months later (or less) I heard she was attached. classic.

so well... I was wondering about learning how to be a 'bad' boy lol. I'm still chuckling over the thought of me trying to be like that.

but i realised at 3am in the morning at Wenbin's house whilst i was clearing up the rubbish we left during his party while every one else was either sleeping or on the Xbox.... that I'm just not that kind of guy. I'm the kind who'll happily clear up the rubbish while everyone sleeps, stay awake so i won't oversleep and not be able to wake the rest up in time for whatever they have. That's just... me. The over sensitive, idiot who cares too much for his own good. (P.S: I'm not complaining by the way, its just an afterthought. in a sick twisted sort of way, i actually enjoy doing it. so yea. wth.)

We drank quite abit to be honest, and well. got high as usual. The best part of being high is that after the effects wear off, you get this moment of pure clarity, kinda like after you wank (okay shit i'm getting influenced by my platoon mates already). But yea, and watching Iron Man (the part when Stark realises his weapons created to protect america have actually been sold to those terrorists) along with it didn't help either lol.

and for a moment I realised that nearly a year ago, I was feeling the exact same thing as what i was now. The bored nothing better to do kind of empty life, with no girls somemore. So I basically willed myself to find a crush and ended up... falling a little for her. i think. And starting the entire stupid cycle. hilarious really, but then again hindsight is 50/50. Only like 3 people knows about this really, so I think this part should be a little confusing. Then again the crush probably doesn't know so SHHHH....

anyway back to my little moment of "me-time" (no its not what you think it is you sick bastards), I realised 1 thing. Life was back to its same usual boring self, my warts not causing any significant trouble, but my knee is getting fked up
(once again). But sans to all of that, I think i can run and stuff, I just need to find an amateur soccer team to accept me on saturdays and then I think I've found what I wanted in life, at least until the end of the year.

I know i shouldnt really be bothered with saying this, but yea, there are times i regret what I did. But well, valuable lesson. Painful, but valuable. Time to get a backbone, and start acting like a boy, not the irritating father that no1 likes.

and it's okay if you had go away
oh just remember the telephone well they works both ways
but if I never ever hear them ring
if nothing else I'll think the bells inside
have finally found you someone else and that's okay
cause I'll remember everything you sang

cause you and I both loved
what you and I spoke of
and others just read of
and if you could see now
well I'm almost finally out of,
finally out of, finally de de de de de well i'm almost finnally finnaly out of words.

P.S: no IV sessions for the week apparently. HENG SIA.

do you know your enemy?

2009-07-11T20:56:00.000-07:00

wart
/wɔrt/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [wawrt] Show IPA
Use wart in a Sentence
–noun
1. a small, often hard, abnormal elevation on the skin, usually caused by a papomavirus.
2. any small protuberance, as on the surface of certain plants, the skin of certain animals, etc.
3. any unattractive detrimental feature or aspect: The biography presents the full story of the prime minister's political career, warts and all.
4. venereal wart.

sorry if i spoilt your appetite :P

i am jack's broken heart.

2009-07-11T11:34:00.000-07:00

[Chorus - Justin Timberlake]:
Ohh I've been travelin on this road too long (too long)
Just trying to find my way back home (back home)
The old me is dead and gone, dead and gone
Ohh I've been travelin on this road too long (too long)
Just trying to find my way back home (back home)
The old me is dead and gone, dead and gone

[Verse 1 - T.I.]:
Ever had one of dem days you wish woulda stayed home
Run into a group of niggas who getting they hate on
You walk by they get wrong you reply then shit get blown
Way outta proportion way past discussion
Just you against them, pick one then rush em
Figure you get jumped hell thats next
They don't wanna stop there now they bustin
Now you gushin, ambulance rushin you to the hospital
with a bad concussion
Plus ya hit 4 times bullet hit ya spine paralyzed waist down
now ya wheel chair bound
Never mind that now you lucky to be alive,
Just think it all started you fussin with 3 guys
Nigga ya pride in the way but ya pride is the way
You could fuck around get shot die any day
Niggas die every day, all over bullshit, dope, money
Dice game, ordinary hood shit
Could this be cuz of hip hop music?
Or did the ones with the good sense not use it?
Usually niggas don't know what to do
When their back against the wall so they just start shootin
For red or for blue or for blow I guess,
From Bankhead or from your projects
No more stress, now I'm straight, now I get it now I take
Time to think, before I make mistakes just for my family's sake
That part of me left yesterday the heart of me is strong today
No regrets I'm blessed to say the old me dead and gone away

[Chorus - Justin Timberlake]:
Ohh I've been travelin on this road too long (too long)
Just trying to find my way back home (back home)
The old me is dead and gone, dead and gone and
Ohh I've been travelin on this road too long (too long)
Just trying to find my way back home (back home)
The old me is dead and gone, dead and gone

[Verse 2 - T.I.]:
I ain't never been scared, I lived through tragedy
Situation coulda been dead lookin back at it
Most of that shit didn't even have to happen
But you don't think about it when you out there trappin
[ T.I. Lyrics are found on www.songlyrics.com ]
In apartments hangin, smokin and rappin
Niggas start shit, next thing ya know we cappin
Get locked up then didn't even get mad
Now think about damn what a life I had
Most of that shit look back just laugh
Some shit still look back get sad
Maybe my homeboy still be around
Had I not hit the nigga in the mouth that time
I won that fight, I lost that war
I can still see my nigga walkin out that door
Who'da thought I'd never see Philant no more
Got enough dead homies I don't want no more
Cost a nigga his jaw, cost me more
I'da took that ass-whoopin now for sure
Now i think before I risk my life
Take them chances to get my stripes
A nigga put his hands on me alright
Otherwise stand there talk shit all night
Cuz I hit you, and you sue me,
I shoot you, get locked up, who me?
No more stress, now I'm straight, now I get it now I take
Time to think before I make mistakes just for my family's sake
That part of me left yesterday the heart of me is strong today
No regrets I'm blessed to say the old me dead and gone away.

[Chorus - Justin Timberlake]:
Ohh I've been travelin on this road too long (too long)
Just trying to find my way back home (back home)
The old me is dead and gone, dead and gone
Ohh I've been travelin on this road too long (too long)
Just trying to find my way back home (back home)
The old me is dead and gone, dead and gone

[Justin Timberlake]:
I turn my head to the east I dont see nobody by my side
I turn my head to the west still nobody in sight
So I turn my head to the north, swallow that pill that they call pride
That old me is dead and gone, but the new me will be alright
I turn my head to the east I dont see nobody by my side
I turn my head to the west still nobody in sight
So I turn my head to the north, swallow that pill that they call pride
That old me is dead and gone, but the new me will be alright

[Chorus - Justin Timberlake]:
Ohh I've been travelin on this road too long (too long)
Just trying to find my way back home (back home)
The old me is dead and gone, dead and gone and
Ohh I've been travelin on this road too long (too long)
Just trying to find my way back home (back home)
The old me is dead and gone, dead and gone, hey eh

all the ways you wish you could be. that's me

i look like how you wanna look.

i fuck like how you wanna fuck

i am smart, capable, and most importantly, i am free in all the ways you're not.

I've been asked this question so many times its not funny anymore, but its never gotten to me why people are so surprised when the answer they recieve to the question

"wah, who you going out with? girlfriend ah"
or
"eh who you out with, bo jio"

is
"no one la. I'm alone."

"..."
"HUH? WHY YOU GO OUT ALONE?"
"no la. lazy to find people to go out with."

then for the ultimate knockout punch.

"you wanna come with me meh"

which sometimes makes me wonder, when i ask people if they're at novena, or ask people out for cage, or perpetually whine to get some soccer (even though my knee is fucked, my right foot has a planta wart and, ergo, i am unable to run normally) I wonder how much of an idiot i look like.

"nb, wad go cage? i rather go club/go out with some random girl i'm playing with/go out with my girlfriend."

and sometimes i feel bad.

anyway, that wasn't the point of this post.

as i was saying, i was on one of this lone trips out around. this time the venue was gym in orchard, at my mum's club house. I was deciding between movies to catch on the iTouch. It was between Seven Pounds and Fight Club. At that point of time, it was like choosing between getting a life lesson (7 pounds always looked like one of those movies that taught you more about life and stuff) and 2 hours of fighting (I mean, if a movie's entitled Fight Club what would you expect the story to be about?)

Turned out my copy of 7 pounds is screwed up, the words appear in a mirro reflection, which pissed me off. So I decided to just chill out with a fight show ala huo yuan jia.

how so god damned blardy knnccbwtfwad de hawk-ingly wrong i was.

I know its more of a guy movie, but I think everyone should go catch it. For guys, its food for thought, for girls, its probably a direction to understanding how guys think sometimes, not that you need it really. (and well, cause there's brad pitt, which i've heard is supposedly damn cute)

i won't spoil the story for you all so i'll put the spoilers in black.

basically, the narrator of the story, creates a split personality, to do all the things that he's never dared to do.

which kinda reminds of me a little. Cause I used to kinda like.. idolise (is that the word to use) people. I know back in VS it kinda got out of hand cause some people suspected it and gave me stick for it. I think it was a very sub-conscious thing, not like I chose to but well, that was that.

When it came to JC, it was slightly different. It wasn't idol worship(my god this sounds so god-damned wrong) it became slightly more towards the big brother you look up to. He had the athleticism, he got the girls, he had the height (that i thought was ideal), he didn't have the looks but he made up for that with charisma (which in my book goes above looks anytime), and the same devil-may-care attitude with the cheek to talk back to teachers and make himself sound big.

(i think i should stop lest it gets too obvious. but i think some of you probably have an idea of who it is.)

unconsciously, i began to talk a little more like him, strut a little more, mirrored his style of play. And the worst thing was that you wouldnt realise that you did it, you just did.

I kinda just outgrew it after awhile, after i finally found my own set of rules and personality to follow. But it was hilarious to think back after awhile. And subsequent episodes showed him to be only human too, i got a little irked when it came down to him finding me when he had troubles, and disappearing when i had mine. Maybe I got tired of playing the condescended understudy. Maybe I found my own way. I really don't know.

But it was hilarious, because after sometime, I heard stuff. And realised he was exactly the same as me, looking up to another bunch of people who had that same condescening attitude towards him as he had towards me.

I guess its safe to say we learnt out lessons, and found our own paths.

Sanosuke (from rourouni kenshin, yea i spelt that wrongly sorry!) says that we all walk in our fathers shadows,but 1 day, we learn to walk our own.

on my 19th year of existence, I need to learn to put down all the bad habits, all the things from the 18th years, and walk on my own.

but the old me's dead and gone. dead and gone. dead...

P.S: on a side note, someone says i look like Frederico Macheda now, thanks to the new hairdo. WTF.

50 years from now, when you look back. don't you wanna say you had the guts to get into the car?

2009-07-05T04:28:00.000-07:00

Do you remember when we didn't care
We were just two kids that took the moment when it was there

Do you remember you at all
Another heart calls

I remember when we stole the night
We'd lie awake dreaming 'til the sun would wash the sky

Just as soon as I see you
Didn't I, didn't I tell you

As deep as I need you
You wanna leave it all

What can I do
Say it's true
Everything that matters breaks in two
Say it's true
I'll never ask for anyone but you

Talk to me
I'm throwing myself in front of you
This could be the last mistake that I would ever want to do
All I ever do is give
It's time you see my point of view

Just as soon as I see you
Didn't I, didn't I tell you
As deep as I need you
You want to leave it all

What can I do
Say it's true
Everything that matters breaks in two
Say it's true
I'll never ask for anyone but you

All you want is to figure it out
And God knows, I do, too
What can I do
Say it's true
I'll never ask for anyone but you

I'm sorry
So what
But you don't think I've said enough
I'm sorry
I don't care
You were never there

As soon as I see you
Didn't I, didn't I tell you
As deep as I need you
You wanna leave it all

What can I do
Say it's true
Everything that matters breaks in two

Say it's true
I'll never ask for anyone but you

All you want is to figure it out
And God knows, I do, too
What can I do
Say it's true
I'll never ask for anyone but you

big thank you to everyone who came, wspecial mention to those who missed stuff, as well as those to came after gala dinner.Glares are reserved for a couple who gave crap excuses.

thank you's too to those who couldnt drop by but dropped a birthdya message still.

and a couple of question marks to those who promsied attendance but disappeared.

i'm tempted to say middle fingers to those who didnt reply. i'm kidding.

overall. well spent $400++

take care guys, hopefully, we can have something like that again next year LOL.

and the sun, will set free you.

2009-07-05T01:21:00.000-07:00

050709 1030
Yeow: Eh Jason, your ice box gone.
jason: huh? wtf?
Yeow: ya, just now when i went to smoke all, still there, then now gone le.
jason: ... ok GG-fied

050709 1140
jason: Hello, mum? oh yea we checked out already.. but we lost the ice box gone.
mum:#%!#$^$@&@!!@#@!

yeap, that was the highly anti-climatic conclusion to my 19th birthday celebrations.

right now, my mum's just giving me the cold shoulder all blah blah again, and yea, the entire mood's pretty skewed up now at the moment. oh well. Poor end to a really great time.

I'm kinda irritated, cause I catch the irony in all its glory.

The story of the 18th year of my life, has been how to start things wonderfully, and end off with a piss, with literally everythin falling in my face.

I prefer to lookback at the last year, not during december like most people, but from 1 birthday, to another, to kinda see how things have changed (and my god, how much it changes).

The last year was pretty... crazy. and fun.

If I take it as a span of 1 chalet, to another chalet. I would say last year's chalet was abit of a screw up, too many random people all in 1 place, kinda made it impossible for much interaction to go on. Or maybe its just because this year's core people were much closer and much more open and comfortable with each other already.

but that's not the point really.

what I wanna say is.. my 18th year of existence.. had many incidents to remember. many incidents to cherish. many incidents to learn from. things to regret. things to hate myself for doing. things to look back and be content that i had the guts to do it, just so i can pick out the silver lining in that dark cloud.

I think tis a little unfortunate that I learn my life's biggest lessons during times when I really don't have the time to learn them. First was way back in sec 4, when i really learnt abouy guys (this is about as wrong as it should sound), and the second was well.. last year, during A's, when I learnt about how to deal with girls.

from the "i don't know how you guys spell stress, but personally i spell it as a l-e-v-e-l-s". there was A's. there was the clique's toughest times. there was the cold shoulder treatments from the 623's and the push pop's which left me scratching my heads. there was the how to comfort a friend in need. there was a how to make sure things between friends dun end up awkward. there was a "KNNCCBWTF WAD DE HAWK, HOW THE HELL PEOPLE STUDY FOR A LEVELS" period (but trust me, after you get through it. its not as hard as you think it is). there was the wonderful times of 20 CENTS(YES YOU DIDNT SEE IT WRONGLY) coke at Thales, and having funwith robin hotcakes, lightsabres and all those idiots, although sadly, I can't seem to catch up with them anymore. there was the looking-like-an-idiot-playing-for-lukie's-father's-team-and-tiring-out-faster-than-some-of-the-old-man. then there came the "platoon 3 watch your front, platoon 3 SEDI-AH!". there was the crazy heat rash half way thru field camps. the crazy IST's from Sergant Charles. then there was the "BMTC ROAR!", THE "1 check 1 check 1", finally... THE TRRRAAAAAAIIIIINNNNNNNEEEEEDDDDDDD SOLDIER! POP LO!(probably like only lukas will understand this, cause everyone who reads this hasn't gone thru army, won't go thru army, or could only go thru a POC :D). then there was the I! AM A MEDIC OF THE SINGAPORE ARMED FORCES. and also the injections. then there was the footwart that doesn't seem to wanna go away.

in conclusion, I guess what I can say for sure is that its been an enriching year, packed chock full of life's lessonss for me, opportunities for me to grow,and rejections which have lft an indelible mark on me.

which leaves me to prepare myself for another rollercoaster year install for me.

I probs won't be able to upload up the photos from the chalet intime so my chalet post will probs have to appear next week.

well...

I guess, this is it. the full stop to the 18th year of my life.

and this... is for you.

ok so i guess. this is it. the next time i see you on the streets, there's not gonna be any friendly hellos, no smiles or waves. just.. walk by like we never knew each other? is that really what you want?

But Why Are You Making This Thing Drag On So Long
(i Wanna Know)
I'm Sick And Tired Of This Silly Game
(silly Games)
Don't Think That I'm The Only One Here To Blame
It's Not Me Here Who's Been Going Round Slamming Doors
That's When You Turned And Said To Me
I Don't Care Babe Who's Right Or Wrong
I Just Don't Love You No More.

I'm Sorry For The Tears I Made You Cry
I Guess This Time It Really Is Goodbye
You Made It Clear When You Said

get up and shake the glitter off your clothes now.

2009-06-27T10:12:00.000-07:00

that's what you get for waking up in vegas

anyway, this is an urgent call for help cause... i need help -.-"

cause like. i think most of you who read my blog probably know i've got a BBQ/chalet next week. If you read it, you're probably invited. if I forgot you out, just drop me a message to remind me. sorry. getting poked around by needles kinda makes your memory really really bad.

so anyway as i was saying. I need abit of help abit for the chalet.

FIRST OFF!

I need someone to help me check the bags of everyone coming in. Items to look out for area s follows

1)Rafia String
2) Ropes
3) anything whcih can be used to tie a man up
4) Clothes Pegs
5) masking Tape
6) Tape of any sort that has any adhesive on 1 side of it.
7) blindfolds
8) an cloth that can be use as blindfolds
9) pliers
10) wasabi (dun gimme the bullshit that u need it for the BBQ lol)
11)chopped chilli

list to be added.

Sans to that, I also require the help of several bouncers to keep out some UNDESIRABLES from the chalet, on grounds of ugliness, screw up-ness, and a general penchant for inflict pain and suffering on the poor and miserable.

UNDESIRABLE NUMBER 1

(the 1 on the left la)

UNDESIRABLE NUMBER 1 (1ST DISGUISE)

(on the right this time)

UNDESIRABLE NUMBER 1 (2ND DISGUISE)

unfortunately, trouble never comes singly, and thus his partner-in-crime a.k.a UNDESIRABLE NUMBER 2

UNDESIRABLE NUMBER 2

(the one on the right)

UNDESIRABLE NUMBER 2 (1ST DISGUISE)

(the left most one in the black shirt)

WARNING!!!!!

undesirable number 2 is highly dangerous, known for his ability to spew a tremendous amount of trash in the shortest amount of time. For all his disguises, his 1 obvious tell-tale sign simultaneously the source of his greatest strength... and weakness is.. CARMEN! :).

soo... any one up for the job? :P

(you need facebook for this, and you need to have 2 people added to your account to view it properly, and for this post to serve its purporse. so yea. lol)

adidas black duffle bag - $139
adidas predator absoute - $250
Total 90 Laser II - $250
Nike Air Lunar Trainer - $179
Emporio Armani Shades - $189
Ray Ban Aviators - $180
Ralph Lauren Polo Tee - $180

1 bbq with all the usual jokers, the cocksters i'll probably never see again - priceless

there are somethings money can't buy, for everything else... there's visa.

Cause i paid for the chalet with my credit card and it was a visa!

the good deeds never go unpunished.

2009-06-16T23:55:00.000-07:00

it took some time, but i finally tightened my resolve and made a more concerted effort to search. I found it, a website that streams Heroes season 3. Finally something that slights towards good news as compared to everything else that's been happening.

the episode i'm on now features them losing their powers (if you're way past that shaddup, and just pretend you didnt' know lol). And finding their way out of it.

I remember this conversation I had with an old friend of mine like last year or something. She was commenting that

"actually after you dig deeper, most of the handsome guys have nothing inside."

"nothing?"

"ya like, no personality, like just good looks"

Kinda makes you wonder, without your powers, what would you be like. Or, just to put it more in context, if 1 day, you lost your hand, your feet, your looks, lost something about you, would you still be able to be yourself and pull thorugh. could you still be a hero. could you still believe in what you believed in?

most of us probably wouldnt.

I recently decided to go do some therapy for myself. like drag myself out this hole i'm pulling myself into. I did what i loved most (ok fine second most. after soccer and running). I went to the national library and read comics. (yes shawn. alone. why ya so shocked about it O.o). Actually made me feel better. Didnt have any new ones, so kinda disappointing in a way, but well, at least it cured me of whatever hangover i had physicall from Pulau Tekong. Cause for some reason, I would feel hungry, but just wouldnt feel like eating. And my entire system went really haywire.

now this post started sometime back. 1 part cause of heroes, another part cause apparently my foot wart's back, and its worst than ever. can't walk properly, limping around. So things like running and soccer are a definite no-no. which kinda makes my life feel shitty.

Then i realised today that my previous post was 1 heck of a god-damned shit ass emo fuck post capable of some wuss.

so this post isn't gonna be an emo one.

its gonna be a "fate rarely calls upon one at a time of his choosing"

its gonna be a, when life gives you lemons. squeeze it into his eye and punch his face.

screw the wart, screw the needles from the combat medic course. screw all the dillemas, screw all the stupid dreams, screw the stupid wants and the stupid unis.

anyway we went out to celebrate james' birthday today, so for wad its worth. happy birthday bro :)

and sorry for lying to make u go shop with me to "look for a cologne for my friend" when it was really for you lol!

Note to self: one day i'm gonna look back at this post and think to myself. how much i could have expanded on this post. instead of just crapping it towards the end. then again that's the story of my life really. get something that seems to be good, make it slightly better, then dovetail and go kamikaze to the end. studies.girls.life.

i wish i could count to ten, make everything be wonderful again.

2009-06-15T08:37:00.000-07:00

Lonely
I'm Mr. Lonely
I have nobody
For my owwnnn

I'm so lonely
I'm Mr. Lonely
I have nobody
For my owwnnn
I'm so lonely

[Verse: Akon only]

I woke up in the middle of the night
And I noticed my girl wasn't by my side
Coulda sworn I was dreamin
For her I was Feenin
So I hadda take a little ride
Back tracking ova these few years
Tryna figure out what I do to make it go bad
Cuz ever since my girl left me
My whole life came crashin and I'm so...

[Chorus]

Lonely (so lonely)I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
For my own (to call my own_ girl)

I'm so Lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
For my own (to call my own girl)

Caint believe I hadda girl like you
And I just let you walk right outta my life
After all I put u thru
U still stuck around and stayed by my side
What really hurt me is I broke your heart
Baby you a good girl and I had no right
I really wanna make things right
Cuz
Without u in my life girl I'm so...

[Chorus]

Lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
For my own (to call my own_ girl)

I'm so lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
For my own (to call my own_ bay_bay)

Been all about the world ain't neva met a girl that
Can take the things that you been through
Never thought the day would come where you would get up and run
And I would be out chasing u
Cuz aint nowhere in the globe I'd rather be
Ain't no one in the globe I'd rather see
Then the girl of my dreams that made me be
So happy but now so lonely...

[Chorus]

Lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
For my own (to call my own)

I'm so lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
For my own (to call my own_ girl...)

[Ending Verses/ Choruses Akon (chipmunk/other)]

Never thought that I'd be alone
I didn't hope you'd be gone this long
I just want u to call my phone
So stop playing girl
And come on home
(Come on home)
Baby girl I didn't mean to shout
I want me and you to work it out
I never wished I'd ever hurt my baby
And it's drivin me crazy cuz...

I'm so lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
For my own (to call my own)

I'm so lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
For my own (to call my own girl)
I'm So Lonely...

So lonely (lonely)
So lonely (so lonely)
Mr. Lonely (lonely)
So lonely (so lonely)
So lonely (lonely)
So lonely (so lonely)
So lonely...

Mr. Lonely

1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8... 9... 10...

1 day i'll wake up, and 2008 will be nothing more than a passing memory, a faded nightmare. Its the inexorable rockbottom you have to hit before things go up and get better.

I shake the very thought of you
Me together, i remember
Late nights when i stayed up late
All i do is wait and wait
You're never coming home to me
That's the hardest thing to see

the marriage was rocky, but the sex was great.

2009-06-14T08:03:00.000-07:00

surprisingly this is 1 goodbye I've manage to do easily. you may have been a tit. you may have been quite a fktard who never quite seemed to be in the mood this season. You may have irritated alot of man utd fans for the nonchalant attitude and the desperate attempts to leave man utd. I guess the fact is, you did contribute alot in the 6 years you were at man utd, and truth be told it was pretty cool to watch you grow fr a petulant cockster with a penchant for useless stepovers and tricks with no end product, into the most penetrative winger the world has seen with 42 goals in a season.

Although I sheepishly admit that probably the best reason i like him for is the perverse sense of pleasure i get when the liverpool and arsenal fans all try and hate him and yet he plays even better. :D YES! THIS IS FOR YOU FEL AND ADA hee hee.

so I guess in a way thanks for the fa cup, the CL title and the hat-trick of EPL titles, thanks for giving me something to live for during the weekends to see you play well with all your stepovers and reptoire of tricks.

go on and take a bow..

its been hard to describe everything recently. knee's feeling crappier after every day. the wart on my leg's preventing me from doing the only thing i enjoy. nad i'm slipping back into those stupid days of random mood swings and stuff.

I recently finished reading the book the Time Traveller's Wife. TBH, I found it really dumb, didnt see a twist, didnt see a point of the story. We humans have an innate arrogance, to conquer all, to mould things as we see fit. timetravelling to see our future, trying to change it if we don't like it. the book kinda brings us back to say that, in life, most of the stuff's inevitable. You just have to accept it, and make the best of it.

me on the other hand? I'm learning to say goodbye, one step at a time. I'll confess its I'm bad at it, but I'm getting the hand of it. I'm getting the hand of it.

fucked up knee.

2009-06-10T10:10:00.001-07:00

something interesting off the net.

At the press conference after the game against England. (2004) Reporter: "You´we got some scars in your face, Zlatan. What has happened?"
Zlatan: "Well...I don´t know...you´ll have to ask your wife about that"

"Who is the most beautiful girl in the world?"
"I haven't met her yet, but when I do, I will date her."

On the question what his girlfriend got when they got engaged:
"What she got? She got Zlatan."

On his move on Stephane Henchoz of Liverpool:
"First I went left, he did too. Then I went right, and he did too. Then I went left again, and he went to buy a hot dog."

"Which is the club of your dreams?" (2001):
"Real Madrid, Barcelona, and I have always liked Inter."

Answer to the question "What are you NOT going to say when you meet your teammates in Ajax for the first time?":
"I am Zlatan, who the hell are you?"

lmao. anyways, updates tomorrow. shagged out today.

you are not what i thought you were.

2009-06-10T09:12:00.000-07:00

Oh I, had a lot to say.
Was thinking, on my time away.
I missed you and things weren't the same.
Cause everything inside, it never comes out right.
And when I see you cry, it makes me wanna die.

I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue.
I'm sorry about all the things I said to you.
And I know I can't take it back.

I love how you kiss. I love all your sounds,
And baby the way you make my world go round,
And I just, wanted to say, I’m sorry.

This time, I think I'm to blame.
It's harder, to get through the days.
We get older and blame turns to shame.
Cause everything inside, it never comes out right.
And when I see you cry, it makes me wanna die.

I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry I'm blue.
I'm sorry about all the things I said to you.
And I know, I can't take it back.

I love how you kiss. I love all your sounds,
And baby the way you make my world go round,
And I just, wanted to say, I’m sorry.

Every single day, I think about how we came all this way.
The sleepless nights and the tears you cried.
It's never too late to make it right, oh yeah, sorry.

I’m sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you’re blue.
I'm sorry about all the things I said to you.
And I know, I can't take it back.

I love how you kiss. I love all your sounds,
And baby the way you make my world go round,
And I just, wanted to say, I’m sorry.

I'm sorry baby,

I'm sorry baby,

Yeah, I’m sorry.

I realised the problem with me when it came to you was that i always went on a ramble on and on. Until everything lost its meaning. So this time its going to be simple.

I'm sorry

P.S: its acoustic, and fully stripped, to show my sincerity, no frills added in, just a simple.

I'm sorry

hands in my pocket and my head in the clouds.

2009-06-07T04:02:00.000-07:00

after 2 months of really really bad times...

i finally got a message that really perked up my day.

"eh jason. cage. 2-4pm on wednesday. u and me team with some noob j1"

the message was longer, but it didnt really matter, all that mattered was.

CAGE.

2-4PM

WEDNESDAY

its gonna be a good week.

oh and i guess here's a quick thank you to everyone who took some time off to reply my msgs and keep me company. really appreciate it too :)

don't waste your whole life trying, to get back what was taken away.

2009-06-07T02:41:00.000-07:00

in yet another epiphany. I finallly realised what Spacemen by The Killers was talking about.

Its alot about running away from your problems.

whatever your problems is.

we all like to run away from it, instead of facing it, some of us like to drink, some like to shut ourselves up... blah blah blah.

You'll change your mind about your problem here "I guess I changed my mind"

you'll think you're alright, you'll tell everyone your fine, but you'll wonder to yourself sometimes at night how things could have been different "and you know i'm fine, but i hear those voices at night."

people will tell you all sorts of stuff, some tell you that "it ain't so bad" others tell you "its gonna make you mad"

and after awhile. a very long while in some cases, you realise the problem is..."all in your mind."

the only person who can free yourself, is yourself.

slightly random note, I realised I haven't posted photos of myself bald, or in uniform. then again I realise i don't even have a photo of myself bald yet HMM...

time to take i think ahahaha!

on a more personal note though. here's a big thank you to 624 for doing me that huge favour of submitting my NUS application online.

see la eileen! why you go out till so late. sobbiex.

or maybe i could balme the motherfucker for stealing my phone. so i had to change a new phone and left with only like 3 contacts that had access to internet still.

or maybe i could just point the middle finger at myself for not studying harder and doing well so i didnt need the appeal to NUS. ah. who's the fuckhead now.

spacemen says everybody look back: "its all in your mind"

i wanna i wanna i wanna ITOUCH you.

2009-06-07T02:33:00.000-07:00

i had a sudden epiphany today that the number of mp3 players i owned, and the number of girls i like are like... the same lol.

I remember my 1st mp3 player, it was some mp3 player cum thumbdrive, about 256mb.

then came my turn to the dark side. I bought my first apple Ipod Nano 1st Gen.

I sold it off after awhile, can't remember why also.

my 3rd was a really cool looking Sony mp3 in purple that I really liked, but unfortunately it had like 0 functions and i threw it away after awhile lolx.

now I'm returning back to the dark roots again.

I finally gave in and bought the iTouch 2nd Gen.

now I'm scouting for white leather case. In-ear earphones. Radio extensions. and nice movies.

Standby for photos, probably get them up on tuesday or wednesday. after i pop :)

I'll be gone when the wind blows.

2009-06-05T08:48:00.000-07:00

I have a problem with saying goodbyes.

ok maybe i should paraphrase that a little. I have problems saying goodbye prematurely.

so my Platoon Commander kinda left us today afternoon, like 2 days before our POP, which is next tuesday.

now the thing is, my Platoon commander 2nd Lieutenant Daryl is pretty detached from us. Like he's rarely around with us and all. Don't get me wrong, I'm not taking anything away from him, I think he's a really wonderful guy, just like.. never around and a little slack. he holds the record for the fastest RO which he gave for all of 1 minute. lol.

The thing is with like the little time that we've seen him around, I can't kick the feeling that it sucks to see him leave.

We have not come here by chance. I do not believe in chance. When I see three objectives and i see three captains, and three ships, I do not see coincidence, I see providence.

I see purporse.

so i drew a new face and i laughed :)

2009-05-30T22:04:00.000-07:00

I really need an 32 GB iTouch..................

I'm in a i-don't-really-know-how-to-explain-my-mood kind of mood. This week's been much improved from the last wew weeks. Fucked up in ways, but there's a sense of optimism in me that's not been present in the weeks before, and I won't deny that its making things feel alot better. I'm not emo, but at the same time I'm not happy. I'm just thinking about life and wondering where the hell it will take me.

listening to The Wind Blows, coupled by its original MV's really putting me into the mood to go down to the beach in slippers, a shirt, berms with an iTouch in my hand, and just lay back and chill out.

I'll make a playlist and call it...

the sun will set free you play list. throw in a pic of the sun. these songs will defo be in. I recommend everyone to go search it out on youtube and take a listen, expecially when you're feeling like neither here nor there, just thinking about life.

Kristy are you doing okay - The Offspring
I wanna - All American Rejects (AAR)
Mona Lisa (When The World Comes Down) - AAR
When The Wind Blows - AAR (yea I love them alot)
It ends Tonight - AAR
3 cheers for 5 years (acoustic) - Mayday Parade
I'm Yours - Jason Mraz
Built To Last - Melee
Single - Ne-Yo
Say Anything - Marianas Trench
Alibis - Marianas Trench
Rooftops - Lostprophets
Lost In Emotion - Lisa Lisa/Cult Jam (LOL)
Shadow of the Day - Linkin Park
Leave out All the Rest - Linkin Park
Pictures of You - The Last Goodnight
Picture Of You - Boyzone
Spaceman- The Killers
Knock You Down - Keri Hilson ft Neyo & Kanye West
John Mayor - Me and My Stupid Mouth
Back Here - BBmak

and others... I'm too lazy to get it all lolx. Oh and alot mre Backstreet Boys and NSync songs too :)

Jason Ying or dudely or anyone who happens to chance on this blog with songs that are nice to chillax to, feel free to drop it down on my tagboard. if you don't wanna leave your name, just use an alibi. I'll understand :)

I think its the thought of POP-ing in like 7 more days time (working days that is). My attitude now is like "throw shit at me you bitch and I'll point my god-damned middle finger at you and shit on you". lol!

I recently started to read around blogs again, it feels kinda good. Reading people's thoughts and everything, really cool. some really give you some food for thought too. Finally could bring myself to read one of my former favourite blogs to read. Now maybe if i could afford to get a laptop and bring it to the beach HMM....

anyway the main takeaway from this post is. I.NEED.A.GODDAMNED.ITOUCH. money please drop from the sky now. thanks :D
I'm not sure if you still read my blog. my guess is yea. so if you do. wad i wann say. is this. can we stop being childish, and just be friends again?

so since I'm in this already crazy mood that i'm in this is just a chillax vid for everyone who plays l4d. seriously damn god damned hilarious.

if you don't well... you should still watching it :)

cheers people. take care. have a good week and hols.

they don't test number patterns in A level Math

2009-05-30T12:27:00.000-07:00

today felt really fucked up.

booking out at 8, when you could have booked out much earlier due to someone's mistake really sucks. the fact that you're booking in at 4pm the next day doesnt exactly help your mood. but oh well that's army. SUCK THUMB! _|_

somtimes i really wonder if I'm becoming a burden to everyone else. Becoming some extra kia, crashing on to other people's stuff.

I've got to breathe
You can't take that from me
Cause it's all that you left that's mine
You had to leave
And that's all I can see
But you told me your love was blind

There are times
You're so impossible that I should sign a waiver
And you will find
Someone worth walking on when you ask me to go

I'll leave when The Wind Blows
Take a breath and there it goes
I'll be outside of your window
I'll pass by but I'll go slow
I'll leave when the wind blows

There was a day
You threw our love away
Then you passed it to someone new
You wanna stay
But since you wanna play
We can finally say we're through

There are times you're so impossible and you ask me to go

I'll leave when the wind blows
Take a breath and there it goes
I'll be outside of your window
I'll pass by but I'll go slow
I'll leave when the wind blows

You can scream there's just echoes
Pass outside of your window
You'll be sad that you let me go
I'll leave but just know

As I lay in solitude
Oh what's a boy supposed to do
I shake the very thought of you
Me together, I remember
Late nights when I stayed up late
All I do is wait and wait
You're never coming home to me
That's the hardest thing to see

I got to breathe
You can't take that from
We can finally say we're through

I'll leave when the wind blows
Take a breath and there it goes
I'll be outside of your window
I'll pass by but I'll go slow
I'll leave when the wind blows

You can scream there's just echoes
Pass outside of your window
You'll be sad that you let me go
On every face you'll ever know
And everywhere you ever go
You'll feel when the wind blows

maybe. mayeb someday i'll learn how to leave when the wind blows. let go of everything. and just... go.

I realise there's someone else on my blog I never realised. hello andrew :0

either that, or someone else was doing that quiz :)

knnccbwtfwad de hawk la, what you think we are? we not in...fuck. I'm in army."

2009-05-30T11:39:00.000-07:00

Song of The Day: Thinking Of You - Katy Perry

People say that when faced with troubles, one can choose to either fight, or flight.

These same (irritating) people further postulate that those who choose to face and repel the problem are thestrong, whilst those who pick the latter option are the weak.

Sadly, I have to admit I fall in the latter category.

Hi reader, I hope I haven't scared you off from reading my journal. I'll confess I have a bad hbit of expressing my views as I see them, which is why I started a blog, so people could see my views and well... maybe understand me better.

anyway, back on topic, I would like to throw forth my own brand of logic that we are not weak, we are the smart, choosing to run... to fight another day. lol, ok whatever. that's bullshit, but never mind.

On a more serious note though, Ns life, has been a sort of irony to me in many ways. Pior to NS, most of my friends often dismissed it as a waste of a precious 2 years time. And I was always the lone voice in the sea of disapproving voices trying to point out the positives of trainin up and learning discipline. that, was in Jun 2008.

Fastforward nearly 10 months later, I find myself hating the regimentation regime here. I'm ok with doing PT, my life has always been about fighting and improving my fitness, and PT, as tough as it may be sometimes, is still endurable, and in some sick twisted way, I actually enjoy and embrace it, to help me lose my weight and stuff.

Embarassingly enough, I did curse my luck a little not to have gotten into police. In part cause there's lesser regimentation, but yet the PT is still there.

but well, tht's that. I hate whining and thinking about what could have been, and instead, focus on what is, and currently that includes giving it my best shot in BMT first.

That doesn't mean I've given upon hope on going into police. But firstI have to get my act together and start bringing my performances up 1 notch.

I should end here, I'm eating into lights out time, take good care of yourself too. nights.

this was my first journal entry in Ns, dated 150409. about the 4th day of enlistment.

looking back now.. what a naive little boy I was back then.

Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember it didn't work for the rabbit - R. E. Shay

I love this quote. Because it reminds me that the only person who will look out for me. is me. no one else.

when all you got to keep is strong, move along, move along, like i know ya do.

2009-05-24T01:18:00.000-07:00

I remember back in j1 I had to take chinese. and one of the lessons we had to read involved this father giving his daughter this advice. it went along the lines of

"if you ever meet anything difficult, just grit your teeth and go through it."

I remember being very disgusted with it. I wondered what kind of advice that was. To me it was akin to telling someone "if you see a hole on the floor, avoid it"

I think i twas cause it lacked the punch, the... erm... larger than life feeling. Or maybe it was just the person saying it, maybe if it was Morpheus saying it I might have a different impression of it. Maybe. Maybe I'm just superficial in that way.

So I went back and tried to think of a better way of putting together a more cryptic sounding piece of advice. I realised, there just wasn't anyway to put it better. the only one that kept popping up in my mind was the blog title.

I've seen it appear twice as people's personal nicks. 1st was a friend who was doing a levels.

The 2nd is my section mate, cause army was pissing us off. Life was getting really shitty, and well, I guess that's the only thing you can do sometimes, move along move along just to make it thru, and move along.

although, as usual, ar-fucking-my has a much better way of telling it to us. 2 words.

"suck thumb"

Oh well, I better stop saying things about army la. The last time I complained about it... i lost my phone.

To be honest I think I've lost more in army than I've gained.

I've lost fats.
I've lost weight.
I've lost friends.
I've lost pride.

and well like I said I lost my phone too.

Its been quite a journey of self-discovery to be honest, this past 6 weeks.

all the crazy rash, the lost phones, the foot pains, the days of trying not to cheat during push ups, falling off parallel bars during SOC to get some sick looking bruise, pointing the middle finger to the idiots who call me TAF club with a 9.26 2.4 timing, finding the inner strength to push on in the 12km route marches, plastering the foot wart so it doesnt hurt so badly.

its been a really bad week (wait i say tat every week don't i?) I dunno, its just been going downhill. like everything that could screw up has screwed up, and quite frankly, sans to breaking any part of my body, i don't think things can get any more screwed up already. I know they say the only way you can go from down is up, but right now I'm wondering if I'm already at the pits or still on the way down.

oh well, we'll see.

took some time off and went shopping with des yesterday. (whatever la shawn lol.)

I realise my wishlist is growing.

iTouch 2nd Gen 32 Gb
The Nike Total 90 Laser II in Tour Yellow/Blk/Midnight

Uniqolo jacket
Adipure jacket
RL Polo T
Springfield Polo T
Adidas/Diesel Black Jeans.
Plain black and white and maroon T's
Emporio Armani/Samsung Phone

wow. that's 1 damn god damned bloody long list.

like des was telling me yesterday, to be really honest with ourselves. none of these are actually needs. They're all wants.

which means I really shouldnt be bothered spending money on it.

shoutouts to everyone who's finished their mids. those who aren't done, good luck for the rest.

and well.. I don't think anyone was truly serious about wanting my SEA notes right............?

I'll leave when the wind blows
Take a breath and there it goes
I'll be outside of your window
I'll pass by but I'll go slow
I'll leave when the wind blows

P.S:
hi eileen, some comments on your quiz.

1)	What would I name my first daughter?
a)	Kitty
b)	Tiffany
c)	Lim Woan HAHAHA
d)	Victoria

HAHAHA indeed. what I disagree with is this

6)	I want to marry _________
a)	Jay Chou
b)	Chuck Bass!
c)	JASON CHUA HAHAHA
d)	Wong Yik!

wth eileen. wad de hawk. why must put hahaha behind it. lolx

And I was the class clown that, always kept you laughin

2009-05-24T00:26:00.000-07:00

The Supreme Being Teaches Spider-Man How To Be In Love - The Flaming Lips

The first round goes, we go to blows,
I'm the Spider-Man nobody knows,
But the spider conceals the truth.
The spectums raise your ringside days,
I've been in love with you for a million days,
But the fighter conceals his wounds.

I'm in love with you but I fight the urge.
Muhammad Ali makes a third round surge,
And the audience can see the truth.
His punches land I can hardly stand,
I've got the power of a spider but the heart of a man,
But the power is in the truth.

Honesty can kill the spider,
Muhammad Ali feels the same,
The audience can give you power,
And I hear them call my name (Here comes the Spider-Man),
Hear them call my name (Does whatever a spider can).
I hear them call my name (Here comes the Spider-Man),
Hear them call my name (Does whatever a spider can).

At the seventh round you make a sound,
Muhammad Ali only knocks me down,
He whispered to tell the truth.
I say 'I'm in love with you' at the knock out count,
The audience cheers as the champ wins out,
But now you know the truth.

Honesty can kill the fighter.
Muhammad Ali knows the same.
Honestly the truth is power,
And I hear you call my name (Here comes the Spider-Man),
Hear you call my name (Does whatever a spider can).
I hear you call my name (Here comes the Spider-Man),
Hear you call my name (Does whatever a spider can).
I hear you call my name (Here comes the Spider-Man),
Hear you call my name (Does whatever a spider can).

I hear you call my name,
Hear you call my name.

this is probably my favourite indie song that no one knows about.

the lyrics look stupid at first... but dig deeper, and its really quite a wonderful song.

cheers :)

oh yea. shoutouts to all those random people who read my blog. And I never knew.

a huge hello to Cai Xin who should really be studying and not here at my blog.

and i'm not sure if he still reads it but heya ying!

i still rememberthe day i found out you read my blog, freaking hilarious.

(mad was playing off some speaker)
Ying: eh this song nice right.
me:ya. damn pwer. my favourite.
Ying: its your blog song right?
me:!#%#!&$%@!^$&**$@! WTF HOW YOU KNOW ABOUT MY BLOG!?

ahaha. I guess I'll never know, but my guess is Lewis led you here :)

anyway drop a tag next time all you strange people who read ahaha.

cheers and take care! good luck for mids too.

Muhammad Ali only knocks me down

2009-05-16T21:45:00.000-07:00

you know they say practise makes perfect.

like how you keep practicising that same movement drills in army.

but the 1 thing i've learnt in life is that no matter how much you train, how much you practise, nothing in this world can ever prepare you for the real thing.

its like you can tell yourself to prepare for this, deep down in you you know its gonna happen. but when reality strikes...

I really dunno what to say. I'm totally perplexed and at a loss for words. All I can say is..

what.the.fuck.

what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.
what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.
what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck
what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck
what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck
what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck
what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck
what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck
what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck
what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck
what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck
what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck
what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck
what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck
what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck
what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck
what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck
what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck
what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck
what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck
what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck
what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck
what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck
what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck
what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck.what.the.fuck

for 1 short crazy moment, I thought things were getting better.

apparently not.

How could this happen to me
I've made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

serious-fucking-ly...

knnccbwtf.what.the.fuck?

I'm in love with you but I fight the urge.

2009-05-15T19:28:00.000-07:00

You look so beautiful today
When you're sitting there it's hard for me to look away
So i try to find the words that i could say
I know distance doesn't matter but you feel so far away
And I cant lie
Every time I leave my heart turns gray
And I want to come back home to see your face
And I
Cause I just cant take it

Another day without you with me
Is like a blade that cuts right through me
But I can wait
I can wait forever
When you call my heart stops beating
When you're gone it wont stop bleeding
But I can wait
I can wait forever

You look so beautiful today
It's like every time I turn around I see your face
The thing I miss the most is waking up next to you
When I look into your eyes, I wish that I could stay
And I cant lie
Every time I leave my heart turns gray
And I want to come back home to see your face
And I
Cause I just cant take it

Another day without you with me
Is like a blade that cuts right through me
But I can wait
I can wait forever
When you call my heart stops beating
When you're gone it wont stop bleeding
But I can wait
I can wait forever

I know it feels like forever
I guess that's just the price I gotta pay
But when I come back home to feel your touch
Makes it better
Till that day
Theres nothing else that I can do
And I just cant take it
I just cant take it

Another day without you with me
Is like a blade that cuts right through me
But i can wait
I can wait forever (I can wait forever)
When you call my heart stops beating
When you're gone it wont stop bleeding
But I can wait
I can wait forever
I can wait forever
I can wait forever...

EDIT: in retrospect after everything that i've heard and stuff. This post just looks really really really dumb.

answer me! Jason, ARE YOU WEAK?

2009-05-10T02:20:00.000-07:00

[Intro: Kanye West (Lil Wayne)]
I'm cold! (Yeah)
I'm cold! (Yeah)
I'm cold! (Yeah)
(Yeah)

[Lil Wayne]
I got the right
To put up a fight
But not quite
Cuz you cut off my light
But my sight
Is better tonight
And I might see you in my nightmare
Ooooh how'd you'd get there
Cuz we were once a fairy tale
But this is farewell

[Kanye West]
I got my life
And it's my only one
I got the night
I'm running from the sun
So good night
I made it out the door, door, door, door,door
After tonight
There will be no return
After tonight
I'm taking off on the road
I'm taking off on the road
And letting you know
LETTING YOU KNOW

[Chorus: Kanye West]
Tell everybody that you know
That I don't love you no more
And that's one thing THAT YOU KNOW
THAT YOU KNOW

[Kanye West]
Okay I'm back up on my grind
You do you and I'm just gon' do mine
You do you cuz I'm just gon' be fine
Okay I got you out my mind
And the night is young
The drinks is cold
The stars is out
I'm ready to go
You always thought I was always wrong
Well now you know

[Chorus Kanye West]
Tell everybody, EVERYBODY that you know
Tell everybody that you know
That I don't love you no more
And that's one thing THAT YOU KNOW
THAT YOU KNOW

[Lil Wayne]
I got the right
To put up a fight
But not quite
Cuz you cut off my light
But my sight
Is better tonight
And I might see you in my nightmare
Ooooh how'd you'd get there
Cuz we were once a fairy tale
But this is farewell

Babygirl I'm finished
I thought we were committed
I thought we were cemented
I really thought we meant it
But now we just repentin
And now we just resentin
The clouds is in my vision
Look how high that I be getting
And it's all because of you
Girl we through
You think your *ish don't stank
but you are Mrs. P-U
And I don't see you
With me no more
Now tell everybody THAT YOU KNOW
THAT YOU KNOW

[Chorus: Kanye West]
THAT YOU KNOW
Tell everybody that you know
That I don't love you no more
And that's one thing THAT YOU KNOW
DAT YOU KNOW

L-L-L-L-LETTING YOU KNOW
Tell everybody that you know
That I don't love you no more
And that's one thing THAT YOU KNOW
THAT YOU KNOW

my sergant has this penchant for asking us this questionwhen we're stuck on the top of the chinup bar, our arms beginning to weaken, the muscles beginning to go numb, our friends supporting our legs to push us up because we can't find that inner strength to bring ourselves up on our own ability.

sometimes we're asked to shout out name of your girlfriend, girl you like blah blah to help you make that final pull, although I have to say I've been lucky to escape that fate. (aiya jason you taf club won't have girl one)

anyway that wasn't my point.

the thing is.

after entering army I'm beginning to question myself alot, and if I'm really... well.. weak.

a wart, a crazy rash, flat feet, screwed up mentality have all led me to wonder about what a life I've had. I won't even start mentioning about how i managed to screw myself last year and how i'm worried about not getting into any Universities.

I'm not gonna get started on how my life has been falling apart and stuff and how weak I am for just watching it all fall apart.

All I can do is try, pull myself together. Maybe I should make 1 of those trips to the beach again to like plan my future. Then again we all know how well the last plan worked. HMM...

now, staring at a possible OOT, probably being unable to go through my field camp once again, I find myself asking myself..

"jason. are you weak?"

and the only answer I can give, to not feel so shitty is..

"yes...
...
...
...

but it doesn't necessarily mean I'm going to stay that way."

oh... its what you do to me...

2009-05-09T08:37:00.000-07:00

Memories consume
Like opening the wound
I'm picking me apart again

You all assume
I'm safe here in my room
Unless I try to start again

I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean

I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit tonight

Clutching my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again

I hurt much more
Than anytime before
I had no options left again

I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean

I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit tonight

I'll paint it on the walls
'Cause I'm the one at fault
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But now I have some clarity
To show you what I mean

I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit tonight

sometimes i wonder if you're a curse.

like i mention to you to like 2 people only. and they disappeared soon after. or like.. i dunno acted strange

i meet you and everything in life starts to spiral out of control.

you appear in camp alife in there starts turning down hill too.

its like your my own personal brand of heroin, the more you appear the worst things get, but its not like i want it to stop either.

wtf

anyway, the song title's dedicated to army life after a comment from this bunkmate of mine. cause like... army makes you do lots of crazy stuff, like you tend to injured yourself more and everything therefore: "what you do to me..."

there's lots of things to say, but right now i just can't exactly put things out appropriately. Ive no ideawhy also. All I can say is...

fuck this.

fuck this all.

I miss so much stuff, I have no idea what i don't miss anymore. god dammit.

"sometimes i wish i could save you, but there's so many things that, I want you to know."

I mean its not like i wanna whine or what. but a terrible rash, a wart, and the notion of field camp on monday is making me extremely grumpy and displeased.

the fact that wolverine origins sucked terribly isn't helping my mood either.

hell I think even Fast and Furious had a MUCH better storyline. and at least it came away with something to remember.

Taken was pretty cool, abit unrealistic that the actor became like superman with his 1 man mission and all but yea, still quite fun.

everything else has been so sucky it isn't even funny. I think I should go into directing to save the damn industry ahaha.

still searching for my code in life.

everything's been going in 1 steady downhill. I hate being down in the doldrums and everything but this hole's going to take some time to crawl out from.I know this post looks really strange, and I won't deny it is. rahhh..

"you know that I could use somebody..."

and you know i'm fine, but i hear those voices at night

2009-04-24T19:14:00.000-07:00

actually only 7 words were required from the video.

"FINALLY. THE ROCK HAS COME BACK, TO THE WWE"

after 2 weeks of confinement... wel I'm finally home, enjoying my shortlived freedom before going back in.

there isn't much time to say anything so this post is gonna be short

1st off kudos and shout-outs to everyone who replied and kept me company at night. I've always believed that army life sucks most the first few days cause of the adaptation and stuff. I was fine with sleeping in a foreign life and all, but not being able to go back and stuff really ate me up pretty badly. I'll confess the 2nd night was really really really tough, so big shoutouts to everyone who replied.

1st off: honarary mentions to people like desmond, damian, ada, mrs gerrard, ely(even if it was for 1 msg :p) for like replying.

next up, big thank you's to people like li an and gay partner for being around for a couple of nights.

lastly a huge shout out to the really really really wonderful friends like alvana choo who kept me company for most nights and actually bothered to msg me good luck for army, and not to forget my bro shawn wee (yes limwoan i tried to steal himaway from you)
i just couldnt resist the attempt to say this too: fuck you my dear friend :)
another thing army's taught me to be really thankful about is for my parents.

i come back after army, my room's packed nicely, my parents are asking me non-stop where i wanna go eat and everything. this repeats for sat and sunday. I'm given everything I want and more.

sometimes, it takes the really really worst, to find the really really best things in life. and you begin to wonder why you bothered to stick on to the shittier things in life and the crappy persons u met.

thanks everyone. I'll come out of BMT a stronger person. I promise. and I'll try not to sms and irritate so many people :)

alright, this is recruit J S Chua saying goodbye till a good 2 weeks later. wish me luck for field camp starting next sat.

P.S: someone remind me to post about a certain stunning come back from 2-0 win from a certain team in red :)

How To Kill An Android ( cause in your eyes, I like to...stay)

2009-04-10T08:00:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: this post isn't directed to anyone.

This blog was started off back in... sec 3. Mid year, if i remember correctly. It started off as an attempt by a little boy who was too big for his shoes, too intelligent for the world to understand him (or so he thought) and too easily miss understood by everyone (including himself), to present his point of view to the rest of the world without facing much criticism, at a position where he was, untouchable so to speak.

nearly 4 years on, well...I guess you can say the little boy isn't exactly a little boy. He's grown up a little and he's learnt to accept different viewpoints, and how to defend himself. Oh and yea, he knows he isn't the smart little alec he used to think he was.

People may change, but well, the raison d'etre of this blog hasn't changed bery much. Its still a place that I use to express my views, thoughts and my take on everything I see. Its what I believe blogs are for, and on the same train of thought, I believe in blogs are also a book to read, to understand the writer more.

enough of the long story. I'm going into army (officially tomorrow), yea I know I've been to school so many times its embarassing to even be there sometimes, but yea you're not going to see me for a LONG LONG while. So if the sight of this fat irritating looking fucktard has been pissing you off in school, well no worries, you won't be seeing him anymore.:)

as I was saying, being in army means I'll only be out on weekends, and knowing myself, I'll almost never blog with like.. only 2 days a weekend to myself. This probably also spells more or less the end of my blog. So in a way, this is a big shoutout/thank you to everyone who reads my blog.

I don't really know waht the hell you're doing here, listening to an immature 19yearold teach you lessons about life, ranting about ridiculous stuff and recommending you songs you probably don't even appreciate. Maybe you're here just to support a friend's blog, or maybe cause you're bored. In any case I would just like to thank you, for taking some time out to read this humble little post.

I'm not exactly sure who reads this anymore cause my tagboard is as dead as... my A level results.

I know there are the usualy culprits, like DJ Lukuli, Alvana, Yeow.

then there are the occasional suspects like Desmond, grace, felicia.

Then there are the totally out of the blue people like... Jason Ying, whom i didnt even know knew my blog existed! I was at wen bin's party when the song mad started to play and he just turned around and said "HEY! this is your blog song right!" and i was like... how the hell you know that!? lolx.

a couple more people whom I kinda think still reads it althought I thought they stopped already. people lke Nad, Sam, I think ely read it once or twice.

oh well doesn't matter.

I suck at saying goodbye's so here's a goodbye song from me. hopefully I'll still see your face again.

see ya all in 2 weeks, I fully expect to see no new posts on my tagboard but its ok. I can always hope. no?

"but there's no easy way to say goodbye. so baby just say goodnight"

P.S: I'm really really really sorry.

i'm fine, but i hear, those voices at night.

2009-04-09T10:37:00.000-07:00

So, it's over
He's with someone else
and you know her
And you just can't get any lower
Sit in the dark alone
And won't answer your phone

[Verse 2] Well
I'm sorry
I won't attend your pity party
I'd rather go have calimari
And maybe a drink
And, yes, I think
You should come with me

[Pre-chorus]
Life isn't long
There will be pain but
Life goes on
With every day, a brand new song
But, if you'd
rather stay at home
Let me do you a favor...

[Chorus]
I'll ask the sun to shine
Away from you today
So you can cry
(If that's what you
want, alright)
I'll ask the clouds to bring
The rain to you today
So you can cry
(If that's what you
want, alright)

If that's what you
want, alright...

[Verse 4:]
I'm a lover
And the pain of a
hurt from another
Can be difficult to recover
Yes, this I know
But difficult
Isn't impossible

[Verse 5:]
And you shiver
He wouldn't want you to cry
Lips quiver
Honey, go on and cry me a river
You wanna be down?
Fine, let me help you out
How 'bout...

[Chorus]

If that's what you
want, alright...
Then, if that's what you
want, alright...

[Interlude]
And your tears won't
bring him back
I know you wish that they did
But it just don't
work like that..

I know that healing
takes take time
Hey, even your heart has a pace
But, how much time are
you gonna take?

Too much would be a mistake...

[Chorus]

I'll ask the sun to shine
Away from you today
So you can cry

If that's what you want

I think everyone needs to have this song handy sometimes. I know I could have used this song a couple of times last year.

67.8% (or somewhere along that lines) of people got A for PW. Just backs up my argument that A is losing its value in the PW war. seriously.

i'll ask the sun to shine away from you today, so you can cry.

2009-04-09T08:26:00.001-07:00

now i rarely feel anything for people who throw their lives away on drugs and stuff. That applies to both rich and the poor, although admittedly I could emphatise with you to some extent if you were poor. That feeling of helplessness of being stuck in the mire of the vicious cycle of self fufilling prophecies of your inability to break out of the poverty cycle and thus turnin to drugs. Abit whiny but I guess yea, I can emphatise.

but well if you're rich, and one day you just decide to turn to drugs and ruin your life and stuff.. you're just stupid.

but despite everything she's done, there's one person i really genuinely feel sorry for. I mean it all started so well for her when she first started. I mean she was hot (yes I thought so too, along with like.. half the guys around the world too.) and.. it all just went downhill from there. the whole let's not wear undergarments thingie, thewhole going bald thingie.

I blame the media sometimes. for giving her so much pressure and stuff, not giving her privacy and everything. poor fella.

but well I do respect her for being some comeback queen.Its like everytime she falls, its just another reason to get up and slap the lips right off the faces of those non-believers. Now, though, everyone seems to want a "piece of her" (pun unintended). A quick check on wikipedia shows almost 5 different artists and bands covering her song WOMANIZER. I particularly enjoy the All American Reject's cover. In part cause they're one of my favourite bands. And in another cause.. the trash talking they do at the start is pretty funny.

"is it because of the deep political connotations? no its cause.. we think we can do it better than britney."

the official video

I always think bands sound better live. period.

Its Not Me, Its You.

2009-04-09T08:26:00.000-07:00

I have newfound respect for Oasis.

Speaking in August, Noel Gallagher had compared the I Predict A Riot stars to 60s group the Monkees.

Gallagher had joked to DJ Chris Moyles that the Monkees had not split up but were "just going under the name of the Kaiser Chiefs".

He added: "I did drugs for 18 years and I never got that bad as to say, 'You know what? I think the Kaiser Chiefs are brilliant'."

ok. that's made my day like slightly better i guess.

which started off pretty badly cause i had a bet on liverpool and chelsea to draw 0-0. I mean like... when the hell was the last time these 2 teams ever managed to make it to mre than 3 goals in a match. even as Lukas was telling me to buy 4 goals i was busy shooting him down.

final result? 3-1. 4 goals. knnccbwtf wad de hawk.

anyway there was this hilarious post on this internet message board which i find damnn bloody hilarious.

Title: Congratulations Liverpool!

You've finally done it! Fulfilled your most scouse of ambitions. You've turned into Man Ure. Let's examine the obvious evidence:

Both are managed by a red-faced manager with an incomprehensible accent and embarrassing face.
Both play in red.
Both have loads of plastic fans nowadays.
Both claim to have an "atmosphere", which consists of nicked chants and booing their own players / manager / selves.
Both play oop north, far from civilisation.
Both keep trumpeting on about their recent European Cup win endlessly.
Both are proud to field only the ugliest (often scousest) players in the known physical universe. See Dirk Shout / Rooney.
Both cling on to their managers like the captain did to the Titanic.
Both managers are regularly accused of buying titles. Usually by each other.

These are the easy ones. What is more telling is how, this season, Liverpool have transformed themselves into a clone of their supposed "hated" (read copied) rivals:
1) Both score in the last minute of every game (something that is described as "cheating" when Chelsea do it) which will last a mere ten minutes, should it suit.
2) Both are assured of at least one penalty and sending off at OT, if they're behind.
3) Manc Riley.

my god. how that ass clown manages to come up with stuff like that is beyond me. Seriously. His name (on the message board) is slutboy_fame. And he'sbeen responsible for a couple of nicknames for players which well... I'll let you have a guess. call it a slutboy quiz of some sorts

1) Thierryble
2) Wristiano
3) Pepe the Clown
4) Van der Sars
5) Evraphant Man
6) Crapregash
7) Flaminime
8) Arsene Wenker
9) Frank Rightguard
10) Ferdinandrolone
11) Rape van herpies
12) Ronald McDinho
13) Sahahahaha

he's a chelsea fan therefore the lack of chelsea players in side the list. Although I'm pretty sure there were a couple of Liverpool players that i missed out.

anyway... I know I run my mouth a little too much for my liking. and well.. this time isn't exactly any different.

I got told off last week for running my mouth off about someone and their secondary school, which I remember meaning it another way, but yet got misunderstood. Oh well, I apologised, and hopefully that's the end of it.

This on the other hand. is total-fucking-ly stupid. I'm still not entirely sure why the hell I said it, I just did. And its really been eating me quite abit.

I was joking to this friend of mine about giving some rough treatment ala Wenbin (Note: YJC match. today) style, or maybe just a 2-footed tackle (kamal, i hope i got his name right, in the ACS match ) - minus the apology, to someone.

I won't start trying to defend my actions cause its pretty indefensible, its a little low and spiteful and just a damn fucked up thing to say. the thing is. that friend apparently went to tell someone else, and.. after everything that I've heard, I 'm pretty sure that the whoe 'joke' thing has spread a pretty fair bit.

so in some way. I guess this is an apology of some sort. I think I probably gonna drop a msg or something. I'm not sure if its actually spread that far, but judging from their behaviour. I would say it probably has.

P.S: I'm beginning to think this is some sort of explosion of posts from me. "too little too late" is the phrase that comes to my mind. I think I've had more posts this week than in months. like wtf.

the spaceman says "everybody look down, its all in your mind.

2009-04-07T21:20:00.000-07:00

now if there's one thing in life I hate, its whiners.

people who non-stop whine about this and that about ow life has dealt them the shit side of the coin, instead of stopping to wonder if they could have done anything differently. seriously, did it ever occur to you that perhaps you could have had something to do with it? but noo.... these insufferable cockanathans just blames anything and everything but themselves.

yes mr Cristiano "slide me and i deserve every right to sit on the floor for 5 seconds and whine that I wasn't given the foul" Ronaldo, you're included in the list too. The only saving grace you have probably came on Sunday's match against aston villa when you got 'fouled', sat on the floor with flailing your arms, decided you team needed you more, then runs up and scores with your left foot. I mean yea i know all those less talented fuckers than you only know 1 way to stop you, and that's to ensure your ass ends up on the floor, but seriously, sometimes you play like you're beyond the team.

but anyway that wasn't the point (dammit i need to nip this habit of digressing in the bud.)

the thing is, with so much disdain towards whiners, I realise I've (increasingly) become one myself.

I know my biggest flaw, is like knowing something's wrong, yet still committing it. I'm not quite sure how to describe it exactly. Its like you know its screwed up (or potentially screwed up at least) and yet you... just do it. O.o

I've been like immensely sick over the last week, what with like this fked up cold and sore throat and cough. Nothing's worst than the lethal combination of a sore throat and a cold. Cause when you cough, you can feel the disgusting phglem inside your throat. Yet cause your throat is sore, you can't excrete and spit it out. So you're left with the awfully gargled feeling in your throat and the sore throat hurts too. Throw in a runny nose/blocked nose, and you get a really really bad day. Oh wait, did i mention I've got a corn on my feet so it hurts when i walk, play soccer and like run?

like i said, i was feeling all whiny when MTV decided to piss me off. I have this awful habit of like turning on the MTV while i'm athome regardless of whether i'm watching it or not.

So i was cooking halfway that day when like this irritating song just came up

"look at those kids on the street no they never miss a beat never miss a beat -AAH SHADDUP LA STUPID SONG.

yea...I was natrually irritated, but was cause i was cooking I couldnt leave the kitchen to change the channel for a moment. After the song stopped there was some brief silence for awhile so i took my time to savour both the aroma of my food (i overloaded on the rice wine lol!) as well as the lack of irritating songs. All of a sudden..

"there's good days and bad days...."

I was like.. WTF!? 2 songs by the same band within 30 mins, they really managed to bribe them ah.

I got really pissed off so i went out... and realised there was some Kaiser Chiefs special, loosely translated into lets make jason's already piss-worthy day into an even fucked upone by putting up the band that irritates him most on a special for 30 mins.

to be honest, I've never really understood why I hated them so much. I guess its one of those either you like, or you really don't like kinda stuff, you can't explain it, you just.. choose. My official explanation is that their lyrics are really retarded. And like the tune to half their songs sounds like its inspired by kids show Hi-5. like seriously. Then again, The Killers rarely put together lyrics that make any sense and I'm quite a fan of theirs, so I guess this could be down to its all in your mind. or maybe there's another explanation for all of this. maybe its you.

now if you haven't heard by now, yea. I'm going to ensure that you can sleep soundly every night when you lay into your bed. Yeap, after appearing in school like virtually every other day, its time for me to answer my call and well... enter national service (fk la....) on Saturday, after Good Friday (Bad Saturday :( )

and well.. truth be told I'm nervous. I've heard lots of different stuffs from everyone and well... I don't really know what to expect to be honest. O.o I do thinki should get a couple of photos taken with a couple of friends though, I mean after all its the last time I have a decent crop of hair for at least.. 6 months I guess.

I'm kinda wondering if the 2 weeks confinement is scary because its the thought that I won't be able to get home or cause I'll miss home. Is it the bark, or the bite that's worst?

and you know how bad you're EQ is when the only fella that's told you to call them if you ever feel like ya need someone in army is your pretty good friend from JC. thanks Shawn Wee :D . You might have just made all the "jason damn fat jokes" a slight bit more palatable.

Anyway, as that PES C cockanathan was telling me, perhaps the 2 weeks confinement was only really really painful cause like he was attached, and well... the thought of not being able to see his girlfriend really really sucked. I guess that's a valid point, and throwing inthe fact now that hes in a 9-5 Job for NS and he (therefore) comes back to school everyday to find his girlfriend kinda explains it abit. At least he has something to come back for.

I know most people recommend not having a girlfriend when you're in army cause of the break ups blah blah blah and stuff and all.

But to be honest, I don't think anyone would deny that, after a long day of being thru shit, lots of tiring exercises, crappy food (all these is hypothetical by the way, I'll tell you more in 2 saturday's time) the knowledge that someone you sincerely care for is around to talk to ya at the end of it all could just make the day a little easier to get through.

like the spaceman says: its all in your mind.....

I think I'm going to go back to school again tomorrow. serious-fucking-ly, I think I have no life, and its getting embarassing even, to be going back to school these days. I dunno why I'm back to be honest. Maybe I'm masochistic. Like going back to school piss myself off, hear people make you out to be a slut and stuff. Thinking if you're really serious about... never mind. It really isn't any of my buisness really. I should just enjoy the soccer, making the J1's look like idiots and well maybe stop feeling bad in 50/50 challenges cause someone's brother apologises after those stuff, when I'm the one who initiates it half the time.

P.S: I just realised. jas - 527. 27 also refers to 2nd July, which is my birthdate. If we ever get our act together and actually form our soccer team, which we've been discussing for like 50 million years but nothing's actually come out of it cause no one can be bothered to organise it (myself included :#), I think I've found my jersey number in advance. hehz.

you can save me, from the man that I've become.

2009-04-07T21:08:00.000-07:00

i dont' know who you are.

i don't know what you want.

if you are looking for a ransom, i can tell you i don't have money. but what i do have are a very particular set of skills. skills i have acquired over a very long career. skills that made me a nightmare for people like you.

if you let my daughter go now, that will be the end of it.

but if you don't. i will look for you.

i will find you.

i will kill you.

have faith. restart. just hold on.

2009-04-06T20:45:00.001-07:00

I was gonna have the title of this post as

"some people say that football is life and death, I assure them that it is much more than that"

A quote from Bill shankly(although I do think I've gotten a couple of parts here and there wrong, but the essence is there I guess).

In any case, I thought the current title would probably suit the entire post better so here we go.

In life, I believe everyone's endured times when you begin to question the decisions that you make, especially on an impulse.

Then there are also the times when people question you for making the choices you made.

like going for that guy/girl, that you know is... not your type and stuff.

like going into a jc, screwing up your results, then wondering if you should have made the smart decision and fucked off to a poly earlier instead.

like getting chided by your friends for like trying to go for this guy/girl who's of a different religion to you and questioning if you've fully thought through the consequences, or even just teling you it would never work out cause of these differences.

like watching a club you support go through this reallyterribly hard to believe period where they get raped (yes raped, up down left right centre) on the pitch by their arch rivals, and lose their subsequent matches. The only thing that tops that feeling, is the triumphant messages you get from supporters of the opposite team. Ido solemnly believe that's how my phone ended up with a dent somewhere.

like going into army, and getting confined for 2 weeks, and not being able to come out and see your girl. (i've been told its very painful)

like going to school so often its almost like you retained, and makes you feel.. 'extra' or for lack of a better phrase 'act can jia'

like hearing people ask you.. "you mean the 2 of them are really together!?"

like crying for that guy who really doesn't deserve your tears (the person who makes you cry doesnt deserve your tears, and the person who does won't make you cry)

like... listing down too many examples such that you know that you're going off-course terribly, and your post would lose its meaning.

ok gimme a sec while i check everything again to see if there's anything feckless (new word learnt today from dictionary.com!) inside

ok, I confess, I couldnt be bothered to check lol.

at least the first 2 "like..." should be right (i hope). What I'm saying is that in life, people are going to question you all the time. and you're going to question yourself all the time too.

I have. (yes one of those sentences was a personal experience)

Sometimes we all need to take a stepback and think with a clear head, what the hell is going on around us. My recommendation is after some alcoholic drinks. Serious-fucking-ly

After the "high-ness" kicks in, after you stop thinking about doing all the stupid things, just before you fall off to asleep. You get this moment of... clarity. Where everything just appears to be so simple and straightforward.

and what I realised (after a couple of tries), was that the answer was simple. That you were probably right anyway, that everything that happened happened, and couldnt have happened any other way. And that going back, you'd probably have made the same decision anyway.

which is why you'd probably be better off sticking to your guns, have(ing) faith (in yourself). Maybe restart yur engines, step out of whatever hole you've fallen into...

and hold on for your dear life,

cause the journey's only just began.

That's life's biggest lesson, how to stand up, after we fall, and walk on better than before.

"why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up"

P.S: ok i confess, I lost track of what this post was supposed to be about. So if you don't get anything, its alright cause I don't either. wthawk.

"who the hell is federico macheda?!?! I DONT CARE!!I LOVE YOU! "

2009-04-05T10:47:00.001-07:00

my vote for man utd's goal of the season.

Credits to Wenbin for my title too :)

don't give up on love.

2009-04-02T00:24:00.000-07:00

now ladies... you know i love you.

i love you to death.

but right now i'm gonna talk to my fellas. my real fellas. fellas in the house make some noise yo!

now I ain't talking to every fella now. I wanna talk to the real fellas in the house, the real men in the house. The fellas who ain't afraid to admit when they've been in love before, anybody, anybody anybody.

the real fellas who ain't afraid to admit when they've had their heart broken before, anybody aybody anybody.

see cause the real man knows that getting your heart broken ain't make you any less of a man. am i right?
ok i think i hear enough to make a baseball team.

maybe myself as a real man. i've had my heart broken once or twice, i know hard to believe, hard to believe, hard to believe but dammit its true. Well the song i wrote one of the particular particular times i had my heart broken like you hear, here it go.

when you love someone, and they break your heart.

2009-03-29T22:11:00.000-07:00

I think my procastination is getting from bad to worst. this post was due like... onMonday and I've only just begun writing it.

time really flies, just last friday I was away at a camp for Geylang Serai's Project Linking Hearts 2009 camp at Adventure Camp at Sarimbun Scout Camp for Metta School students. This week, I spent the entire Sat lazing at home. But that wasn't exactly the point i think.

The camp really made me think about... stuff. and life as a whole.

I like to measure things by giving it a value first. In this case, it started off with me trying to figure out why I wanted to go in the first place.

and for the first time in my life (and yea, this camp had alot of these 'firsts'), I couldnt give an answer. It really just came up as my friend asked me if i was interested and I just said yes. I know I told a couple of people that like perhapsI could insert it into my SMU application to say that I was doing CIP and stuff, but like, I dunno, that thought never really like formed the central reason for me going. It really just boiled down to me saying yes for...'fun'. And ok fine perhaps a good way to save up on spending money for 2 days, and an easy way out of finding things to do for 2 days, which was really getting to me cause i really had nothing to do these days, and as DJ lukuli can testify, it gets really painful sometimes.

so in any case, this camp was special in several ways I guess cause the kids i were taking weren't just kids, they were erm... (please excuse me for my embarassing lack of a better term) - "special". Yea in that sort of way.

I wasn't sure what to expect, what they would be like. Sterotypical of me but yea, I guess we all are a little like that deep down inside.

so keeping in mind all my apprehension, all my preconcieved notions and having thought up of nearly a thousand variations of how this thing could possibly, how i could possibly screw up my entire camp up cause I couldnt communicate with them effectively...

the camp turned out well.

The kids were... really really really normal. Sure you had one or two that were clearly slower than the others but apart from that, they were just like your typical average lower sec kids. We even got embarassed when they remembered our names much quicker than we did, and we only got saved cause the one who challenged us had her name written on her water bottle, so we managed to not end up with egg on our faces.

I guess the biggest part I learnt about myself was just how god damned bloody spoilt i was. I confess I wasn't able to sleep during the 1st night. Like totally. I was turning around here and there and sitting up and lying back down, totally not being able to get to sleep. I know I've been suffering from insomnia abit and stuff but even during other camps it was never bad. Sure, i slept lightly and woke up inbetween, but it was like little breaks in between a long sleep, but never this bad. Lights out went off at like... 11:00. I think i only managed to fall asleep around like. 2am earliest. Needless to say, the next day was... tough. Now I'm just... worried about how I'm gonna adjust to army life.

I know I can only get stronger after everything tha's happened, but.....

R10: that's why he's still my favourite footballer to watch.

2009-03-29T21:44:00.000-07:00

everyone has their own "best goal of all time"

some opt for power, like those typical Gerrard 40 metre screamers, or Rooney's volley against newcastle a couple of seasons back.

some prefer skill, ala the legendary Maradona dribble past half the England team to put the ball into the net. Or even the equally unforgettable dribble across half the field against Arsenal to blast the ball past david seaman (HA! TAKE THAT YOU ARSENAL FANS!) :p

others choose superb technique, from the physics defying free-kicks that C.ronaldo has been performing recently where the ball literally travels one direction, and swerves another. or Beckham's famous curlers, or even the crazy Roberto Carlos Free-kick against the France in the 1998 World Cup.

for me?

I opt for something that combines abit of everything, and abit more.

this goal is number one for me, partly cause Iwas watching the match live and I couldnt believe he could pull it off. I was like woah, this cockanathan trying to do wad samba all, then POOF! goal.

1 word: magic.

and as the commentator very nicely reminds us: petr cech, petr cech NEVER MOVED.

It had everything,
skill to hold off FIVE defenders around him whilst making Carvallho (which virtually every fan who has watched the EPL will agree he's up there with the very best of defenders, and makes terry look half as good as he does) look like a joke twisting and turning.

vision to see petr cech off his line and the idea to take a shot.

power and technique to curl the ball into the corner with his outfoot.

and like i said, for making a goal out of nothing. it was obviously a hopeful punt-up that got headed away by terry. one barca fella got the ball saw 3 defenders around him and passed it to the magician who....POOF

magic i say.

That's why he's my favourite footballer to watch. Alot of people enjoy seeing c.Ronaldo dribble, I've never been too big a fan of him, yea he can out run he can head the ball and stuff, but i've rarely seen him create a goal out of nothing like this fella can. The back heels, the no-look passes, the scintillating dribbles, hell I'm running out of superlatives to describe this guy. I'm hoping he gets back his form in AC Milan and hopefully, we'll get to seethe best of him again, just like this other brazillian whom everyone thought had 'died'.

"Imagine being 419 days, 419 days, 2 hours, 23 minutes, and 9 seconds without doing what you enjoy most and gives you the most pleasure in your life. Without scoring goals. That's how I was. Yeah....was."

hold me tighter, cause i'm a fighter

2009-03-25T00:23:00.000-07:00

Beat It lyrics

[1st Verse]
They Told Him Don't You Ever Come Around Here
Don't Wanna See Your Face, You Better Disappear
The Fire's In Their Eyes And Their Words Are Really Clear
So Beat It, Just Beat It

[2nd Verse]
You Better Run, You Better Do What You Can
Don't Wanna See No Blood, Don't Be A Macho Man
You Wanna Be Tough, Better Do What You Can
So Beat It, But You Wanna Be Bad

[Chorus]
Just Beat It, Beat It, Beat It, Beat It
No One Wants To Be Defeated
Showin' How Funky Strong Is Your Fight
It Doesn't Matter Who's Wrong Or Right
Just Beat It, Beat It
Just Beat It, Beat It
Just Beat It, Beat It
Just Beat It, Beat It

[3rd Verse]
They're Out To Get You, Better Leave While You Can
Don't Wanna Be A Boy, You Wanna Be A Man
You Wanna Stay Alive, Better Do What You Can
So Beat It, Just Beat It

[4th Verse]
You Have To Show Them That You're Really Not Scared
You're Playin' With Your Life, This Ain't No Truth Or Dare
They'll Kick You, Then They Beat You,
Then They'll Tell You It's Fair
So Beat It, But You Wanna Be Bad

[Chorus]
Just Beat It, Beat It, Beat It, Beat It
No One Wants To Be Defeated
Showin' How Funky Strong Is Your Fight
It Doesn't Matter Who's Wrong Or Right

[Chorus]
Just Beat It, Beat It, Beat It, Beat It
No One Wants To Be Defeated
Showin' How Funky Strong Is Your Fight
It Doesn't Matter Who's Wrong Or Right
Just Beat It, Beat It, Beat It, Beat It, Beat It

[Chorus]
Beat It, Beat It, Beat It, Beat It
No One Wants To Be Defeated
Showin' How Funky Strong Is Your Fight
It Doesn't Matter Who's Wrong Or Right

[Chorus]
Just Beat It, Beat It, Beat It, Beat It
No One Wants To Be Defeated
Showin' How Funky Strong Is Your Fight
It Doesn't Matter Who's Wrong Or Who's Right

[Chorus]
Just Beat It, Beat It, Beat It, Beat It
No One Wants To Be Defeated
Showin' How Funky Strong Is Your Fight
It Doesn't Matter Who's Wrong Or Right

[Chorus]
Just Beat It, Beat It, Beat It, Beat It
No One Wants To Be Defeated
Showin' How Funky Strong Is Your Fight
It Doesn't Matter Who's Wrong Or Right
Just Beat It, Beat It
Beat It, Beat It, Beat It

its been an interesting week to be honest.

in many aspects pretty fucked up. I can't believed man utd lost again after that 4-1 defeat.

and it seems like everyone's having a bad week. from dj to 624 to myself, to half the soccer boys, and like.. yea. almost everyone i know. i haven't had the heart to call anyone to chat, cause nearly everyone i kno's been having it poor. and i just found out a pretty good confidant just left for melbourne. I knwo you won't see this nic, but take care!

but that wasn't the point of this post anyway.

( i kinda procastinated too much that i forgot most of it already)

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I've screwed up a large portion of my life up.

like despite everything often turning out right, i just manage to find a reason to screw it back up.

but i guess, there's enough balls in me to turn around and spit out the blood, to stand up again, and push it back on.

I'll admit the feeling sucked on tuesday. I was just getting on in the 2nd half, whilst playing soccer, when a tackle from this other fella left my ankle feeling a little loose. 20 mins, and running around the pitch like an aimless chicken and a very poorly taken shot at goal (thankfully it was at least on target) later, my ankle felt like it couldnt take anymore. I needed to get out of the pitch. I shouted for a substitution (abit too desperately, on hindsight) cause the ref was being really strict about substitutions like you had to get out of the field before the other fella could enter, so i was like worried about an infringement on the rules.

i guess i over did the shouting for the substitution cause i became the butt of the jokes thereafter.

"eh young man. uncle here is 45 years old and you don't hear me shouting for a substitution."

i swear, all i wanted to do was to dig a hole in the ground and hide there. Seriously, it was like, wow jason so for all the running you do at the reservoir duno how many times a week, you can't even last 1 half of a soccer match!?

talk about. ouch. my fitness has always been something i've been decently proud of. And its not just a relative thing, like cause i'm fat and stuff so my fitness is 'better' than others who are thinner but are doing relatively smilar to me. (no lukie this is not a criticism of you).

...
...
...

but i'm a fighter. I don't like to wallow in self pity and blame this and that. yea maybe that fella had something against you and is kinda biased against you. so? then stand up and prove him wrong. That's always been my rationale. Yea fine, scold me once, laugh at me, I'm man enough to admit my mistakes, my faults. But I've got enough spirit in me to fight and make you eat your words. I'll just keep coming back (hopefully) stronger.

maybe that's why I've been called stalker.

I've been suffering fom insomnia recently. and its pissing me off. I think i'm becoming alcoholic. I sincerely understand why people actually wanna drink so much. While I'll never understand why people can 'enjoy' beer with steaks and stuff like that, I'll understand why alcohol is such a wonderful tool to escape from all your problems. The feeling when you get high is so....

woo...

feels like insomnia ooh oh oh.

EDIT:
I was looking for a title for this blog post and i was looking thru my song lyrics looking for one that briefly mentioned about fighting and stuff. I found the song beat it after some searching, but since I have a sort of a 'rule' about using lyrics fm songs featureed in the same post in the titles. Somehow,the curent title just struck me. I cant remember where i got i from (i blame this in part to the splititng headache i have from drinking) or where i read it from. Myguess is its from ablog, but oh well. I did some research and apparently its a song from (surprise surprise) The Click Five - Kidnap My Heart. and apparently the correct lyric is you've got to hold me tighter, cause i'm a real fighter. strange. I could have sworn i remember the word baby to be included somewhere in it but oh well.

the lyrics look intersting,I guess i'll go to youtube to find check out the song when I'm back from my camp. Looks like a pretty good song, just like mary jane.

and I'm still pretty lazy to pack my stuff for camp... later today. 11am at boon lay mrt. let's hope i can get some fun out of this.

peace out people.

shuffle ah!

2009-03-23T08:57:00.000-07:00

[Feat. Colby O'Donis & Akon]

RedOne, Konvict
GaGa, oh-oh, eh

I've had a little bit too much, much
All of the people start to rush, start to rush by
A dizzy twisted dance, can't find my drink, oh man
Where are my keys? I lost my phone, phone

What's going on on the floor?
I love this record baby but I can't see straight anymore
Keep it cool, what's the name of this club?
I can't remember but it's alright, a-alright

Just dance, gonna be okay, da da doo-doo-mmm
Just dance, spin that record babe, da da doo-doo-mmm
Just dance, gonna be okay, d-d-d-dance
Dance, dance, just, j-j-just dance

Wish I could shut my playboy mouth, oh oh oh-oh
How'd I turn my shirt inside out? Inside outright
Control your poison babe, roses have thorns they say
And we're all getting hosed tonight, oh oh oh-oh

What's going on on the floor?
I love this record baby but I can't see straight anymore
Keep it cool, what's the name of this club?
I can't remember but it's alright, a-alright

Just dance, gonna be okay, da da doo-doo-mmm
Just dance, spin that record babe, da da doo-doo-mmm
Just dance, gonna be okay, d-d-d-dance
Dance, dance, just, j-j-just

When I come through on the dance floor checkin' out that catalog
Can't believe my eyes, so many women without a flaw
And I ain't gon' give it up, steady tryin' to pick it up like a car
I'ma hit it, I'ma hit it and flex and do it until tomorr' yeah

Shawty I can see that you got so much energy
The way you're twirlin' up them hips 'round and 'round
And now there's no reason at all why you can't leave here with me
In the meantime stay and let me watch you break it down

And dance, gonna be okay, da da doo-doo-mmm
Just dance, spin that record babe, da da doo-doo-mmm

Just dance, gonna be okay, da da doo-doo-mmm
Just dance, spin that record babe, da da doo-doo-mmm
Just dance, gonna be okay, d-d-d-dance
Dance, dance, just, j-j-just dance

Woo! Let's go!

Half psychotic, sick, hypnotic
Got my blueprint, it's symphonic
Half psychotic, sick, hypnotic
Got my blueprint electronic

Half psychotic, sick, hypnotic
Got my blueprint, it's symphonic
Half psychotic, sick, hypnotic
Got my blueprint electronic

Go! Use your muscle, carve it out, work it, hustle
I got it, just stay close enough to get it
Don't slow! Drive it, clean it, Lysol, bleed it
Spend the last dough
(I got it)
In your pocko
(I got it)

Just dance, gonna be okay, da da doo-doo-mmm
Just dance, spin that record babe, da da doo-doo-mmm

Just dance, gonna be okay, da da doo-doo-mmm
Just dance, spin that record babe, da da doo-doo-mmm
Just dance, gonna be okay, d-d-d-dance
Dance, dance, just, j-j-just dance

now i know there many songs about heartbreaks and stuff and most of them are sad, and i never believe in listening to sad songs when you're down cause basically... it just makes you feel worst i guess.

so this song is dedicated to you. On the notion anoter friend of mine created.

"got problem? shuffle ah!"

well.. this was the cloest i could get to 'just shuffle'

so... just dance :)

she said i said (time we let go)

2009-03-20T08:10:00.000-07:00

[Intro:]
I can’t help but wait…
Oh I, can’t help but wait…
Check it out

[Verse 1:]
I see you, you wit him- he ain’t right but you don’t trip
You stand by, while he lies- then turn right round and forget
I can’t take to see your face, with those tears run down your cheeks
But what can I do- I gotta stay true
Cause deep down I’m still a G

[Bridge:]
And I don’t wanna come between you and your man
Even though I know I treat you better than he can

[Hook:]
Girl I can’t help but wait
Til’ you get that with him, it don’t change
Can’t help but wait
Til’ you see that wit me it ain’t the same
Can’t help but wait
Til’ you, see you, for what you really are
Baby girl you are a star
And I can’t help but wait

[Verse 2:]
Listen, it ain’t fresh to just let him call the shots
You’re a queen, you should be, getting all that someone’s got
You should be rockin the latest in purses, bracelets, and watches, your worth
Much more than a occasional I love you
I’m thinking of you

[Bridge]

[Hook]

[Brakedown:]
Get it together- you can do better
Seein’s believing
And I see what you need so
I’m gone play my position
Let you catch what you’ve been missin
I’m callin out, girl cause I can’t help but wait

[Hook 2x]

[Outro:]
Oh- can’t help but wait, babe
No-no-no-no-no-no
I can’t help but wait
Oh-oh-oh- can’t help but wait
No, no, no

i decided there's no point in talking much in this post.

I know you're prbably never gonna see this, but well good luck. if ya need any1 to rant at... i'm online half the time?